It is kind of curious how, no matter what manifest design deficiencies or needlessly intricate activation requirements that Movie Alien technology displays, it somehow always works perfectly every time. You never encounter any scenes, for example, where the aliens try to activate their doomsday weapon, but the remote detonator won’t function, so one of the aliens has to crawl down a ventilation shaft and cut either the red or the blue wire to set the thing off. That sort of thing only seems to happen to humans, for some reason.
This may explain why so many rock-stupid spacefaring alien races are encountered in these sorts of movies: they have naturally evolved to take advantage of Stupid Movie Physics, so they can instinctively create flawlessly operational spaceships and death rays and such despite being dumber than dirt.
In Stargate, I think it would have been cool if the researchers finally decipher the impossibly complex alien code, prop the artifact up on the platform, punch in the activation sequence, then watch as the gadget makes a hideous grinding noise and belches smoke from all its seams. Then a panel pops off and a bunch of sand pours out. The researchers all sort of look at each other and slap their foreheads and say, “What the hell were we thinking? This thing has been buried in the desert for thousands of years, and we expected it to work perfectly the first time? What kind of idiots are we?”
Honestly, I don’t think that it was. Granted, I haven’t seen the movie since it came out in theaters, but I remember walking out thinking that it was actually the best comic-book movie I’d seen in ages (which, admittedly, wasn’t saying much at the time). On the other hand, I was never deeply enough into the Thatcher-Era British punk scene to appreciate whatever appeal the 2000 AD incarnation of Dredd had. The few issues I read all featured the exact same setup: a skeezy lowlife of some sort comes up with a scam based on an implausible premise or device, briefly causes havoc among the citizens of Mega-City One, at which point Dredd swoops in, beats the tar out of them, and slaps them in the Iso-cubes. Ostensibly all this was razor-sharp, boundary-transgressing satire, but all I ever saw was a guy in stupidly huge Doc Martens and a potentially unfortunate scalp condition from never doffing his hat.
While many elements of the movie were indeed extremely daft, they weren’t unreasonably so by comics standards. I had no emotional investment in the character, so I wasn’t scandalized beyond measure when Dredd took his hat off or grew a first name, and I thought the casting of Stallone was perfect-- his film career having been based on unilaterally violent stereotypes, it was amusing to see him in a role that toyed with that image even while embracing it. Jurgen Prochnow essayed a fine, understated supporting role, retaining his dignity remarkably well given his surroundings. Even Rob Schneider was ultimately tolerable as the sidekick-- this is easily the least annoying role I’ve ever seen him in, and his little mocking impression of Stallone was memorably hilarious. Some of the scenes were surprisingly effective, especially the stark ritual where deposed Judges are exiled into the wasteland, armed only with a gun, a flag, and a Bible-looking Book of Law. The effects were quite impressive in general, from the Mega-City One cityscape to the makeup of the No Man’s Land mutants.
Overall, I enjoyed the movie and think it gets an undeservedly bad rap. I fully concede, though, that as a catchphrase “I knew you’d say that” doesn’t really do the character justice. So to speak.
Did you see “Demolition Man”? If so, they’re the same movie. They just have different costumes - and one has lots of Taco Bell product placement and one doesn’t.