((((((roo))))))) I hope stuff gets better really soon
Wow phouka, quite a day!
On the plus sides I see 1) you have a set of proverbial balls on you, taking matters into your hands, removing fuses; 2) you stood up to him while under stress; 3) your brother behaved well; 4) good police interactions; and the best news of all, 5) you now have the lost keys under your control!
Well that’s the best I can do on short notice. Once again you make me proud.
Holy shit Phouka. I’m impressed with your ability to stand up to your father even with the possibility of violence. I like to think I’d be strong enough to stand up to a parent (or anyone really) in this type of circumstance but I fear that my general wussiness would take hold.
I am getting my hair cut tomorrow!! I’m gonna get my first adult haircut of my life.
My feet are asleep.
BIL puts on his most somber voice & states, “Oh, haven’t you heard, he’s no longer with us.” This statement gets you put on their do not call list.
My variant is they’ll be back in about 7 years, if you want them sooner call SCIG (male names) or SCIM (female names), with SCI standing for State Correctional Institution. :eek:
What she said. Poor dear.
As I told my mom while my dad was dying… there are worse things…
phouka, that is just terrible. I am highly impressed with how you stood up to your Dad. I wish I could offer advice or help, but all I can offer is a shoulder. Take care.
Roses are Red
Violets are blue
I’m ADD
OOOOHHH! Shiny!
{{{{{phouka}}}}} You and bro done good.
I’m over the initial shock, and I’m now steaming angry.
Bro did not intervene until Dad raised his fist.
It took FIVE police officers to talk Dad out of leaving on foot. They finally gave him a choice of “go home, or we’ll take you to the VA hospital”. When he came back in, he gave me the nastiest smile.
Mom didn’t leave until I called her and started sobbing on the phone. It took her two hours to get home. In that time, my sister, who was teaching when I called her, came over as soon as school let out and beat her there.
When Mom came in, she asked me one question: “Did he hurt you?” The answer was no, not physically. But, apparently, that’s all that mattered, because after that she basically told me to pull it together, we still had to take care of Dad. This was the point where I put my foot down.
No. I am not taking care of Dad anymore. I will not participate. Period. He has physically attacked me. I don’t fucking care if it’s the Alzheimer’s. The Alzheimer’s is not going away. If he’d pulled this shit on any other person - a stranger, a police officer, a health worker - he would have been up on charges or hauled away to a psych ward. But, because I’m his daughter, I’m supposed to put up with it? Bullshit.
I had a counseling appointment scheduled at 4. I called and canceled it at 3, just when the fun was dying down. My counselor called me at 4:30 and told me to get my butt in there for crisis counseling. I went. I downloaded. She laid out some harsh facts for me:
- Mom is not going to deal with this any time soon
- No one else is going to look out for me
- Staying in a situation where it’s okay for someone to physically attack me is Very Bad.
She all but told me to get the hell out of Dodge.
My trip to Texas is at the beginning of May. I’m thinking very, very hard of making it one way.
And thank you to all who sent me FB friend requests. It really does make me feel all warm and fuzzy.
Not wanting to sound like a lout, but why wait until May? Hon, there comes a point where self-preservation is the best thing, and I think you’ve passed it a long time ago.
You need to have a come to Jesus with mom. Commit dad NOW, or you’re gone.
You took my…what are those!?
Yes it is.
As for “he didn’t hurt you so it’s all right”, it puts me to mind of being told that having a 5yo child exhibit himself in front of a bunch of men “wasn’t that bad, it’s not like they abused him” (by some very skewed definitions of “bad” and “abused”), or that being pinched black and blue “doesn’t hurt” (oh, look, a bruise half as long as my upper arm!).
I hope you can get out of there soon, because as you already know things aren’t going to get better.
Sunday I dropped Mom off at her sister’s. Auntie made this vest I’m supposed to be borrowing to bring to a paternal-side cousin’s wedding. Mom called today at 7am asking whether I’d taken the vest. No, Mom, I had nowhere to put it and it needs to go to your house anyway. Yesterday was a holiday; today is my Monday, Mom and Auntie will be coming to Barcelona, Mom will be staying at Grandma’s for a week and wants me to take her to the theater.
