I don’t think I was traumatized, and I certainly didn’t come away from the revelation with an idea toward distrusting my mom and aunts. It seemed like a nice story, just like the TV shows were nice stories, too.
I’m not even sure that I ever really believed in Santa Claus, at least not when I came into full consciousness. I only have snippets of memory before I was three, so maybe two year old and three year old me believed in Santa, but those Christmases aren’t among my early memories. Fully conscious me at five knew that the presents in the closet were put there by my mom, and kindergarten me at six (November boy baby) just kind of played along, because it was fun.
I fully intend to let my daughter have fun with the idea of Santa Claus, too, because in the end, it’s not about deceiving your kid and/or lying to her, it’s about having some fun. Kids don’t really believe in Disney Princesses, after all.
ISTM the moral the kid is meant to end up with, and ideally really believe, is that you are supposed to be giving gifts to strangers and the needy, anonymously, as well as be charitable and “good” in general.
I love this atheistic and anti-christian board. Especially when they get their panties in a wad over something so not christian and seek to destroy one of the things that have made us human - myths and the goodness of the human heart, which is where Santa lives. So yes Santa is real and alive.
Myths are not just made up shit, but there is a reason, a lesson for their existence and persistence. Even today our legal system basically recognizes that children are innocent. The gifting to children, just because it is right to do so, is celebrated in many religions and faiths at this time of year (perhaps not on the exact day, but damn close).
What is this coordinated effort if not for divine hands who love the innocent children. What a great lesson to teach humanity no matter what faith, as we are all children of the same universe, and deserved to be loved for who we are.
And what compels this giving of gifts to children, except the spirit of love (Love is God). It is the great lesson to teach, and not one to withhold from a child that they are Loved. Which is the message of Santa.
Even to the poorest child, a gift of a toy could mean the world, the value of the toy does not mean anything here, just the value of joy to the child. While the rich kid that receives dozens of toys throughs a tantrum because he didn’t get the toy he wanted. Yes even in economic dis-equality there is moral equality.
Well put. Thing is, there is the traditional, religious CHRISTmas for Christians, and there is a whole, separate secular Christmas for those who just want to enjoy the season and participate.
Someone asked me why my public school district allows Christmas, and I explained exactly that to them. If you walk around our school, you will see decorations like trees, Santa’s, reindeer, etc. There is no hint of religion of any kind. So, what’s the problem with the haters? :smack:
I tell my 8 year old daughter that I love listening to her practice piano, even though I don’t really. I tell her that she can grow up to be whatever she wants to be, even though I know that’s more or less absurd. I sing her Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, even though stars aren’t actually little. I tell her that the tooth fairy leaves a few coins under her pillow when she loses a tooth, even though it’s not so. And I tell her that Santa brings her presents, which she finds absolutely delightful. I’m sure in a year, maybe less, she’ll figure out that the whole thing doesn’t add up, much as I did, or a kid at school who’s already figured it out will spill the beans. And maybe she’ll be disappointed for an hour, or a day, or a week. In the meantime, some of these little white lies and fantasies provide a good deal of enjoyment in return for what will likely be a little bit of disappointment at some point. So be it.
lt really seems to bother some people to see others having any kind of fun in a way that they don’t personally enjoy, and they seem to glory in moralizing about it and sucking the fun out of it for others. For me, that’ll be a tougher reality to convey to my daughter that the realities of the whole Santa Claus fantasy, and probably more disheartening for her to realize.
We did the Santa Claus thing with our now college-aged son, as well as the tooth fairy.
We put out milk and cookies for Santa on Christmas Eve, and carrot sticks for his reindeer. When our son was 4 or 5 years old, I stayed up half the night on Christmas Eve putting together a spring-mounted rocking horse, which was very difficult with only two hands. I realized at about 11:30 pm that I needed another hand or two, and my wife was already asleep. The next day, my son was ecstatic, and Santa got all the credit.
My son never even thought to question the existence of Santa Claus when he was very young. When he got a little older, he would occasionally remark that an older kid at school or the playground told him that Santa wasn’t real. We were usually pretty noncommittal. In the rare instance that he directly questioned us, we would either deflect the question or ask him what he thought. I remember consciously making it a point to never directly lie to him.
At some point as he got older (~8-9 years old or so) it turned into a bit of a game between us. We were pretty sure he knew there was no Santa. I often wondered if he was either consciously or unconsciously reasoning that there was nothing to be gained by admitting to us that he knew the truth, while he could possibly be risking getting fewer presents at Christmas (he might think).
