Who controls the British crown?
Who keeps the metric system down?
We do, we do!
Who keeps Atlantis off the maps?
Who keeps the Martians under wraps?
We do, we do!
Who holds back the electric car?
Who makes Steve Guttenberg a star?
We do, we do!
Who robs cavefish of their sight?
Who rigs every Oscar night?
We do!
We do!!!
Oliver Cromwell
Lord Protector of England (Puritan)
Born in 1599, Died in 1658 (September)
Was at first (only)
MP for Huntington (but then)
He led the Ironside Calvary at Marston Moor in 1644 and won
Then he founded the new model army
And, praise be, beat the Cavaliers at Naisby
And the King fled up North, like a bat! Toward the Scots…
Drunk last night, drunk the night before,
Gonna get drunk tonight like I’ve never been drunk before
For when i’m drunk I’m happy as can be –
For I am a member of the Souse family.
Oh, the Souse family is the best family
That ever came over from old Germany.
There’s the Amsterdam Souses and the Rotterdam Souses,
The Potsdam Souses and the goddamn Souses
Singing, “Glorious! Victorious!
One keg of beer for the four of us!
Praise be to God that there are no more of us
'Cause one of us could drink it all alone.”
-“BB”-
Oats, peas, beans, and barley grow!
Oats, peas, beans, and barley grow!
Do you or I or anyone know
How oats, peas, beans and barley grow?
First the farmer plants the seeds,
Stands up tall and takes his ease
He stamps his feet and claps his hands
And turns around to view the land
Oats, peas, beans, and barley grow!
Oats, peas, beans, and barley grow!
Do you or I or anyone know
How oats, peas, beans and barley grow?
Then the farmer watches the ground
Watches the sun shine all around
He stamps his feet and claps his hands
And turns around to view the land
Oats, peas, beans, and barley grow!
Oats, peas, beans, and barley grow!
Do you or I or anyone know
How oats, peas, beans and barley grow?
This is the horse and the hound and the horn
That belonged to the farmer sowing his corn
That kept the cock that crowed in the morn
That woke the priest all shaven and shorn
That married the man all tattered and torn
That kissed the maiden all forlorn
That milked the cow with the crumpled horn
That tossed the dog that worried the cat
That killed the rat that ate the malt
That lay in the house that Jack built.
Show me the way to go home.
I’m tired and I wanna go to bed.
I had a little drink about an hour ago
And it got right to my head.
Wherever I may roam
By land or sea or foam
You can always hear me singing this song.
Show me the way to go home.
How dry I am
How dry I am
Nobody knows
How dry I am
Here we sit like birds in the wilderness,
Birds in the wilderness,
Birds in the wilderness.
Here we sit like birds in the wilderness,
Waiting for < name > to buy…
-“BB”-
Variant - -
Here we sit like nuts on a Hershey bar
Nuts on a Hershey bar
Nuts on a Hershey bar
Here we sit like nuts on a Hershey bar
Waiting for
To the lords in convention 'twas Claverhouse spoke:
Ere the King’s crown goes down, there’ll be crowns to be broke
So, each cavalier who loves honor and me
Led him follow the bonnets of Bonnie Dundee
Come, fill up my cup and come fill up my can!
Come, saddle my horses and call out my men!
Unhook the West Port and let us gae free,
For it’s up wi’ the bonnets o’ Bonnie Dundee!
Dundee, he is mounted, and he rides doon the street
The bells, they ring backward, the drums, they do beat
But the Provost, that douce man says: Just let him be,
For the toon is well rid o’ that deevil, Dundee!
Come, fill up my cup and come fill up my can!
Come, saddle my horses and call out my men!
Unhook the West Port and let us gae free,
For it’s up wi’ the bonnets o’ Bonnie Dundee!
There are hills beyond Pentland, there are lands beyond Forth
Be there kings in the South, there are chiefs in the North
There are brave Duniewassals, three thousand times three,
Fly high for the bonnets of Bonnie Dundee
Come, fill up my cup and come fill up my can!
