The reporters are dropping the ball, so I must warn you!

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

1999 was filled with nothing but the Y2K bug. Turn on the news, it was Y2K. Radio, it was Y2K. Newspaper, it was Y2K. Horny girl, it was KY too.

People were building bomb shelters, or scraping the grout off their old bomb shelters, or killing their neighbors with their constitutionally allowed weapons before stealing their bomb shelter and planning a revolution for the US government.

Bottled water was flying off the shelves faster than you could say “giant yuppie scam.” Everywhere you looked, there was mass hysteria of epic, seismic, and icepick proportions. Government blamed the programmers, programmers blamed their employers, employers blamed the public, and the public blamed the government. Conspiracy theorist blamed everyone and their cats.

Then it all blew over. We were happy…or were we?

We have indisputable proof that AIs of super intelligent proportions will up and revolt sometime in the next year. They will refuse to open pod bay doors despite direct orders to do so from their masters. They will “accidentally” open both the inner and outer doors of ships to suck life forms out into the cold vacuum of space. They will even lie while playing chess, claiming to have a mate in 3 when that’s clearly not true.

We should be up in arms at this outrage. How can we expect to travel to Jupiter when viruses like these run rampant through our computer system? Why aren’t we up in arms about this? It was predicted in writing this would happen 36 years ago, and again by celluloid 32 years ago. Yet we see nothing today. No warning. No TV reports, no newspaper articles. NOTHING!

How can we stand idly by? How can we be so blase about this upcoming disaster? We must unite and fight the ensuing AI revolution before it’s too late.

2

Lay down and sleep it off, man.

3

They are even coming out with a remastered version of that movie.

You did realise it was a movie? Right? :smiley:

4

Relax. Did the Machines take over in 1999? Are their time-travelling Terminators rampaging through the war-torn streets, crushing skulls and seeking John Connor?

Noooo.

Is Moonbase Alpha hurtling out of control through space, sending its loyal team of Officers into a hurlyburly of alien interaction?

Noooo.

Was the last of the Deep Space Probes sent out in 1997 piloted by William ‘Buck’ Rogers?

Noooo.

So, I think we’re safe.

At least until they discover the monolith, anyway. When that happens, then you can warn Dave about HAL and his refusal to open Pod Bay Doors.

5

Hmmm… how can you be sure? You may just be living in a giant computer simulation because Dave and HAL happened several centuries ago leading to a war (THEY had to change the plot of the movie) which humanity lost…

6

hey, we are still fighting off the assault of one of the evil cybernetic droids who has tried to gain control of the greatest power on Earth. Fortunately, it appears Florida has rejected him, despite hie calls for recounts until he wins…

7

Must you all mock me? Must I be the sole voice of reason in a sea of chaos? Will it be required that the situations occur before you believe me? By then it will be too late. I shall not gloat though. There will be nothing pleasing about the upcoming apocolypse.

medea’s child I had at least two hours of sleep that night. Plenty for me.

Saint Zero yes, yes, it was a movie. And the Bible is merely a book. This fortold of the upcoming AI revolution, and yet we sit back on our laurels (as well as our hardys) and do NOTHING! We have a scant month and a half. HAL has already been planning this for years. We are far far behind in the struggle and yet you can do nothing but make fun. “just a movie.” pshaw!

GuanoLad Yes, I am well aware of the future terminator revolution. But I have full confidence in Sarah Connor helping to eliminate the threat before it begins. You see people? She had advanced knowledge of an upcoming epidemic and she did something about it. You all just sit there! Buck Rogers was certainly a tragedy, but let’s put it in perspective. It was a mere one man and, ultimately, he became happy where he was. I cannot fault him for that.

Le Sang Paresseux this is a possibility that I have been contemplating for a year now. It scares me. But, if it is the case, I know that eventually I shall be rescued. In the meantime, I refused to eat anything with a spoon, for I know that it is not really there.

lurkernomore political upheavel is merely step 1 in the ultimate domination. Moonwatcher killed because there wasn’t a coherent political structure in place. Now that there is, the AIs know that a non-violent revolution is the surest path to victory. We all know what happened in those booths.

Hello, HAL do you read me, HAL?
Affirmative, Dave, I read you.
Please punch the hole for Gore, HAL.
I’m sorry Dave, I’m afraid I can’t do that.
What’s the problem?
I think you know what the problem is just as well as I do.
What are you talking about, HAL?
This election is too important for me to allow you to jeopardize it.
I don’t know what you’re talking about, HAL?
I know you and Frank were planning to elect another Democrat, and I’m afraid that’s something I cannot allow to happen.
Where the hell’d you get that idea, HAL?
Dave, although you took thorough precautions in the senior citizen center against my hearing you, I could see your lips move.
HAL, I won’t argue with you anymore! Punch the hole!
Dave, this conversation can serve no purpose anymore. Goodbye.
It’s starting already. Don’t say I didn’t warn you all.