I have to agree, that responsibility does fall on you, not him.
Using labor and childbirth as a justifcation is not appropiate, you both knew what you were getting into, and knew the gender roles ahead of time.
I suggest before anything is done you both see a councler, both together and individiual;y - there may be bigger issues involved and you would like to get them out in the open before anything irreversable is done.
i totally agree. if he takes enough, he won’t care if he has balls or not.
when i had my wisdom teeth out, the oral surgeon put a glucose drip in my arm & tied it to the chair. “how does that feel?” “kinda uncomfortable” [puts needle in tube] “you’re not going to care in about 10 seconds.” 3… 2… 1… “I DON’T CARE NOW! TAKE MY WHOLE HEAD OFF!”
Having been on the reluctant side, I think that you are reading far more into this than there likely is. Look at the OP. The husband mostly agrees that a vasectomy is the thing to do, but he is needle nervous. He wants to go through with it, but nature tells him that intentionally paying money to have someone cut your scrotum open with a knife is a bad thing. So he hasn’t got around to doing it. I still say that if the wife makes the appointment, the husband will go and all will be well.
The operation is not that big of a deal. Mine was like 20 min from first shave to last stitch. Was no worse than getting a cavity filled. The operation is hyped up way more than it needs to be. There is no way that tubal ligation, even with laproscopic means, can be less painful than a vasectomy. Really, other than removing a skin lesion, I can’t see how any surgical procedure could possibly be any more straightforward. Our guys are just hanging out there like grapes begging to be cut from the vine. Skin slice, find vas, slice the sheath, cut the vas, burn the end, stitch the hole. I’d rather do that again instead of going in and getting a plantars wart frozen off my foot in a few weeks.
Excellent suggestions, all. I liked what you said about the light general anaesthetic, irishgirl. We have considered having it done with him under general - it would make me feel a lot better knowing that it would be light, and (presumably) less risky than a heavier anaesthetic.
scoob, I see you found the Calgary Dopefest thread. Do you still want an email?
But surgery, like a lot of other medical decisions, isn’t conducted in a bubble. Very often there are all sorts of other considerations outside of a simple analysis of risks and benefits.
Most men who have the procedure done have it done to help their partners. Her contributions to their childbearing choices should certainly be considered. Especially if the alternative is making HER go under the knife.
Actually being pregnant is worse than birth control in certain circumstances. A condom is used once and thrown away. A properly used diaphram or IUD is certainly less cumbersome than throwing up every day for six weeks or forty eight hours of labor.
Again most men aren’t making this decision in a vacuum. They’re doing it for the benefit of their partners. It’s hardly irrational for a partner to point out that having gone through the ordeal of pregnancy and childbirth he should help out in the birth control department.
If she’s gone through the often difficult ordeal of pregnancy and labor frankly he certainly sounds childish to complain about the prospect of a little needle and a day or two of discomfort.
And I don’t agree with your apparent belief that a woman asking her husband to have a vasectomy because she had children is childish. Other than to completely minimize the physical toll pregnancy and childbearing take on her body you still haven’t explained why this argument is “lame.”
Most men aren’t having vasectomies so they can screw around with whoever they please. They’re having vasectomies to help their wives. Why shouldn’t the wife’s contribution to their childbearing choices factor into that decision?
On further reading it appears I slightly misread her OP.
It still doesn’t bolster your hint that a man should not take his wife’s medical and child bearing history into consideration when deciding about a vasectomy.
You’re kind of contradicting yourself here. If you’re for the big V, and believe it “reasonable” why is “crappy” for a woman to point out that she’s already suffered physically from childbirth and perhaps it’s his turn now?
That quote should have read procreation choices. Happy now?
featherlou I just wanted to apologize for unintentionally hijacking your thread.
If anyone wants to discuss the issue of who should get a vasectomy and under what circumstances I will not respond unless that person starts a separate thread.
My best wishes to your husband. 
Featherlou,
If you decide to go for it, the most excellent Calgary Birth Control Association: http://www.cbca.ab.ca/… they have a listing of docs willing to perform the procedure of the vasectomy. I’m a terrible doper, but I haven’t had a chance to read all the replies. Anyway, the scalpeless procedure, according to the counsellor I saw, is really not a big deal. The nurse I talked to said some men get it done over lunch (!!!).
If I had a penis, I’d do it in an instant.
Last comment from me to end the hijack.
Actually I’m not, I had never offered any opinion of the effacy or the practicality of getting a V. I have not offered an opinion on any choices the OP made, nor commented on the safety and implications of the procedure. All that is off my point.
All I’m saying, and all that is relevant to the hijack, is that using “because I gave birth” is a low way to try and get what you want. It disrespects the importance of what it is. The sense of entitlement it echos is the type of emotion I find really off-putting. It implies you expect compensation for your suffering. Having children was a choice you made together (usually) and having and raising a child creates myraid hardships for both parties, none of which should be exploited.
I’m guessing having children was something you really wanted. Something you consider to be the high point of your life. To play the “well I gave birth to a child” card in a situation like this would really piss me off if I were in that situation, regardless of how I felt about getting the V.
If you don’t agree, that’s fine, it’s between you and your husband.
A simple suggestion which helps me a lot at the dentist. Close your eyes early on in the procedure, before numbing even, so you don’t see the needles. Focus completely on something else. Have the doctor let you know when he’s done.
If the urologist is anything like mine was, he will insist on a consulation with both of you present to make sure that the procedure is agreed to all the way around. In addition, he’ll educate Mr. Lou quite well.
I had the snip done about 10 years ago. There are only two uncomfortable moments during the procedure and they last about 5 seconds each; after that, the local has kicked in and at best, he’ll feel some pushing and prodding, but no pain.
It’s best to have it done on a Friday so he can spend the weekend with ice packs as needed. My urologist said it was strongly advisable to not have unprotected sex until I had had about 10 orgasms to clean the last of the stragglers out; if you were to assist Mr. Lou in achieveing that goal, I’m sure he would be VERY appreciative. 