Come, saddle my horses and call out my men!
Unhook the West Port and let us gae free,
For it’s up wi’ the bonnets o’ Bonnie Dundee!
Then, awa’ frae the hills, tae the lee and the rocks
Ere I own a usurper, I’ll crouch wi’ the fox
So tremble, false Whigs, in the midst o’ your glee,
Ye hae no seen the last o’ my bonnets and me!
Come, fill up my cup and come fill up my can!
Come, saddle my horses and call out my men!
Unhook the West Port and let us gae free,
For it’s up wi’ the bonnets o’ Bonnie Dundee!
Come, fill up my cup and come fill up my can!
Come, saddle my horses and call out my men!
Unhook the West Port and let us gae free,
For it’s up wi’ the bonnets o’ Bonnie Dundee!
ALBA GU BRATH!!!
I’ve just come down
From the Isle of Skye
I’m not very big and I’m awful shy
And the lassies shout when I go by
Donald, where’s your troosers?
Let the wind blow high
Let the wind blow low
Through the streets, in my kilt I’ll go
All the lassies say hello
Donald, where’s your troosers?
We’re no strangers to love
You know the rules and so do I
A full commitment’s what I’m thinking of
You wouldn’t get this from any other guy
I just wanna tell you how I’m feeling
Gotta make you understand
Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
Never gonna make you cry
Never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you
We’ve known each other for so long
Your heart’s been aching, but
You’re too shy to say it
Inside, we both know what’s been going on
We know the game and we’re gonna play it
And if you ask me how I’m feeling
Don’t tell me you’re too blind to see
Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
Never gonna make you cry
Never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you
Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
Never gonna make you cry
Never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you
(Ooh, give you up)
(Ooh, give you up)
Never gonna give, never gonna give
(Give you up)
Never gonna give, never gonna give
(Give you up)
We’ve known each other…SINCE 1987!!!
Your heart’s been aching, but
You’re too shy to say it
Inside, we both know what’s been going on
We know the game and we’re gonna play it
And if you ask me how I’m feeling…ME?! I’M FEELIN’ BLOODY MAHVELLOUS!!!
Gotta make you understand
Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
Never gonna make you cry
Never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you
Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
Never gonna make you cry
Never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you
Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
Never gonna make you cry
Never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you
NB: Should I ever finally find “the one”, I hope the Rick Roll will become “our song”.
(Rick-)Roll me over in the clover
Roll me over, lay me down
And do it again
Just wanna say, Phil Daoust
I know it must be really hard to be a journal-oust
What with deadlines always looming
And the pressure to be entertaining
So maybe you should quit and get a job that you’d be better at
Here’s the story, of a lovely lady,
Who was bringing up three very lovely girls.
All of them had hair of gold,
Like their mother,
The youngest one in curls.
Here’s the story, of a man named Brady,
Who was busy with three boys of his own.
They were four men,
Living all together,
But they were all alone.
Till the one day when the lady met this fellow,
and they knew that it was much more than a hunch
That this group must somehow form a family.
That’s the way we all became the Brady Bunch.
-“BB”-
When he gets in a scrape, he makes his escape
With the help of his friend, an ape named, “Ape.”
Then away he’ll schlep on his elephant, “Shep,”
While Fella and Ursula stay in step.
He’s all you can stand
Give him a hand
It’s Gitarzan!
This is the song that never ends
It just goes 'round and 'round, my friends
Some people started singing it
Not knowing what it was
And we continue singing it forever just because
[Repeat]
Those were the days, my friend
We thought they’d never end
We’d sing and dance forever and a day
We’d live the life we choose
We’d fight and never lose
For we were young and sure to have our way
Too bad, but it’s the life you lead
You’re so ahead of yourself that you forgot what you need
Though you can see when you’re wrong
You know you can’t always see when you’re right (you’re right)
You got your passion, you got your pride
But don’t you know that only fools are satisfied?
Dream on, but don’t imagine they’ll all come true (Oooh)
When will you realize, Vienna waits for you?