Don’t sweat it, hon; I’ve been taking my vitamins…
ianzin…a back rub? REALLY?! Great land o’ Goshen…two men, a cribbage board and a back rub. Seriously…a back rub? I soooooo need a good back rub.
This bed is…so…firm. Mmmmmm. I could just…would you mind moving the cribbage board to the left? Ah, yes. That’s it. Ah…I’ll just stretch out for my BACK RUB. purrs
Now…Time Bandits. Well…there’s the Supreme Being of course…and Kevin…Ke…mmmmm, yes right there…ooooo that’s the spot. What magical hands you have…and the map of the universe…oh my, does that feel delicious…don’t you dare stop…
So, what all do you do in a cheap motel? Just good back rubs?
Since no one here really knows me, I thought I’d make it easier for you folks to flirt with me by providing a handy-dandy, portable list of People Who Are Eligible To Flirt With Me:
o People with ‘lady’ in their nicknames
o People with ‘girl’ in their nicknames
o People with ‘lady’ in their nicknames
o People with female-sounding names, like Jill or Kelli or Anthracite
o People with hair-color names, like Blondie or Brunette or Redhead - provided they’re female
o People with female reproductive organs
There! Hope that’s helpful! Oh, and naughty e-mails will hardly ever be turned down. Provided [sup](say it with me!)[/sup] you’re female!
Ummmmm… Scared ya, did I, Danny boy? 
Sniff.
Hmmph. Struuter, anybody can give backrubs! I do awesome front rubs!
You don’t say…so do I, as a matter of fact.
:Flips long red hair out of her way with perfectly manicured nails:
:slips out of robe revealing large breasts and “female reproductive parts”:
Well I certainly * appear * to be female, but I wouldn’t blame you if you needed to verify it personally 
Announcement
Management would like to ask that you all stop asking the front desk for strange items. You’re creeping us all out.
Thank you.
End Announcement
Announcement
Management would like to ask that you all stop asking the front desk for strange items. You’re creeping us all out.
Thank you.
End Announcement
::Rubbing hands briskly together::
Oh goody, goody, goody!
I’ll even let you teach me dirty cribbage, and I’ll teach you Acey Deucey!
Another Annoucement
Please disregard duplicate announcement.
Thank you.
End Annoucement
Yet Another Announcement
Please disregard all previous announcements if you intend to invite management participate.
Thank you.
End Announcement
[Announcement]
We the new management would just like to inform you that the previous management have been sacked for excessive announcements.
[/Announcement]
Dirty cribbage? For shame. There’s nothing dirty about it. It’s all very…natural.
Hey, I’m all for nature!
No offense taken at all, your Rangership. How do you think that damn fall started in the first place?
Seems like I miss all the good stuff when I’m stuck in an office for 8 hours a day… But now that I’m here, I’m ready to play!
pulls out her collection of toys
Now who wants to play with me???
Laws, no! Danny does not scare easily. Danny is a veteran of chatrooms. If you can make it there, you can make it anywhere. I hear this song all the time…
“It’s up to you, you dork, youuuuuuuuuuu dorkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk!”
Pleased ta meetcha, Vestal…
Someday, if I know y’all well enough, I might even give my pic to the People Pages! Maybe. If I’m drunk and stupid simultaneously.
ROFL!
Pleased t’meetcha, Dan! A belated welcome aboard!
Let’s go see what Arden’s up to…or down to…
or up & down to…
Oooooooooooo… Yummy! Ooooooooooooooo.
Ow!!! My eyes just did that goofy Roger Rabbit thing and now… now they won’t go back inside my head! Dagnabit to heck…
Yes, I’m afraid I’ll have to verify personally. Kind of a tactile test, if ya know what I mean! <nudge, nudge, wink, wink>
Saaaaaaaaay… you’re in Ohio, eh? I’ve heard of Ohio, what a coincidence!
Pleased to meetcha, The Mermaid… or may I just call you The? No wait… how about Mer? Yes, Mer, is that ok?
What do YOU think?? Is it ready??