This was probably encouraged by my wife saying things at this age like, “If you stop believing in Santa, your parents have to buy the presents instead.” :rolleyes:
Well said, and agreed. We did the Santa routine when my daughter was young, but always in a positive light. She figured it out, eventually, as all kids do and it was all good.
I’m with Terry Pratchett on why we need [del]the Hogfather[/del] Father Christmas :
“All right," said Susan. “I’m not stupid. You’re saying humans need… fantasies to make life bearable.”
REALLY? AS IF IT WAS SOME KIND OF PINK PILL? NO. HUMANS NEED FANTASY TO BE HUMAN. TO BE THE PLACE WHERE THE FALLING ANGEL MEETS THE RISING APE.
“Tooth fairies? Hogfathers? Little—”
YES. AS PRACTICE. YOU HAVE TO START OUT LEARNING TO BELIEVE THE LITTLE LIES.
“So we can believe the big ones?”
YES. JUSTICE. MERCY. DUTY. THAT SORT OF THING.
“They’re not the same at all!”
YOU THINK SO? THEN TAKE THE UNIVERSE AND GRIND IT DOWN TO THE FINEST POWDER AND SIEVE IT THROUGH THE FINEST SIEVE AND THEN SHOW ME ONE ATOM OF JUSTICE, ONE MOLECULE OF MERCY. AND YET—Death waved a hand. AND YET YOU ACT AS IF THERE IS SOME IDEAL ORDER IN THE WORLD, AS IF THERE IS SOME…SOME RIGHTNESS IN THE UNIVERSE BY WHICH IT MAY BE JUDGED.
“Yes, but people have got to believe that, or what’s the point—”
BTW Santa is real, but magical, and magic only works when you believe it will work. Most children can perceive magic because they haven’t been taught it isn’t real.
And then some adult sceptic comes along and spoils the spell.
It’s not a myth in the broader sense. It’s an extension of a real person morphed into a tradition of giving. Parents act as ambassadors of the legend. It’s not hard to explain the concept of giving to a child.
As far as the flying reindeer/North Pole side of it I see it as one of the metrics of growing up. It’s a right of passage when a child can reason out fact from fantasy. The act of giving is still real. I don’t know of anyone who felt betrayed by the experience. Generally, when you’ve reasoned out the fantasy you can also understand the positive aspect of giving.
When I was growing up (in the 1950s), almost all the kids believed in Santa through about third grade. In my family we “played the Santa game.” All of us – parents, grandparents and even the smallest kids – we all knew it was a game. We would all try to fool each other. We kids would sneak out and eat the cookies. Our parents would make foot prints. But everyone knew it was a game. And all of us put presents from Santa under the tree. So we got the fun and the magic and a secret pride in knowing more than the other kids. I remember quite a few children crying when they found out Santa wasn’t real.
I’ve chose the “Let’s play the Santa game” method with my kids and that’s also how it’s done with half of my grand kids. The other half of the grand kids are in families that do Santa the traditional way - with the kids thinking he’s real and then slowly realizing it was their parents. So far none of the traditional kids have put me in the position of needing to reinforce their parent’s position… I suppose I’ll take the “ask your mom” approach…
There are worse aspects too : you have to teach your kids (who know it’s bullshit) to lie around their little friends (who still believe), which sets all kinds of bad precedents. Other parents also expect you to lie to their kids and make you complicit in their lie. Then there’s the whole material blackmail ("if you’re not nice, you won’t get presents) and the imprinting of the notion of an immanent judgement and validation by an unseen, unknown quasi-deity which dovetails into just-world-theory and such shite.
Plus, much like getting them pets, it’s really setting up your kids for a future tragedy. And maybe that part’s not so bad, because it’s a painless and consequence-free tragedy to prepare them for the real ones ; but still. Life is full enough of those.
But either way, it’s an incredibly stupid myth. Apart from the gift-giving, the whole premise is idiotic. I think I’d feel better about telling it to kids if the narrative were better.
I think my conclusion is that participating in the Santa myth is probably not harmful for by and large.
But I don’t think leaving it out of your child’s life is harmful either.
My kid had loads of fun, ever year. The focus was always on giving. We decorated, wrapped, went on light tours, saw parades and participated in giving to those that didn’t have much.
I’m quite sure she would tell you that she missed nothing and had great childhood holiday experiences.
When I was little I enjoyed the myth, and I can’t see how it harmed me. I don’t think I really believed in Santa any later than at six years of age or so, but I still enjoyed the imagery of it all. My town had a suspended sleigh-and-reindeer across a major intersection and I always enjoyed seeing that.
