Whenever I go to a gallery, museum etc, I have a game that I play: I’m going to steal one of these works of art – but which one? And I thought it might be an interesting idea to share this game with the board, see if we could keep a record of planned thefts, and share images of the painting/sculpture/photograph/etc. in question.
Today Mrs Trep and I were in Tate Britain, and I was playing this game in the Turner/Constable rooms. I have to say I’m not a huge fan of either, and in truth I’ll have loaded the Tate’s entire Dante Gabriel Rossetti collection into the van long before even thinking about Turner or Constable – but that was today’s game. And so, after due consideration, this was what I decided to steal.
I especially like that Turner’s fogged-out style really lends itself to a barely perceptible view of Venice as the ship heads seawards. And I hope you like it too.
So, if you’d like to play the game, whenever you are in the midst of art (and I think we should agree a very wide interpretation of the term) – think about what you would like to steal, and let the rest of us guys know about it. Link us to an image, of course.
What have you got?
j
PS: Specimen of Dante Gabriel Rossetti’s work. See what I mean?
Many years ago I went to a special exhibition of Vinces (as we aesthetes call them) at the Musée d’Orsay and was absolutely stunned. Beautiful and incredibly powerful - and you couldn’t see them without thinking that Vince was deeply, deeply disturbed. An astonishing show.
Our library is currently running an exhibit of pieces by a young painter. There’s a really great copy of The Great Wave, a so-so The Starry Night and some variable original stuff.
I wouldn’t mind having the copy of The Great Wave.
Spoonbridge & Cherry, from the Minneapolis Sculpture Garden.
'course, I’d have to have a house with a yard big enough to hold it, but I figured that’d be provided as part of the deal.
Alan Bennett - who I believe did a stint as a Trustee of the National Gallery (the great perk of which is giving you access at any time of night) - admitted to similar temptation. I think his line was that as a measure of art appreciation it "owed rather more to Pentonville than Kenneth Clark’'.
Something small. Something Dutch. Something from the Mauritshaus? A Vermeer would be presumptuous. And The Goldfinch has already been thought about.
One of the Bosch triptychs. Let’s go with The Garden of Earthly Delights, just because I love the density and pure weirdness of the images. Also includes The Creation of the World on the backside.
In Tate Britain we were with friends; they had their grandson in a buggy. I’m not quite sure how it would have worked, but they were unhappy with the plan anyway. Otherwise, a van out the back, wear work clothes and look confident.
A couple of weeks ago we were in Malaga and saw the Picasso/Calder exhibition. I never got Picasso at all up to that point, but take a look at the Bull series, in which he abstracts the image of a bull (scroll ~ two thirds of the way down). Wow. So obviously, I would have to have all of them – that’s why you need a van. Plus the things that impressed me most were Calder’s wire sculptures. I can’t find the one I loved most on line, but this sort of thing. So yes, definitely a van.
Richard Dadd’s The Fairy Feller’s Master Stroke; John Singer Sargent’s Carnation, Lily, Lily, Rose; Mark Gertler’s The Merry Go Round; Epstein’s Jacob and the Angel, for starters.
Guernica. Not only is it the most impressive work of art I’ve ever viewed with my own eyes, but to undertake the theft of something that large would be an epic undertaking (cutting it out of its frame and rolling it up is cheating).
Ooh, now you’ve got me thinking of ways that I could get the museum to crate up the art and ship it to me overseas…
Hmm, might have to play the long game. Position myself as the only scientist with a boutique spectral analysis lab that can analyze the neutrino decay of a piece of art to see if it’s making museum-goers more susceptible to “sub-atomic mutations”. They’ll send me their largest pieces to avoid thousands of lawsuits.
If they ship their masterpieces to my aerie in the Swiss Alps, I’ll guarantee a one week turnaround, and send them a color-coded neutrino analysis Power Point at no extra charge. Which they can show their board members to justify my rates, while they wait for their art to be returned…
I’m similar in loving the “blurred” images; however, I would go for Peggy Guggenheim museum’s contribution to my collection: Russolo’s “Solidity of Fog”. In real life it is a darker blue, to my eye at least, and it’s lack of clarity creates such mystery to my mind of the entire scene! I’ve seen it 3 times and have 2 prints and I see or think something new or pick up on a new detail or nuance every time I gaze upon it. It speaks to me unlike any other piece. Michelangelo’s David is the other piece that just blows my mind but due to its perfection.
