The "Quantum Sleeper" - How stupid is this?

I wonder if they have an aftermarket Orgone Chamber add-on.

Of course, one runs the risk of “in bed no one can hear you scream.”

Thats Built in too.

You could just live in this thing.

Dude, ROBOTIC ARMS! If only it had wheels, or a clear visor to communicate to the outside world. I didn’t see anything about an emergency escape latch though.

Pft. That thing has nothing on my Cellular Regeneration and Entertainment Chamber[sup]®[/sup]. Accept no imitations!

Well…it’s a good invention for modern Vampires, who want to move past old-fashioned coffins.

I see it has a microphone on the outside with an amplifier so in the event of a biological/nuclear attack you can hear the screams of your loved ones.

Doesn’t anyone else miss the good old days, when lunatics just used to sleep in hyperbaric oxygen chambers to live to be 150?

Take away the bulletproof qualities and the frills, and you have an economy-sized hotel room!

Mass produce them and make a stackable model; one could turn them into homeless shelters or refugee housing. Just replace the wooden outer housing with plastic.

Rent them out at campgrounds and park sites.

(I remember reading that the Japanese are trying out just such a system.)

If anyone profits from these ideas, you owe me a dollar! :wink:

I don’t quite buy it, but it’s damn funny.

We cater for the tin-foil auto-asphyxiation voyeur in your life. Turn on the scrubbers! Be watched in your heroic low-oxygen bonkfest for ultimate survivalist triumph!

Will they make a model big enough for Michael Jackson’s slumber parties?


If you’re on a budget, you could get the QuantumLite sleeper:


The bolding was done by me.



From the same page:

How many times have I told you? NEVER turn on your comlink while Mommy and Daddy are having rough sex!

Of course, this leads to a new twist on a recent suspense thriller…

[melodramatic trailer voice over]

They weren’t safe.

-sound of breaking glass-

They were terrified.

-sounds of female whimpering with a loud scream-

They were prepared.

-sounds of pneumatics discharging air-

Jodie Foster and Ellen DeGeneres star in The Panic Bed.

DeGeneres voiceover: Did you remember the dental dams?

A Touchstone Production. This film not yet rated but soon will be protested bringing us the largest grosses for a movie since Princess Leia showed gratuitous nippleage in that slave costume.

[/melodramatic trailer voice over]

The ultimate answer for people who, as kids, wanted to take the mattresses off the bunk beds and build a fort.

This whole concept is not that stupid.But my idea is just to build very strong steel frame around the bed.In Earthqake prone California it might be usefull.I hate to die in my sleep or being crushed by debris.

You’d rather be stuck under tons of rubble? OK, they’d get you out eventually, but I hope for your sake that your DVD player survives the fall.

What I would worry about are criminals just loading the bed on the back of a truck and taking it with them to figure out how to open. That tear gas sprayer won’t work all day…

…provided none of these phenomena shut off the power, I guess:

What? No gun rack?

For that kind of money, I’ll find security in this type of box.

Why not just buy shotgun and end it all? :frowning: