The Seventh Seal has been opened...

If David Hasselhof can be a singing star in Germany, why not Steven Seagal tantalizing the French with his dulcet tones.

Oh…look…here come the locust.

From your link:

Be afraid. Be very afraid.

Hey, maybe this means my dream of a Jean Claude Van Damme gospel album is on the horizon.

In the preceding sentence, the word “dream” shall be defined as “fucking nightmare”.

I never dreamed that I would regard Hello Kitty as a safe cultural haven…


Someone PLEASE tell me this isn’t the Jethro Tull song.



But think of some great album titles he could have:

“Van Damme the Torpedoes”
“Van Damme Yankees”
“Chevy Van (Damme)”

HIllary Rodham Cliinton was just called “The First Lady of the Democratic Party, The First Lady of the American People.”

Look at the pretty horsemen coming.

You know, when I read the title, I immediately thought of Police Academy 8 (seven sequels, seven seals - get it?)

Aw, sure there is…he’s just senile, and a borderline psychotic.

And he needs our tears to give him his great power.

Just wait for the music video.

Well, at least he’s got some original song titles. I mean, just look at the tracklisting:

If you go here you can actually hear a little. Click at your own risk.

[Eric Cartman]
Oh, your tears are so yummy! The tears of unfathomable sadness! Yes! Yes!

This is just brilliant.

So if Hassellhoff/Germany is equivalent to Seagal/France, who is Germany’s answer to Jerry Lewis? :confused:

Just one? Whew! You had me worried there for a minute. :smiley:

Steven Wright (except he may be a little to hyperactive for the Germans)

Yeah, buit it’s a really big one. It could get into the air ducts and keep us awake for weeks. :slight_smile: