The opposite sex

Oh, man. Being able to understand directions and find places would be awesome. I hear men are generally better at that than women.

The ability to go through an entire month without pelvic pain, a 5 pound weight gain and feeling like I’m in junior high again would also be nice.

Trying to make it through one day on the Straight Dope without hearing about how fucked up your gender is. That’d be tops. Jesus Christ this sexist shit pisses me off.

I want the lack of body self-consciousness that would let me strut my blubbery stuff in a Speedo, thinking I’m kind of hot.

Cite? (I don’y mean that in a snarky way. Just currious is all)

Multitasking. Like watching TV and reading a book at the same time.

The convenient built-in pee-pee hose is the only thing that I really envy.

I was just going to say that about men. It’s true of my husband, Dad and Brother, anyway!

Yes you can. Walk into an average bar and ask the first single, straight guy you encounter if he would like to come home with you for sex. I’d say there’s an above 80% that he will accept on the spot. If he doesn’t, he probably has a good reason.

I’d grant that an average woman can’t have sex with anyone, since some men will simply be rich/famous/attractive enough to be able to discriminate, but the majority of men don’t fall into that category.

I’d take multitasking and manual dexterity.

I think it would be neat to be able to grow a beard and keep my face warm in the winter time.

Agreed. That goes for both men-bashing and women-bashing. Just knock it off already people.

There is absolutely nothing I’m jealous of when it comes to men.

I really don’t know what’s so special about peeing standing up. Sometimes using the restroom is the only chance I have to sit!

A man’s ability to wear clothes that are only functional (and comfortable) and still come across as stylish.

The ability to separate sex from feelings. As in, wanting to have sex with someone you find attractive, even if you have no feelings for them and/or being able to have sex without developing feelings. I’m not saying this is exclusive to men, but it does seem to be more common among them.

When I have to pee into a cup without pissing all over my hands, it seems like a mighty special privilege to me. The penis seems like a convenient gizmo, especially if you have to go in the woods or something. It’s funny looking, though, so I guess you have to take the bad with the good.

Good grief. I can’t compartmentalize sex and have absolutely no sense of direction. I wonder if I am missing out.

At least I can urinate standing up.

To do the male equivalent of how women walk. The swaying thing with the hips and ass cheeks is really mesmerizing.

Peeing standing up. And pockets.

It would be nice to be able to lift more stuff, too. And it’s infuriating how easily men lose weight. And maybe I wouldn’t be the sole breadwinner AND the only one who knows how to load the dishwasher, but that’s my own relationship problem.

On the whole, though, I wouldn’t switch.


That! “Here I am in all my glory, world - sit back and enjoy the view of a MAN!”

I would like to be taller and able to lift heavy things. It would really help with doing things around the house like moving stuff and decorating, yardwork and opening jars with tight lids.

Also, I would like to have my employers/bosses not making decisions about me based on the likelihood that I will take time off for maternity leave, leave promptly to pick up my kid, or miss work for child rearing reasons.

Better orgasms. Throw-your-head-back, almost-weeping, wake-up-the-neighbors type of orgasms. I love sex as it is, but the girls are clearly having even more fun than me.

As discussed in the thread last week about commercials with idiot husbands and smart wives, I suppose I’ll settle for being able to load a dishwasher correctly or buy the correct brand of peanut butter. :slight_smile:

Strength. Men can just pick up things so casually that I have to work at and struggle with. Grr.

The ability for most men to buy pants just based on waist and length numbers. My husband could just buy jeans off the shelf. I have to try everything on and have no idea what size to start with. BAH!

I’d like to feel warm, too. That seems to be a man trait.

To sleep with a hot stranger and know you’ve got an excellent chance of actually having an orgasm. And of not being assaulted should you change your mind. That would be cool.

Also, like everyone else, peeing easily in nature. Not, mind you, against the side of buildings. That’s just barbaric.

ETA Do people still say ‘opposite sex’? It just sounds so outdated.