I tried to purchase the theater tickets in advance, since my bank’s ATMs sell them… only, they’re set to offer only tickets from the province you’re in :rolleyes: I was able to find a mail contact form and drop them an, ahem, “suggestion” to include an “other provinces” button, make the shows listable by name/artist and not just by location, unhide their freaking contact info somewhat, oh and btw the “contact us” form should include options for “ATMs”, “ticket sales” and “others”. If a suggestion form can growl, that one does.
{{{{{Kanga}}}}} - be strong, sweetie!
I’m up way too early because someone was snoring and twitching like crazy so I couldn’t sleep anyway. He needs his sleep, so I decided to let him have the bed to himself.
We’re supposed to go to a flea market today. I’m going to look it up and see if it’s even open - in my experience, they just run on weekends. If it’s not open, it’ll be another day of sitting around looking at each other. And we don’t leave for 2 more days… On the plus side, I finished an afghan and started another. We watch lots of TV here.
If we hadn’t decided for sure before, we’ve decided now - we do not like Florida and we do not intend to move back here to die. Merrylande is so much nicer.
Happy Tuesday!
Good Mornin’ Y’all! Up and caffienatin’. YAWN 'Tis a chilly 49 Amurrkin out with a predicted high of 83 for the day. Tomorrow’s high is predicted to be only 73. Well, BRRRRRRRRRR! 
{{{kanga}}} sounds to me like your therapist gives good advice. It’s easier to sit here and post than it’s easier to do, but I gotta agree with what BBBobbio said. We know underneath it all you love your dad but there is just so much one person can take.
Now for some GRRRRRRRR… Freakin’ ATT Mobility did indeed charge each of us a thirty-six dollar “upgrade fee.” We got the most basic phones offered. I had to charge the phones, make sure all the contacts were transferred from the old phones to the new phones and activate the new phones. So tell me jus exactly what ATT did that warrants any kind of fee. The phone call they shall receive later today will not be pleasant for them. For me, however, it will be fun.
Now I need me some more caffiene and rumbly tummy demands to be fed. Then, alas, irk purtification must commence.
Happy Tuesday Y’all!
Up, caffeinated, off to irk
“Mr. Bear, there appears to be a misunderstanding. It’s not an upgrade fee, it’s actually a downgrade fee. You see, it’s obvious that you’re, how shall we put this, frugal, and we can’t bleed any cash out of you any other way! Now pay up. KTHXBAI!”****
So much fun to be had out there. This is mine…
Lessee, on 7 Feb I signed and notarized the deed and other paperwork to turn over the Former VunderLair to the bank.
Two weeks ago Saturday, I had a whirlwind trip to the Former VunderLair to do a checkoff list that the property was in order, and turn over any remaining keys to the property management company.
Saturday night, while Moses/Charleston Heston was busy getting his ass exiled from Egypt, the property management called and said I needed to re-sign the checkoff list. OOKAAYYY, so they sent me a PDF, I signed it, and sent it back within 20 minutes of reception. They also said I was on the hook to mow the yard and keep up on the shrubbery.
WHISKY TANGO FOXTROT?
I signed the house over 2 months ago, and I have no keys. IANAL, but those two facts coupled with me dropping the homeowner’s policy is a good indication that I. Don’t. Own. The. Joint. I have no obligation to maintain it any more.
That’s the set up. I called the bank, and got the answering machine. I expect them to call back today. I also called the property management company, got a live person, and gave them an earful. PM said the matter is between me and the bank. Bullshit, because it’s their contracted representative telling me I have to maintain the property.
When the bank does call back, my strategy will be this:
[ul]
[li]Recap the setup I just gave you.[/li]
[li]Demand a statement in writing that I’m supposed to maintain the property.[/li]
[li]Inform them that I will be happy to mow the property, but I will bill them for time and expenses. I will also file suit when they refuse to pay up.[/li][/ul]
The bill will cover rental car, gas, lawn equipment rental, gas for that, and my time metered on rental car pickup and drop off. I figure a round trip to be about 15 hours, and my time is billed at $120/hour. That’ll be about $2000 to mow the yard.
All of you fighting the power, ROCK ON!!!
Gee, Bob, sounds like it might be a good story for a local tv station to do.
Too bad you don’t know anybody at a local tv station.
Ahem.
(PM me if you are interested. Can’t promise we would do it but being screwed by a bank is usually a winner.)