Rotate your tires. 
Ooh, I like that one. Can we be exempt from Gaudere’s Law, too?
And I still want a Straight Dope t-shirt. What good is being a Charter Member of a [del]secret cabal[/del] public message board if I can’t advertise it?
At any given moment, your dog is subject to burning, for no reason whatsoever.
Jizz in a fishtank is considered neither animal abuse nor beastiality.
As well you should be, you 'orrible little man! Causing schisms all over the board.
There will be urine-sammich eating mods. And they will wear underoos and jackboots.
When reveling in the delights of badgers and mushrooms, always be on the lookout for snakes.
presses face against the window, peering inside
We, the Charter Members of the SDMB, do hold these truths to be self-evident, that we shall champion and defend against all decree, opposition or clamour, in the spirit of devotion to the holy non-hi-Opal trinity of Cecil the all-knowing, Og the all-conquering and Pie the all-satisfying:
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That we shall fight ignorance, and ignorance shall be fought, and the fighting of ignorance shall be ongoing until there is ignorance no more, and steadfast shall the fighting of the ignorance be, except in those cases where we actually like the ignorance or where we think it’s funny to whoosh people or, frankly, we couldn’t care less.
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And we will not be Jerks, for the being of jerkishness is forbidden, and rightly so, and the Jerk is that which doth the light and darkness meld as into a non-Moderated forum of chaos, from which no illumination may emerge, and the Jerks shall be expelled, banned and otherwise cast into the wilderness, and we shall Pit them most furiously, and great shall be the pile thereon.
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And we will not be Junior Mods, for the Mods are of special greatness that we are not fit to emulate, and we shall not make false Mods nor worship them, and we shall honour the Mods and observe their laws even when frankly we think their decisions stink for mighty is their wrath, and we do honour them and offer sacrifices of beer and chocolate therapy, for so it has been written.
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And there shall be in-jokes and numerous references that newbies don’t get and then a Mod will have to refer them to the sticky in ATMB that explaineth all away except it’s always necessarily just a little bit out of date and there’s nothing wrong with that.
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And many shall be the discussions to do with Trek, Star Wars, Simpsons, Python, LOTR, kittens and 1920s style death rays, and we care not that they have been done many times before, for we have seen them and they are good; but some other things that have been done before may not so happily be recycled and need to be handled with care, if at all, and it would be better to just post new kitten pictures, and this includes Showgirls.
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And Charter Members may not be smug or superior in their views or opinions, except just a little bit if we’re not too extraordinarily obnoxious about it, but then again we are Charter Members and we’ve been around a bit and what’s the point (apart from saving a few bucks) if we can’t occasionally swan around deftly posting references to previous threads from five years ago and saying ‘We’ve already done this’.
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And there shall be tolerance, peace and understanding, and mutual respect for all views and opinions, even those which clearly indicate the OP is, in the words of Dave Barry, a raving space loon, and the stench and vileness of flames, insults and using very bad words to describe people shall be confined to the proper place, and the proper place shall be the Pit, and dark shall it be, and nasty, and hopefully at times rather witty as well, and those deserving of the Pit shall be Pitted mercilessly and great shall be their torment.
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And none shall deny Cecil, or covet any other source of omnipotence, or question Him once He has spoken, for errors maketh He not, and great and kindly are His ways and we shall not provoke His anger lest he cease to lead us from Ignorance unto Light, and then we shall be cast into the Abyss of Darkness from which none may return.
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And be it written and observed that all are welcome, and a welcome awaits for all, regardless of race, creed or least favourite track from a favourite artist, and warmth and friendship shall be extended to all except the afore-mentioned raving space loons and those that shall not be named, but shall be known only as Those That Must Not Be Fed, and we shall not feed them, and no feeding of them shall there be.
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And we shall moan, whinge, complain, bitch, bicker, kvetch and dispute anything and everything we damn well want to, including regular rants about the slowness of the Boards, the price of the subs, smilies and avatars, recent Mod decisions, game theads, things that other Boards do that we don’t and why not, planes on treadmills, sex religion politics, cow-orkers, the price of fish and telemarketing, not necessarily in that order or all in one post, for by such means and in such ways do we keep ourselves lively and sharp-ish, and just because we’re nice, gifted and non-ignorant doesn’t mean we don’t feel like bitching about stuff now and again, and where better than here?
Beautiful.
::Claps Wildly::
It shall be decreed that any Charter Member can change their title at any time.
I choose Herr Camembert.
(oh yes… you can only change it to an anagram of “Charter Member”)
If I ever change my user name (not title), **Herr Camembert ** is gonna be the new one.
The hell with the t-shirt, I want a coffee mug. One of those stainless steel travel ones, with ‘SDMB’ on it.
*::: tosses t-shirt to Anastasaeon.
You can have mine. I’m waiting for the coffee mug.
It might be a little stretched out across the boobage area.
Particulary on a plane.
As Charter Members, our cites are our posts.
Cite? I demand proof that the t-shirt is stretched in said area and that it is from you wearing it :D.
Sweet!
I got de double Ds, I think I can handle it.
Unless you got Es. Comfy nightshirt!
dons shirt and tries to look charter-y
Hey, there’s a great tennis court over here, let’s relocate…
Ooh, that’s really good. Mmmm, pie. (I actually really do like pie. It’s not just put on for these boards. I would eat everything wrapped in baked pastry if it wouldn’t make me 500 pounds.)
AKA The Rest of the Internet.
That was just magnificient, ianzin. You sure do know your way around a Charter.
Unless you only have 2 in your list, which was the original point of “Hi Opal!”
“Three shalt thou not count, unless thou goeth on to four.”
Intermingling of goats and squid outside of the initiatory process is strictly verboten.
Ah crap! I’ve got a boxful of squoats I was going to bring to the party tonight…
Now what am I going to do with them? :smack: