Find one of their pretensions self titled “Mac gurus,” then with a good right hook break one of his orbital bones. Tell him “Yeah, don’t bother getting that fixed. That’s just a cosmetic issue!”
Pain is bad. I suggest morphine. If it doesn’t make the pain go away immediately, take another dose, and repeat as necessary.
I’m editing a large amount of text by people with only the most basic grasp on the English language, and it’s starting to make my head spin.
Here’s what I did in the same situation. Beg your client to let you rewrite it. Offer to even do it for free, if necessary. When your clients rejects your offer, you’ll be free to treat the editing assignment as simple proofreading. You’ll finish much faster and your head won’t hurt nearly as much.
My Apple iPhone keeps dropping calls. Clearly it can’t be the phone’s fault, as Apple would never release a bad product. What can I do?
Obviously you are too stupid to use a cell phone. Toss it into the garbage and never, ever try to use one again. You could destroy the entire cell phone community forever!
I woke up with a dead body in my bed and panicked. I put it into my car’s trunk and sort of forgot about it till this morning. However, that was a month ago and we’ve had 90 degree heat. When I opened the trunk, the smell knocked me over. I got rid of the body, but the trunk still stinks something awful! What do I do?
Douse liberally with Axe body spray. You’ll be able to sell the car as new.