That’s a good point, I thought I was being friendly but it does sound kind of closed. What about the rest of it, is it ok?
Nothing there trips my creep-o-meter.
Sometimes people just aren’t interested. Not everything is a personal judgement or attack. Sometimes you’re just not right* for them*. It doesn’t mean there’s something objectively bad or wrong about you.
I wasn’t thinking it was anything personal, just wondering if I was going about it the right way. At least I don’t come across creepy.
Rest of it sounds good. I definitely would do what Joey did and say “hope to hear from you” - because while the act of messaging itself shows intent, the “hope to hear from you” shows you are actually well, looking forward to hearing from them!
But for not getting messages in return…I don’t know why women do that. Future MIL doesn’t respond to guys she’s not interested in, try as I might to get her to. Sometimes it’s how they look, sometimes it’s their interests - I wouldn’t take it as “they think I’m unattractive”. It really could be any number of things, which of course is no help.
Which begs the question, IMO… Why does it *need *to be a help? People don’t create profiles on sites like Match and OkC in order to help other people improve their profiles. They do it to find people to date, fuck, or marry. If Guy X messages me and I’m not interested, why do I need to tell him why? A simple “Sorry, not interested,” should suffice–and a lack of any reply, while potentially considered rude by some, should carry the same message.
Argh.
Gotta agree with Guns. I don’t need a girl to tell me she’s not interested. If she views my profile without responding that’s actually a response right there. Only the most socially retarded are going to think that they were anything but rejected.
Hey, I used it correctly in both the current (causes one to ask the question) *and *former (makes an inherent assumption in the premise) meanings.
Not really to the latter. And while I realize that for all intensive purposes the meaning of the phrase has shifted to the former, I’d really prefer that it not be used at all.
What about when they don’t look at your profile?
Next question. Email a girl. Nice reply. I write back, but she’s offline for about 2 weeks. She signs on, looks at my profile, no response. I send her a “You seem busy, maybe we should meet” type email. She’s offline for another two weeks. She signs on, checks my profile. No reply. She’s now back to being on regularly. Assume she’s not interested?
Same thing.
Yes.
So you’re implying that an IM that says “WTF bitch?” would be out of line.
Do you know who you’re talking to?
So no, it wouldn’t be out of line. As long as you tell us what happens.
Maybe I’ll just have SFG go and have a little ‘talk’ with her. At 6 feet she’ll tower over her. I bet she can intimidate her into emailing me back. Who wouldn’t want to be in a relationship with someone who’s with you solely out of fear? :dubious:
Well holy balls, she just emailed me. Got the email on my phone, looks like a simple “How Are You” but that works for me. I’ll certainly reply when I get home tonight.
Thanks Guns, you didn’t have to. But it made my fucking day.
Whatever floats your boat man. Remember to scrub her apartment for evidence when you’re done!
Perhaps not in the most nitpicky sense, but it certainly is accurate to say that her post begged the question in assuming necessarily that you should help make other people on dating sites “better” when you reject them.
Also, I see what you did there. And it’s not comparable. That’s a speech error, that is. Although sometimes even those make their way into being “correct” (cf. “an apron” vs. “a napron”).
I’m very good at looming.
No looming? 
Oh well, congrats anyway, I suppose.
You can loom over me any time you want. 
You’ll come in handy if I ever decide to D.E.N.N.I.S. someone.
So that girl up thread, the one that kept disappearing. Yeah, I’m supposed to meet her on Thursday and all of a sudden one of my Eharmony matches decided to reply. I’m trying to keep the EH at bay, taking my time to get back to her until I see how my date goes. My EH subscription is going to run out on January 22nd and I have no intention of re-upping that waste of money. I suppose if I want to pursue her (and I don’t get a good vibe from the match girl), I’ll give her my email address.
Kind of puts me in a bind here though. If I don’t have my mind made up my Jan 22nd, do I ask her for her email address and tell her that I’m giving someone (that I met before her) a chance and if it doesn’t work out I’d like to contact her? Do I just disappear from EH and leave her high and dry and if it doesn’t work out either re-up for a month or wait for a free weekend to contact her (or see if I can track her down on facebook)?
Do I move forward with both of them at the same time, IRL? Do I let them both know this? Do I not tell either? I’d hate to do that since it would mean A)I wouldn’t be able to put 100% into either one of them and B)I’d either have to tell one of them I can’t see them anymore or hope one of the relationships fizzles out on it’s own.
What to do?
When it rains…
I would talk with EH girl and ask her to meet in person either this email or next email to her. Tell the EH girl you can meet on Sunday IF you have Friday and/or Saturday free to date the “up thread” girl sooner. If you only have one more piece of time free the rest of the week, save it for “up thread” girl and tell EH you already had plans this weekend; ask when is good for her next week.
Don’t wait till the 22nd to go out with this girl! I think you should definitely make time for her before then; ask her out this email or next. DO NOT say you’re giving someone else a chance. Guys may like or not mind competing for one girl’s attention but women generally loathe it. Keep 'em separate until you decide on one.
Don’t tell either and yes, do move forward at the same time. You’ll know after a few dates who you like more. Do what you need to on the work front to ease your burden temporarily and on the kid front (maybe even get a babysitter for a night or two you have her so you can go out) just till you decide which one you like more. I know you love your daughter and the time you spend with her is important to you, but also know she wants you to be happy. All of my friends with divorced parents say they liked it when their parents dated; kids do want you to be happy.
Honestly, it should be apparent within 2-5 dates who you like better. It might even just take one date with each of them. Just remember that a date is not exclusivity. You’re not doing a thing wrong by dating them at the same time. If one of them presses you to see if you’re seeing someone else, just say no. Even if they see you out with someone else, you reasonably could have scheduled it after your date with them.
My parents spent their first date when my mom was technically on a date with another guy, who proceeded to get hammered. My mom had scheduled a first date with my dad later in the week and a second or thrid date with this guy that night. My mom, not being the brightest tool in the shed, had the bar date at a popular hangout for where they work and my dad showed up, sat in the back with a friend and laughed at the scene. My mom came over and they started talking. Ego boost for my dad and win-win all around. They ended up talking the whole night and then went on their scheduled 1st date the next night.
So, stranger things have happened than dating two people at once. It definitely works itself out more quickly than you’d think.