This falls into the theatrical-release category, but I think it’s worthy of mention: I got a few chuckles out of Woody Allen’s Broadway Danny Rose (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0087003/), but I’ll be the first to admit it’s the worst Woody Allen movie I’ve ever seen, and my brother still thinks Allen owes him for those two hours out of his life.
It’s my personal theory that as they make more Police Academy sequels, and each sequel gets less and less funny, eventually they will start to get more serious, become fraught with tragedy and steeped in metaphor. Eventually the Aristotelian Unities will assert themselves, and the actors will take on a stern demeanor. By Police Academy XXXIV, the series will be considered high drama and deep intellectual fodder. Police Academy XXXV will be praised for gritty realism, and will subsequently win the academy award for best screenplay. Police Academy XXXVI will only be released to art houses, where expresso swilling sophists will stand in the lobby afterwards, debating how the script marginalizes Emile Durkheim’s theory of the relationship between societal development and homicide. (Except for the really cool part where the guys head explodes.)
Anyway, that’s what I think’s going to happen. Ignore Police Academy and risk intellectual depreciation.
No mention of 1970’s Hercules in New York? Arnold’s first film and he got second billing status underneath Arnold Stang as “Arnold Strong, Mr. Universe.” It’s deliciously bad, so bad it’s a real knee-slapper. Low budget enough to satisfy Reeder’s requirement. Here’s a link: Arnold’s pathetic first film
Troma’s very first release was Redneck Zombies . It is utterly without redeeming features. I only watched it because a friend of mine starred in it and in retrospect that wasn’t a good enough reason.
All concerned parties were still learning their craft, of course, although the director never went on to anything better than some Toxic Avenger sequels.
Especially in France! 
Every Batman Joel Schumacker did!
“Holy rusted metal batman!”
Bring on Batnab Begins!
‘Batnab’?! :dubious:
(Stupid right hand)
In my own experience of bad movies, which I have in abundance, my vote for absolute worst goes to Plan Nine from Outer Space. Predictable, perhaps, but there is a reason why that film is often mentioned as the worst film ever made. I’ve never really seen anything else like it: the unbelievably bad unspecial effects, bad sets, bad acting, bad plot, bad script – from beginning to end, Plan 9 is bad, abysmally bad.
Actually, when I think about it, it’s worse than bad. It gives the word “bad” a completely new meaning. I don’t think a person really can understand the concept of bad in all its fullness if he/she hasn’t seen Plan 9. I mean, I thought I knew what “bad” was, but until I’d seen that film, well, I simply didn’t. I remember that I left the theater in a sort of state of shock after seeing that movie. There’s was this feeling in the pit of my stomach, and I was thinking, “Oy… so that’s bad. Now I get it.” Still, it took me a few days to really grok how truly bad that movie was. I would find myself, suddenly, shuddering, while doing the dishes, or washing my clothes, as some piece of that movie would return to me unexpectedly – like the scene with Bella Lugosi sneaking into the house, followed by the chiropracter stand-in chasing the heroine around her bedroom (from whom she escapes), followed by the scene of Bella Lugosi exiting the house. :shudder: You have to see it to believe it.
Still, there are a lot of other really, really bad movies out there. I recommend HPL’s link to badmovies.org some very entertaining reading. Like:
Cannibal Women in the Avacado Jungle of Death – starring Shannon Tweed!
The Curse of Count Chocula! WTF?
Frankenhooker. 'Nuff said.
Drunken Wu Tang. Includes the infamous Watermelon Monster.
Howling III: The Marsupials. The marsupials?
Redneck Zombies.
…and others too numerous to mention.
Yes, that one was really bad. And just when you thought it couldn’t get worse…yep, it did.
For some straight to video idiocy, try Moontrap. On second thought…Don’t.
Tough Guys Don’t Dance has one unintentionally hilarious scene with Ryan O’Neal: “Oh God…Oh man…Oh God…Oh man…Oh God…Oh man…Oh God…Oh Man…Oh God!” (No, he was not in bed with anyone at the time.)
Other than that, it is not to be watched.
I never got past the first five minutes or so of Judge Dredd. Was I right to stop the tape?
I’m glad I’m not the only one who thought it sucked. I kept saying “Wait. it’s supposed to make him invisible, not give him super powers!”
I found Body Double to be one of the most irritating pieces of crap that I’ve had to endure. Bill Maher-lookalike Craig Wasson gives an extraordinarily obnoxious and wimpy lead performance and very hit-or-miss director Brian DePalma wallows in his worst excesses, including preposterous and gory murders and very lame Hitchcock ripoffs.
It’s just the kind of movie I love hating and insulting.
I know some people actually like this one (although it’s a mystery to me), but I’ll nominate Signs anyway. I hated hated hated this movie. It’s dumb from start to finish. It’s like a parody of itself. It’s a series of glaring plot holes stitched together with stupid sappiness. It doesn’t make a lick of sense anywhere.
It felt even worse than it is to me when I saw it, because a) I saw it in a movie theatre, paying good money for it and b) I expected a whole lot more after having seen and loved Sixth Sense and Unbreakable.
I haven’t seen it, but Monsturd looks like it might fit the bill.
:eek:
Hysterical doesn’t really count toward the purposes of this list, since I believe it did enjoy a limited theatrical release and it actually has some recognizable faces in it (a quite surprising number, really), but no list of bad movies would be complete without it. Filmed in 1983, starring the Hudson Brothers (“Who?” you ask. Exactly.), this film is a “comedy” (scare quotes definitely apply here) that attempts to parody an assortment of late '70s horror films, from Jaws to The Exorcist. However, whereas most bad genre parodies simply hurt to the point where you avert your eyes, Hysterical has a more insidious effect: its ensemble cast of mostly B-level actors hypnotizes you into submission with their uniformly bizarre and eccentric performances. Watching these familiar Hollywood faces goofing and mugging is sort of like coming across an old Super-8 reel of your various relatives whooping it up for the camera at a drunken wedding reception. It’s intensely embarrassing, yet oddly compelling at the same time, and before you know it you’ve found a little place in your heart for Hysterical. I love this movie.
No strangers to those of us who used to watch The Hudson Brothers Show on CBS. Bill Hudson is the father of actress Kate Hudson.
I dunno. It actually appears to be, all things considered, a pretty good flick. I mean, check out these beaming reviews:
“Lord knows, the last thing you should do is “pooh, pooh” this piece of work.”
-Charles McDermid, St. Helena Star
“It’s hard not to come out in support of a movie about a giant, man-eating poop monster that terrorizes the chili-chomping population of an innocent small town.”
-Cheryl Eddy, San Francisco Bay Guardian
“It’s the best made really disgusting movie I’ve ever seen. I loved it.”
-Dave Friedman
“Monsturd kicks almost all other horror movies on their fat, bloody asses. You’ll never use your toilet again."
-Jasper, The Poop Report
God-awful? Seems to me this movie is a regular, bowl-you-over, running-away hit. Gotta love the indy movement!
“No thanks! We’re tryyyyying to cut down.”
The Magic Christian. Self-indulgent, faux-psychedelic crap. How so many talented people could be convinced to be the corn kernels in this enormous turd is a mystery to me.
I saw it as a child with my family at the drive-in. I’ve seen it again in the past few years & while all the above is true, it does have it’s moments (come on, Peter Sellers & Ringo Starr are in it! G)
It’s better than CANDY- Holy God, that sucked!