What songs do you remember singing when you were younger?
I’m mostly interested in the ones you’d not sing in front of your teachers.
I remember singing on top of Mt. Smokey( to the tune of "on Top of Old Smokey):
“On top of Mt. Smokey,
all covered in blood,
I shot my poor teacher
with a .44 slug.
I went to her funeral.
I went to her grave.
Instead of throwing flowers,
I threw a grenade.”
There was also “Joy to the world”
“Joy to the world,
my teacher’s dead.
We BBQ’d her head!
Don’t worry about the body,
we flushed it down the potty
round and round and round it goes…”
It seems we didn’t really like school…
So, if you remember any songs, could you post them here?
Regional variations are also welcome.
Here’s a related discussion of “Miss Lucy” and her steamboat. A bit old
Before this gets boxed up and carted off to MPSIMS…
“Glory, glory Hallelujah,
teacher hit me with a ruler,
I hid behind the door,
with a loaded forty-four,
and she ain’t my teacher no more”
or the (tamer) variation of:
“I hit her in the bean,
with a rotten tangerine”
in place of lines 3 & 4 above.
And, for some Yuletide cheer:
“Deck the halls with gasoline,
fa la la la la, la la la la.
Strike a match and watch it gleam,
fa la la la la, la la la la.
Watch our school burn downn to ashes,
fa la la, la la la, la la laaaaa!
Aren’t you glad you played with matches,
fa la la la la, la la la la.”
Mind you, this was at least 12 years ago. It’s probably safe to assume that any kid singing the first or third songs above verse would be suspended in a heartbeat in today’s world of school violence. It seemed so tame back then:(
My mother put it in my milk,
and tried to poison me.
But I fooled mommy,
I put it in her tea.
Now there’s no more mommy
to try to poison me.
I went to catholic school. Those nuns were pretty strict about serious things, like looking under a girls dress. But not so strict about silly things, like these little, ditties.
Here’s (in part) another;
I have seen the glory of the burning of the school
I have beaten every teacher
I have broken every rule
etc.
Peace,
mangeorge
Diarrhea (fart, fart). Diarrhea (fart, fart).
Some people think it’s gross
But it’s really good on toast.
Diarrhea (fart, fart).
Granny’s in the cellar.
And oh lord can’t you smell her?
She’s a cooking on her old and dirty stove.
Something is the matter,
Something’s fallen in the batter
And she whistles while the (snort) rolls down her nose.
We had One other verse to the Glory glory Hallelulia ditty
Chased her up the attic, with a german automatic,
And she Ain’t my teacher no more.
WE also sang.
My eyes have seen the glory of the burning of the school
We have tortured every teacher, we have broken every rule
We have even drowned the principal in his own swimming pool
Our truth is marching on.
and
Jingle Bells,
shotgun Shells
BBs in the air
Take a shot at Santa Claus
And listen to him swear.
or
Jingle Bells
Shotgun Shells
Santa Clause is Dead
Someone took my .45
And shot him in the head.
The batman version I knew went:
Jingle Bells, Batman Smells
Robin laid an egg
The batmobile lost a wheel,
and Joker got away.
thanks for the trip down memory lane.
“This land is my land
This land ain’t your land
I’ve got a shotgun
And you don’t got one
I’ll blow your head off
If you don’t get off
This land was made for only me”
My inner city, urban upbringing has given me so many cuss songs.
A few diarrhea couplets:
When your walking down the halls
See it dripping down the walls.
Gotta run real fast
'Cause it’s dripping out your ass
No strain, no pain
Just let it drain.
Oh, and the dissing songs:
I hate to talk about your momma but she’s in my class
She’s got popcorn titties and a rubber ass
She’s ninety-nine
She’s Frankenstien
She’s the fattest MoFo on the welfare line.
Guess I’ll be riding with ya Rasa…I always sang it like this though…
God bless my underwear
My only pair.
Stand beside them,
And guide them,
Through the wash and the rip and the tear.
How 'bout a nice Christmas song?
Chipmunks, roasting on an open fire.
Jack Frost ripping off your clothes.
Tiny tots with their eyes all gouged out,
will find it hard to see tonight.
They know that Santa’s on his way.
He’s loaded lots of guns and ammo on his sleigh.
And, every mother’s child is gonna try,
To see if reindeer really scream when they die…
