Some people I know are masters at being able to make their point indirectly, with subtlety.
Especially in a professional environment, I think this skill can go a long way. I can feel the effects of it…but still don’t fully grasp why it’s so powerful. Any insights?
This is it. When someone makes a deduction for themselves rather than being told what to think, they are more likely to become invested in the belief and hold onto it.
Steven Pinker talks about this in his book The Stuff of Thought, in a chapter on seduction and bribes. It’s a great book. Basically, it comes down to a matrix:
Blunt, audience agrees: they’re a little offended, but can go along with it.
Blunt, audience disagrees: they’re outraged, back against the wall, likely to “strike back.”
Subtle, audience agrees: they maintain face and go along with it.
Subtle, audience disagrees: they maintain face and put forth their own proposal without any need to “strike back.”
That’s not exactly how Pinker suggests it works, but I think it applies to this particular permutation of indirect speech.