You kind of need a follow through to call it assertive.
Personally, I only cry to get out of major fuckups with my girlfriend. I am manly that way.
I heard Chuck Norris’s tears cure baldness.
I just remembered another anecdote. Back when I was in High School my good friend got a call from his girl friend saying that she wanted to “talk”. He wasn’t very happy about it but was resigned to his fate.
So they were walking and she explained to him that what she really needed was a boy friend who was more sensitive. “Fair enough,” he thought but it was a cold evening and his nose started running. He sniffled a little bit to remedy the runny nose which his girlfriend mistook for weeping. She then realized that she had been too hasty in her assessment. He really was a sensitive guy and she wanted to give it another try. They dated for another year.
And then he strangled her and stuffed her body into a chimney.
Would the ritual work in a motel room? On short notice? Would I need to go buy a live chicken?
Oh, no reason. Just . . . umm . . . curious, that’s all.
Don’t do it, Frank. If you so much as touch her, there will be an album entirely about what a mean jerk you are at #1 on the Billboard charts in three weeks.
Based on what we’ve seen of her so far.
Actually, they cure cancer. Problem is, he’s never cried.
Actually my tears and saying “I don’t want to do it” is just saying that I really don’t want to do it but there is the possibility that I could do it… on the other hand you’re talking about an ultimatum where I either don’t do it or get fired.
I didn’t plan to cry. Anyway by letting me not do that task it meant less drama… if he had made me do that task he would have risked more drama.
May we know what exactly the task was, the better to contemplate its relative cryworthiness?
This is about the first time I’ve had trouble doing my job in the last 2 years or so… well I did decline another task many months ago. Also I get paid less than half of what other employees there get I think. I am very productive doing the other new tasks now.
Well he did come up with reasons himself - he asked if it was too messy or something.
I did - I said I’d rather do those other tasks.
The boss gets annoyed if I ask the other guy for help. So does the other guy because he’s got lots of work to do. Also the other guy isn’t familiar with that task much at all.
That job really suits me. It is far easier just to keep the tasks in that job ones I like than to start all over again.
All I did was to switch which tasks I’m doing. I’m about as productive as the higher paid workers in the other tasks I think and they’re far far more productive in the task I declined. Not really a “strong reason to look for a replacement”.
He has different workers… some for the difficult tasks some for easier tasks. There will always be work for easier tasks. I think it is highly unlikely he’d find someone with as much flexibility with working hours and competence for easier tasks at the same amount of pay I get.
There are many projects going on. The one I didn’t want to do was on the “to do” list. Anyway he asked another worker if he can have a look at it and see if it can be done within a few hours.
I think your suggestion to look for another job is a bad one. You don’t understand my situation. This job is very convenient to me. I mostly get along with the people there very well. It is rewarding. I think it makes more sense to risk the job than to just look for another job. In the first case it is far more likely that I’d keep the job. But also apparently there is a rule that I need 3 warnings before I can be fired, so my job doesn’t depend on this one situation.
BTW here is another story about me and my boss - a while ago I warned my boss about something and he didn’t listen to me. Then later a problem arose and he said I should have told him about it. He said I can’t make silly mistakes. I said that I can’t guarantee I won’t make silly mistakes in the future. He said “like what?” and I explained some of the problems I’ve been having. I think I might have cried a bit too then.
Basically it was a technical complicated computer-related task.
Yes that is such a mighty power!
Just about my prospects for finding another job… after my mental illness began the first job a job placement agency found my was one where I help a boss manage her shares for about 4-8 hours a week. I’d type in numbers in a spreadsheet. Then the stock exchange conditions meant that she would just hold on to her shares and she didn’t need me anymore. Then I worked in a cafe putting out chairs and tables and salt and pepper, etc, and used the dishwashing machine. At one point my support worker complained that I didn’t smile. (In the past I’ve heard second-hand that someone complained that I never asked them how I was) Then I worked on two music videos for a friend and gave up the cafe job (which was maybe 12 hours a week). Then I went to another job agency (which was also for people with disabilities). They found a potential job that partly involved answering phones. You need to note that in the past my voice is seen as being monotone. (that song I recorded was after I’d experienced some mania) I’d also had a flat “affect” (emotion) in the past.
Anyway then I moved out of my parent’s house and went to a shared living place with 24 hour nurses on call. While I was there I did volunteer work related to hospitality. Then I got a shared house of my own. I went back to university and in about my 2nd or 3rd year I found computer-related work there - there were 3 different jobs. And before that there was 1 job that 2 of us applied for. I said that I would do it for free to get experience. That allowed me to get those other 3 jobs. Only my current job knows I have a mental illness though. I originally was doing it unpaid but then I got in contact with yet another job agency and they organised them getting a refund on my first 6 month’s pay. Now that I’ve finished university I think it would be quite a bit harder to find more computer-related jobs. BTW I’ve hated most of my jobs. I’d get bored and time would pass slowly. I don’t recall that happening with my current job. The location is very convenient to the buses. The boss wants to move and he said he’d move somewhere that is convenient to my buses as well.
As it happens, I’m in the market for a new nemesis (court order prevents me from disclosing details on the status of my former nemesis). PM me your resume with references, serious inquiries only. Warning: I have very high standards for arch-nemesis, you might be more comfortable taking a position as gadfly or even rival/adversary and working your way up.
And that’s the real meaning of Christmas.
I’m starting to read through:
I think something that applies to my situation was:
Since I had done pretty well at previous tasks he assumed I’d do well at this harder task… then eventually I might get to a point where I’m not doing well and then he’d stop making the tasks harder. But I didn’t want to risk failure like that.
On the other hand… this anti-pattern:
But you’ll have to take the position unpaid. For experience.
Are you a middle manger with an over inflated sense of self importance (i.e. do you feel this middle management position is something lofty that makes you feel like you are at the top of the food chain)? Are you a little dense socially? Do you find a way to go on and on about yourself no matter what the subject is? Are you occupationally provincial? Are your comebacks to jibes similar to George Costanza’s Jerk store? I’m looking for a little bit of Ricky Gervais from the office hopefully mixed with a little Danny Devito’s character from Taxi - in other words the very low hanging fruit. I really couldn’t handle some sort of Putin-like nemesis.
What can I offer? Sort of a Jim Ignatowski mixed with general shakespearian fool/jester - generally not one to take himself too seriously and finds people who do amusing.
Well, he certainly is now.
That be my guess.