My new apartment is small. Very small. There is barely any storage space…which means I have to get rid of a bunch of my things - my history.
I cannot describe how incredibly depressing it is to sort through the sum of my life and decide which bits of me I have to cast aside. As I struggle to slough off this detritus, I am blasted by memories.
I remember the first time I played this game. I remember the first time I read this book. I remember this birthday card and the person who gave it to me. I remember the scent of the woman who gave me this bracelet. I remember the weather outside when my grandfather gave this gift, the last gift he would ever give me.
It’s kind of hard to take all at once. I had been carrying all these bits with me each time I moved, always confident I could keep them forever, and not really realizing what they mean to me.
I have to pass judgement on each piece of myself and deciding what memory to amputate.
It fucking sucks, and the economy that forces me into this situation fucking sucks too. I can’t even fucking afford a storage unit. It’s utterly, intensely painful.
Sorry, had vent. Now maybe I can go back to rating my memories based on usefulness and volume.
Having lived in apartments the size of a living room in an average house, I feel your pain. My best advice to you (if you haven’t thought of it already) is getting lots of storage/shelving units in your place. Load up the closets, the bathroom, any available wall space with shelves, baskets, rolling storage units, anything that you can put things in or on. It will make a huge difference in your living space. And maybe you won’t have to part with so many memories.
I was gonna make a comment about my bowel movements being painful too, but it wasn’t that kind of rant.
I don’t know if this will work, but when my wife and I bought our house, we had 2 or 3 storage boxes in our basement from friends. They were moving to a smaller apartment, back home, on an assignment for 6 months, etc. We weren’t storing anything bug like sofas or beds, but a computor monitor size box with whatever they didn’t have room to store. It didn’t take up much space in the grand scheme of things. If you could have any of several house-owning friends take one box each, their “marginal inconvenience” would be very small.
I understand the pain of moving but from a different view. Just moved into my house about a mile away from campus, classes start in a week. Having to leave my family for school again wasn’t easy, although it was a heck of a lot easier than my first year of college was. But it is hard to be almost totaly alone in town you don’t really know how to get around (i can get to work, target and school so far). I miss some of my friends so much it hurts, and yes I do know it will all get better with time, and after I meet people. Geeze i want a hug from my friends back home now, but alas there at home.
Consider the wonders of the loft-style bed. Mine own is a king-size, raised about 3ft (currently, it goes to about 5, but low ceilings interfere) off the floor. This gives me a goodly boost in storage space. So, why not ask a handy freind if they could build such a thing, or take the plunge and do it yourself.
Ouch, I apologize for my overly melodramatic rant here.
I was feeling pretty sorry for myself, due to the fact my formerly soon-to-be roommate shafting me and forcing me to get an apartment on about 3 days notice that was much smaller than the one we were going to get. Not to mention that my blood sugar was pretty damn low and I was exhausted.
It’s not quite as bleak as I painted in the OP, as I have several friends that have offered storage space since I wrote this. That (and lunch) have made a world of improvement in the situation.
