Chimera - just don’t do what I did to remove flies. I have a serious fear of flies. Some freak at spiders? With me, it’s flies. I know the origin, and that’s not important. What IS important is that you never use an older vaccuum to suck all the little bastards up, then go to bed, forgetting to unplug said vaccuum. Because in the middle of the night the vaccuum will explode, sending burnt rubber and itty bitty fly carcasses all over your living room. You will then have to clean it all up, sans vaccuum (of course), between alternating fits of gagging and barfing.
In Spain we say “Pharaoh’s public works” to refer to things which are either unnecessary, low priority or even against the interest of the people who’ll use that area, but which have been approved because they’re expected to “incentivate the local economy”. Bonus points when the companies doing the work are from not-around-here.
Ah, so you’re one of those whose “juvenile acne” will go away with her periods, too? Well, Mom’s did, I’m hoping mine will… 43 here
But labor day and thanksgiving day decorations are so boring compared to halloween!!! Who can blame them for putting Halloween up early. Hell… let’s get Christmas started!
Signing up for my oldest last year of rec basketball. He really wants to play and finish out his time … but if the same shit starts happening this year… that happened last year i won’t quietly sit down and take it. Last year he got called for a disproportionate number of fouls and pretty much was unable to really enjoy himself and play…
Only after the last game a female ref tells me that some of the other refs felt that he was bigger and better than the other kids and it wasn’t fair… Thanks… Thanks… nice to see ADULTS get together and collectively stick their heads in their asses.
Fuck you, brother-in-law, and fuck you too, sister-in-law. I’m one of the responsible ones, and now I get to pay for your mistakes too. I’m already doing it on a macro scale thanks to the housing bubble and the horrific economy, now I get to do it on a micro scale too.
Thanksgiving … falls BETWEEN now and Halloween? OK, I give up: where ARE you?
Now, my morbid curiosity reeeeally wants to know the “origin” of your fly-phobia. Feel like sharing?
Actually, they come with my period, thankyouverymuch. So I threw a tampon at you. A clean one, since I’m feeling generous. Pity you didn’t duck fast enough - check your hair in the mirror.
Shut. The. Fuck. Up.
Huh. I’d always heard it as “… eat a bowl of dick.” Singular, too, for some reason, but that’s the phrase I learned. Regionalism?
We now return you to your regularly-scheduled multi-quote courtesy of ShotFromGuns.
Grrr - I saw this ho. I wanted to punch her right in the tit. Look bitch, if your daughter is so special that she needs to go the montessori school, get up and drive her yourself you lazy entiteld twat.
Now, to my very mini rant. Back two minirant threads ago I groused about my suspicious mole. So, I went in, dude looked at it, said it looked OK but lets cut it out just in case.
So great, right? Mole gone, looks OK to expert, no worries! Except the hole where the mole used to be is healing really slowly, is right on the back of my leg and hurts like a mutherfucker everytime I sit down. Fricken, frackin, frick!:mad:
What the hell kind of tards do you live around that you need road closures for air show practices? I’m imagining people crashing their cars because LOOK MAW FLYIN’ MACHINES!!!
YES. SKIN, I AM NOT NOW NOR HAVE I EVER BEEN A 14-YEAR-OLD BOY. FIGURE THAT SHIT OUT.
That’s really retarded. There should be three levels of bus: Express, Semi-Express, and Local. Local serves every stop; Express serves a small number of major stops; and Semi-Express is somewhere in between. That way, people only have to ride the every-stop bus as far as the nearest Semi-Express or Express stop.
This idea shamelessly stolen from the trains I rode every day when I was going to school in Tokyo.
Welp, there go 90% of the things in this thread.
Sooooo you know that all really hardcore gamers use corded mouses, right? Better response than you get off a wireless. Also, if the cord on your mouse is getting in your way… ur doin it worng.
Ultimately, I blame Christmas. Thanksgiving isn’t a great marketing holiday; what do you decorate with? Turkeys, cornucopias, and pilgrim hats. Booorrring. It can be ignored by marketing departments because everyone who wants a nice cornucopia already has one. But Christmas, now THERE’s a decoration extravaganza! Santa, angels, presents, trees, snowmen, creches; you name it, you can design one for Christmas as long as it’s red and green and covered with glitter. And the homemade projects! The sales have to begin by September so that all the crafty cathies can finish crocheting that 6x9 tapestry of a little church in a field with a star above it and Peace on Earth emblazoned across the sky (which isn’t all that different from the one they made 15 years ago but they can’t put that one up because it looks dated: the pinks are kinda peachy and the pine trees are too teal-ish; it was the one they made to replace the one their moms made 35 years ago, where the yellows were too mustard-y and the greens were too avocado-y. But, you know, the lovely chocolate browns and drop shadow effect on this one will NEVER go out of style!)
