Comrades!
I am pleased to report great progress in our glorious effort! (I have given our allies the League of Numbers the day off.)
Not only has Agent g infiltrated one of their U-boats, disguised as a string, but I have managed to obtain some serious blackmail material on one of TVF’s key agents.
It has come to my attention that Dr. c, the well-known specialist in sexual malfunctions, has been treating Agent i for premature ejaculation problems. It seems that i always comes before his partner e, much to i’s embarrassment and e’s frustration. Although the therapy has been working and i no longer comes first after meeting with c, I’m sure that i would not wish to have the details of his little “problem” to become too widely known. This could be the leverage we need!
I’ve also taken the liberty of assigning Agent j to “get friendly” with e. In her frustrated state, she may be vulnerable to the charms of a letter with a longer… “tail”, so to speak.
As you can see, we are undermining the enemy operations on a daily basis. Soon victory will be…
What? Over? What do you mean the struggle is over? Why didn’t somebody tell me?!? Why didn’t I get the memo?!?
NOW what am I supposed to do with all these files? And the photos? And the special equipment? What do you expect me to do…have a garage sale?
[sub]Sheesh…[/sub]
Ja, jr8, the war is over. We have group-hugged, clinked the glasses, sung “Lili Marlene” …
However, do not despair, comrade. Save your little … tidbits for when we next have one of … those parties … 
In the meantime, welkommen, come sit down with the rest of our guests. Schnaps?
Yes, ryoushi! The glorious war is over! Let us all join you in a smile!
Signed
The Vowel NicePeople.
Vowel-Marshal Doggie has a quiet moment in the aft torpedo room. Stirring his outlandish cocktail, he reflects on the events of the last few days. The strains of 1983 with a Bullet - Various Artists can be heard through the bulkhead. The clink of glasses… Igor’s bad singing. Frau Wolf calling a toast. Ryoushi falling drunkenly into the avocado dip.
G’night Frau Wolf. Good night Wastrel. Goodnight John Boy. Goodnight thread. Goodnight Everyone.
{{{{{{despotic group hug}}}}}}}}
What? Me drink with you vowelish scum? Never! I’d rather be boiled in strawberry jam than sit down with the likes of you! I’d rather have my nose hairs chewed out by a rapid pitbull! I’d rather…
Sorry, is that peppermint schnapps?
[sub]Well, maybe just a little, then…[/sub]
Er…that should have read rabid pitbull.
Another glass of the same, please, bartender…
It looks like QXA has won, what with all the members of TVF dancing and partying all night we were able to burn down their headquarters, chloroform the guards and dogs, and steal the Colonials secret recipe for chicken. You would never think their building was so old and run down and KFC used rats. Oh wait, everyone knows that.
Ice Wolf, get a life. I’m looking for a life too. Really.
I think TVF stands for The Vowel Fratboys now. Weirdos.
The Great Zamboni — if you’re sore because your thread’s direction took a sudden, unpredictable and downright strange turn for the different – I’m sorry. It wasn’t my initial intention.
Actually, I had a life up until last December. I hope to be able to start living sometime later this year, all being well. I enjoy SDMB, and this thread. Other dopers came in and added their two cents to the thread, adding to The Vowel Fascists idea of mine which I simply put there spontaneously. Initial post related to “Q” being free of “U”. sigh
Your comment above saddens me. I’ll try to leave your threads alone next time. Again, you have my apologies.
Ice Wolf.
Well, I had fun.
Danke, Frau wolf.
You are most welcome, Herr General. Dammit, it was fun, and I shouldn’t let one line here get me down, right? Right.