Tonight is Halloween and I’m scared. Of what?
Not bin Laden, not Anthrax, not of going to the mall, not of flying across the country. :rolleyes:
I’m afraid of the Roaming Gangs of Teenagers (RGTs) who will TERRORIZE me this evening for free candy handouts.
I don’t mind the little kids. They’re cute and usually escorted by parents who are watching it all very closely. Hopefully the parents with young children will go out tonight early, so at least I won’t “spend” all the “good” candy on the hoodlums. (Note: My dog hates them all, but that’s her job: to attempt to scare off intruders. Given that she’s a 25 pound Boston Terrier, her attempts are laughable. That and the fact that, if she actually caught someone, she’d just lick 'em to death. :D)
It’s the teenagers, sans costumes, who are far too old to be out trick or treating. I’m single, small in stature, live alone, am white and female and have a sporty red car in the driveway. I could look like I might have money – to a teenager, anyway. I do not live in the best neighborhood in town. In fact, I’m just a few short blocks away from CrackTown USA. These kids roam from their neighborhood into mine, carrying plastic grocery bags, intimidating me into giving them candy. They’re loud, they’re threatening and I give them candy!
I considered leaving the house tonight and hanging out with some friends. I’m even more afraid of what might go on if I’m not here to give out candy. Egg the house? Break a window, steal my black cat and torture it to death? Worse? If I did that, I’d have to bring the dog with me, as she might bust through a window with dozens of RGTs approaching the house. My animals will not spend Halloween unattended.
I considered turning off the porch light and hiding from the hoodlums. See “leaving the house.” My car is in the driveway, they’ll KNOW I’m home and who knows what might set 'em off?
Last year, one of my neighbors WAS home and gave the hoodlums candy. They didn’t like what he gave them, so they threw a brick through his front window. Cops were called and hilarity ensued.
My only choice, I think, is to sit here and pass out candy to anyone who knocks on my door this evening. Like, on any other day, I’d just give shit away to anyone who shows up at my doorstep.
It just pisses me off that I’m prisoner to my favorite holiday. I love Halloween, trick or treating, costumes, the whole bit. But must I feel obligated to hand out sweets to some little no necked fucking monsters who DON’T love the holiday? They did nothing to prepare for it. They didn’t put on costumes, or masks, or offer to take a neighbor’s little kids out for the parents or anything cool like that. They just picked up grocery bags and headed out into the streets.
We have sent our soldiers to the wrong place. They are hunting the wrong terrorists. Come back over here and track down these damn gangs, willya? These are the Real Terrorists for me tonight.