The shit in my life continues to exponentially increase

The BBQ Pit
1

A sequel to my earlier Pit thread.

Came back from the dentist today. My first visit to a dentist in an embarrassingly long time. Some of the news I expected…I have a couple of cavities, which will need addressing.

The rest of the news was unexpected. A number of my fillings apparently need replacing, and the dentist also recommended a cleaning.

He quoted a price of $250 just for the cleaning alone, which struck me as unusually high.

To just take care of the two cavities, the dentist quoted me a number slightly over $700. That’s only a portion of the final number.

There may be options. When my mom heard what the quotes were, she said they sounded awfully high, and that her own dentist was a lot cheaper. I’m gonna get in touch with him.

Another option is the Oregon Health Plan, which provides coverage for low-income individuals. I’ve already requested an application, but I’m tortured by the nagging thought that my unemployment benefits may disqualify me from the OHP, even though I’ve been fucking unemployed for six fucking months and don’t have much of a fucking nest egg.

It isn’t the cavities that upset me. It’s the fact that this is happening while I’m unemployed and without insurance. If I had insurance, the cost would almost certainly be a mere fraction of what this total comes to.

If I had a job, I would have insurance. Just another LOVELY WONDERFUL thing that I can thank my unemployment for.

Why does this cavity shit have to happen NOW?

I JUST CAN’T SEEM TO CATCH A FUCKING BREAK.

After what seemed like promising encounters during follow-up calls, I have heard nothing but silence from the places in Minnesota, Detroit, and Philadelphia. An ENT office in Vancouver has so far ignored my application, although they acknolwedged receiving it.

No one wants me. I’ve been unemployed for six months now. SIX GODDAMN MONTHS. I had not dared imagine that it would be so long. The unemployment rate in Oregon has actually worsened in the last few months…it’s the worst in the nation, at 11%.

There is no joy in my life anymore. Months of being unemployed, being ignored by potential employers, my Mom’s cancer, and now this. I’ve struggled so hard to retain my sanity, but I honestly feel it slipping away. Everything is falling apart. I’ve gotten less than ten hours sleep in the last four days, and if I get any sleep tonight it will be a fucking miracle. I’m in dire need of good news, peace, and health.

Even good news about other family members would be nice. To cap off a truly horrendous week, my mom was diagnosed with cancer on Monday.

Cancer. Wonderful. She’s only 49 years old, and she’s got cancer.

I’m losing it, I really am. I can just feel how close I am to truly losing it. Everyone has a breaking point, and I’ve never been so close to mine before.

I have a telephone interview scheduled with a place in Burlington, Wisconsin on Tuesday at noon, and I really don’t know what kind of shape I’ll be in for that. I’ve been shit on for so long by the job market that all the optimism has been drained out of me. The Wisconsin place contacted me unusually quickly after I sent them my application and resume online, but I’m not sure that means anything anymore.

There isn’t any point to anything anymore. All I do is send out applications, follow up with phone calls, and get ignored.

I’ve tried hanging on. It’s not working.

I’ve tried being persistent in the job hunt. It’s not working.

I can’t sleep anymore.

My mom has cancer.

I can’t have fun anymore. Last night I watched an hour-long “Malcolm in the Middle”, my favorite sitcom, a show guaranteed to make me laugh out loud at least once, and I didn’t even crack a smile.

My whole life has been nothing but a long downward spiral for almost two years. Everything is turning to crap. I look at my life as it is right now, and it just reeks of failure. The worst part is that I played by the rules, and I’ve lost.

If I take care of these two cavities, I could lose whatever margin I have in terms of having enough money to move across the country for a job. If I don’t take care of these cavities, they’ll just get worse, and cause me some real pain. Either way, I’m fucked.

And that’s my life. Fucked. It’s gone on like this for almost two years, and there doesn’t seem to be an end to it.

2

Atreyu, to help with the least of your problems, when I was starving and unemployed in Portland (ca. 1995?) the dental students up at OHSU would take in people to, ahem, practice cleaning and fillings on for free, if you are willing to put yourself at the mercy of students. . . give them a call. I hear Or. health plan takes a while on the waiting list.

3

Atreyu, I don’t know what to say but just wanted to let you know tht you are not alone. I’ve been unemployed for 9 months :frowning: (we live in the Bay area) and it really is emotionally wearing. Like you our past two years has been a downward spiral. All I can say is hang in there and believe as hard as you can that things will get better one day. My thoughts are with you.

4

unemployed for 16 months here.
just hang on, believe me when I tell you I have been there, you know its getting bad when you start thinking about pump action shotguns and all the fun you could have with one…really I’m still sane but I dont know for how much longer myself.

5

That sounds wicked high - I’m having 5 fillings done next week (I’m finally getting all the dental work done that I postponed for years and years) and I’m paying $800 for all of them since I’ve used up all my insurance so far this year.

I don’t have any advice on the job scenario…but I hate that things are going so poorly for you.

6

250 for a cleaning?!?!?!?!

700 for two cavities to be filled??!?!?!!

You’re getting screwed, man.

Cleanings should run you 80-100 and fillings should be about 80-100 each as well.

7

I had 4 composite fillings even for $1000 total. But I did also have a $400 cleaning once (if it’s a root planing and scraping, it can cost that much).

I would shop around w.r.t. the fillings. Not that this really helps your overall situation. :frowning:

8

Atryeu, I’m really sorry to hear all that.

I wish I had any idea what to say, but I’m thinking of ya. I’m definitely with ya on the Oregon unemployed bit.

I’m especially sorry about your mother’s diagnosis. Hang in there - email me if you want to vent or talk or anything.

OH-- FWIW, OHP can take patients more quickly if there’s a need - medical problem that requires attention (I’d think cavities count.) I got on OHP soon after I got laid off from OHSU and my COBRA ran out because of a [sub](girl problem)[/sub] - it wasn’t too much of a hassle, and I was on unemployment at the time.

-sic

9

The unemployment thing is such a demoralizing thing. My boyfriend and I purchased a home in November and got laid off in February and is still unemployed. He probably submits an average of 5 resumes a day and hasn’t even received a phone call. Not one phone call in 4 months.

This probably isn’t making you feel better, but I just wanted to let you know I understand the stress you are feeling. Each day, we spend a little more of our savings and I worry endlessly about losing the house, the money will eventually run out and I’m scared.

Best wishes to your mom.

10

My thoughts are with you, Atreyu. Being unemployed and “unhireable” is a real bitch, especially when you’ve spent so much time, money, and effort getting your education. Hang in there, and don’t be afraid to take a grunt job if you have to. Lots of intelligent, well-educated folks end up having to work at Safeway for awhile to pay the bills.

Consider this a temporary setback and not a defeat.

As for you mom, I wish I could say something to make you feel better, but I know that’s probably impossible. “Cancer” is a scary word, but a lot of cancers, especially if the doctors catch them early, are quite treatable. Don’t lose hope at this stage of the game.

11

For what it’s worth, my dentist told me over a year ago that a few of my fillings were getting old and should be replaced. As with most things dentists recommend, I decided to wait until they actually cause me some problems before I ‘fix’ them. So far, no problems.

I’m doing the same thing with my wisdom teeth. I was 18 the first time a dentist recommended I get them out. They told me all sorts of dire things that could happen if I kept 'em in - they could screw up my expensive orthodontia work, they could easily get infected and rot, bleah bleah bleah. I’m 32 now, and they have yet to cause a problem.