But then there’s Halloween. Another potential marketing monster, with witches and ghosts and mummies and haunted houses and spiders (and, lately, space aliens. WTF do space aliens have to do with Halloween and the supernatural?) so it cannot be sidelined by Christmas sales. And customers had started to complain loudly. “Christmas sales?? Why, it’s not even Halloween yet! What about Halloween?” It was too late; the Christmas season had already been established, so the only solution is to start Halloween sales in July and August. And it’s a winner; the traditional Halloween colors have been expanded from the black and orange I knew when I was a kid to include green, at first, and now purple. And oddly, glitter. Lots of glitter. And so it starts, “Halloween? It’s not even Labor Day yet!” I envision a near future in which stores carry displays of red and pink and yellow and indigo blue glittery items decorated with hearts and people gripe, “Valentine’s Day? WTF it’s not even Christmas yet!” and we all come full circle.
I read it first here, myself. Some poster a couple of years ago capped off an otherwise good but run-of-the-mill rant a couple years ago with the signoff “Eat a bag of dicks” (the way Shodan uses “Regards”) and it received deserved praise and still pops up in use occasionally.
When I was around 6 years old, my family drove to a relative’s farm. I had fallen asleep in the car, and my parents did not want to wake me up. When I did wake up, I was all alone in a very strange place (had never been on a farm). I got out of the car, did that sleep stumble up to the black farm door.
Holy shit. I hadn’t even noticed it, consciously, but you’re right!
I wept.
Confidential to the lady in the stall next to me:
My God, woman. Those sounds - and smell - are not natural. What did you eat and/or what medication are you on, so I can avoid it/them?
Solution: Bring it to work, and leave it on your desk while you’re at lunch. When you return, accuse Shredder Guy of busting it, and make him buy you a new one.
I distinctly remember my fly-phobia. I was like 6 or 7 when we went to visit some cousins I had never seen before (and haven’t seen since) in the country. Their entire house was infested with flies. We sat down to dinner at the table and they were all over everything. I complained bitterly and was told to shut up so as not to insult them. :rolleyes:
Years after that, I lived on a farm. I would entertain myself when I was seriously bored by going out to the horse barn with a flyswatter. My dad would tell me that I wasn’t going to make a dent in their numbers, but I totally did.
Hell, I still do some of that. I had a fruit fly infestation in my apartment last week. I hunted and killed over 200 of them in 3 days and now I have like one or two random ones here and there.
Best way to take out that many fruit flies? Wet your hands. Then lather with liquid soap. Snatch the fruitflies out of the air - they’ll get stuck in the soap on your hands. Smushie shooshie, just to be sure. The soap dries out in about 5 minutes, just have a tap drizzling a bit waiting so you can wash off the dead flies and replenish the wet and the soap.
Someday soon, Chimera, I’ll have occasion to try out your tip. I anticipate thanking my anonymous internet friend(s) yet again, while Mr. Horseshoe looks on with a bemused expression.
I went to the cardiologist’s office to see if I ought to have a treadmill test because of chest pains I’ve been having. I was informed to bring with me all medications I take, which I did. An intern sat down with me and looked carefully at each med and entered its name and dosage into my computer chart, which took awhile because she was being careful and attentive to detail.
It turns out I do need a treadmill test, and the test takes place right there in the same cardiologist’s office. In the printout of prep instructions, they request me to bring a list of all meds I take. I called them and asked:
“Is this really necessary? Your intern worked hard to accurately list them all in my chart so you have it already.”
The snotty receptionist said
“Well, the techs who do the test are different people from us.”
Me: “The treadmill room is three steps from your desk. Could you please print out the list from my chart and I’ll hand it to them?”
Her: “moansigh oookaaay.”
Stoopid bint. Last I checked, computers were there to save the unnecessary duplication of work.
“Well… Maybe I should reconsider working with your office. You are obviously not competent enough to do your basic job functions since I have already provided that information and you seem to be either incapable of retrieving it from your computer, or uninterested in doing it.”
Rant the first: when the hell is TXDOT, or whoever is responsible, going to finish the repaving work on the Beltway 8 Feeder between Imperial Valley and West Hardy? They ripped it all up a couple years ago, started laying concrete, and than sometime in late 2010, just stopped. I haven’t seen anyone working on it in months, and meanwhile the place is a parking lot in the mornings due to lane restrictions, not to mention the temporary pavement that one has to travel on is turning into a moonscape of potholes.
Rant the second: Tropical Depression 13, you tease. You’re going to dump a foot of rain on New Orleans but can’t spare an inch or two for Houston? Bitch.
OK, I give up: where ARE you?
Also, if the cord on your mouse is getting in your way… ur doin it worng.