The President Has Been Assassinated!

…But the President… of what? We’ll tell you, right after the break.

(Don’tcha just hate it when news shows bait you?)

“A wise man will not leave the right to the mercy of chance, nor wish it to prevail through the power of the majority. There is but little virtue in the action of masses of men.”
– Henry David Thoreau

“Some of the lunch-meats on the shelves may be poisoned-We’ll tell you which ones on Eyewitness News at 6!”

Nuclear war has broken out! Twenty American cities are slated for total destruction! We’ll tell you which ones after the br-

SanibelMan goes trolling… film at 11.

“This just in: the world will end at 10:30! Details at eleven.”

Scare news… we’ve done this thread before… okay, yeah, whatever!

Methinks SanibelMan’s Secret Service dossier just got a leetle bit bigger.

The best one I heard was years ago. Beatles die in airplane,after this commercial break. Turns out some airline was spraying pesticide(yep,the kill beatles,etc.!) funny!!!

::wrenching this thread back into the Pit mode::

I, for one, am heartily sick of getting second-by-second coverage of car chases, hostage situations, etc. A simple “Don’t go to the area around 5th and Main”, flashed across the screen, is sufficient. And, in fact, would be more useful. The TV news “reporters” are hired for their ability to use a mirror and blow dryer to the best effect, not for their skill in speaking extemporally. I think that a news flash, and then a special report if needed, would be much more interesting than hearing the reporter interview the victim’s mother, the perp’s father, the guy who was walking his dog somewhere within two miles of the incident, other reporters…

Yes, I realize that this stuff is tragic. But most of us don’t NEED to know anything immediately, except a warning not to go into the scene of the action.

Lynn the Packrat

But if they don’t interview the guy walking his dog while the incident is going on, how are we supposed to form snap-judgements and underinformed opinions on the subject?!

what tracer said.
In a similar vein, if reporters didn’t harass the victims of tragedy, how would I know how they feel?

You say “cheesy” like that’s a BAD thing.

It’s easy, tracer. Obviously the perpetrator is a godless heathen.
– Sylence


And now, for my next trick, I will talk in spooky half-references.

The most annoying thing that the media does is stretch out a sensational news story when new information is not yet available.

After JFK Jr’s plane crashed, a CNN correspondent discussed for several minutes the reasons why she believed that the Kennedy family would not make a public statement for that day.

Similarly, the media sometimes includes “the latest news on [enter story here] is coming up shortly.” The news is usually something that has been mentioned before, rehashed so that it sounds new.

Sannibel is going to France. Keep him there!!!


Sylence wrote:

No, no! It would never have happened if not for easy access to guns. Um, and pot. Yeah. Pot made him do it.