The "Quantum Sleeper" - How stupid is this?

My wife pointed me at this site today for “The Quantum Sleeper”, a shelter/cocoon/bed contraption for the paranoid who think they will be killed in the their sleep.

To me, it looks like a hinged wooden box over top of a bed - supposedly lined with polycarbonate to protect you from bullets. Somehow, I think that if I locked myself inside my bed and some bad guys wanted to kill me, they’d figure out a way.

Anyway, I thought y’all might get a kick out of this.

Oh boy.

I find myself wondering if the name is something to do with Schroedinger’s cat - maybe you can’t die inside this until someone opens it and observes that you are dead.

Seriously though, it seems like it could cause just as many problems as it supposedly solves - I can imagine a few situations where you could get trapped inside.

It looks all the world to me like a coffin you climb into before you die.

What? You don’t all sleep in these already??! :eek:

I’ve been using my Quantum Sleeper® for three years now, and during this time I haven’t been raped by an elephant, run over by a Hummer, nor attacked by Mad Jack McMad, winner of the Maddest Man in Christendom Competition seven years’ running. You know it makes sense.

I wouldn’t get that for the main reason that I would conk my head when I wake up in the morning. That dvd/cd player and fridge is pretty nifty though.

I wonder how many of those they sell a year.

Personally, I think it’s super-cool. A bullet-proof bed? That makes you better than everybody!

I’m glad this wasn’t available when I was little. I can imagine my overprotective mother putting me in one… :eek:

WARNING: There is a non-zero chance that use of the Quantum Sleeper may cause a phenomenon known as “quantum tunneling”. The makers of the Quantum Sleeper are not responsible if you go to bed one night and wake up naked in a Thai rice field.

Does it have an optional foil lining?
Seriously though, are you supposed to sleep in the thing with it all closed up, or sleep in it open, only springing it shut when trouble hits?

I had this idea long time ago ,plus my bed was earthquake proofed.

Contains options for: CD Player, DVD screen with PC hookup, microwave, refrigerator, cell phones, CB, and shortwave radio.

Holy crap. I’d never have to get out of bed.

I’m laughing so hard I can barely type. This has got to be threadspotting material.

And you’d be peeing/pooping…where?

Never mind, I don’t really want to know.


GAAAAAAHHH!!! Don’t wanna know! Don’t wanna know!

How about adding to your set four wheels and engine ? Ultimate SUV.

Why don’t they just call it a Quantum Romertopf®? While you cower in fear inside it, your enemy installs hasps and locks, douses the room with his choice of handy accelerants, and then torches the place, leaving you to roast in bulletproof security.

Y’know, I appreciate that Amazon has a pretty standard template for all their pages and it does make things a lot simpler, but some items just shouldn’t have a “Order it used” button.