The Shitbird

[Scylla]

@kayT

Is everyone around here going nuts? I never saw Frank be so ridiculous. And really, Scylla, I think you need to stop engaging with mhendo as he is apparently in some other place. Why is he so upset that your story was in three parts? Is it the heat?

Mhendo got triple raped by the Cookie Monster, Kermit, and Grover simultaneously, while the Count kept score.

Since then anything in 3s has caused a psychotic episode.

[kayT]

@mhendo

@kayT

Why is he so upset that your story was in three parts? Is it the heat?

So upset about his story being in three parts? That’s what you got from my posts? Are you a fucking moron, or what?

I made one single mention on the three-part nature of the OP, in passing, and said that it seemed a little self-indulgent.

See post 73. And if you want self-indulgent, take a look at all your repetitive blathering about the SUV, completely unrelated to the OP or anything else. And no, I am not a fucking moron. Moron maybe, but currently, not fucking.

[Rand_Rover]

@tdn

Look, Frank, normally I like you and enjoy your posts.

Really? Wow. Why?

[CanvasShoes]

Thank you. Good post.

I’m reminded of a story that I’m fond of telling about a pregnant woman I used to know. It’s not the funniest story ever told, and I’m not the best story teller ever, but nonetheless I find it amusing and I hope that others will find it so as well.

It starts out “So I knew this woman who was, like, in her 14th month of pregnancy.”

What happens – ALWAYS – is some fanboy wanker buzzkiller will pipe up with “14 months? Women never go past nine months! Are you stupid or something? Don’t you know anything about pregnancy?” I will then get a stern lecture on female reproductive biology, accompanied by some put-downs of how ignorant I am about that particular subject.

Thanks for ruining the momentum of my story, asshole. We’re all duly impressed with your vast knowledge THAT EVERYONE ALREADY KNOWS. The only tiny gaps in your otherwise perfect brain are 1) realizing that there’s such a thing as hyperbole, and 2) it’s impolite to interrupt a storyteller. I bow to your superior brain, though I’m hardly impressed with your social skills.

EXACTLY! There is an ever-increasing epidemic of lack-of-a-true-sense-of-humoritis going on. Apparently, the only thing that is funny in this day and age (for some folks), is something that includes vast quantities of profanity, or crudity.

And by the way, women DO go past 9 months. The average gestation period for humans is 40 weeks (and some of us DO go over). At 4 weeks per month, that’s 10 months. Tell those who don’t get the hyperbole to put THAT in their pipes and smoke it!

[elucidator]

…What happens – ALWAYS – is some fanboy wanker buzzkiller will pipe up …

And yet, you apparently keep doing it. Want to share with the group your feelings about that?

[SteveG1]

Fear the shit bird.

[SteveG1]

http://beemp3.com/download.php?file=4986972&song=Flight+of+the+Foo+Birds

Count Basie - Flight of the Foo Birds .mp3

[billfish678]

I am just amazed that one of the biggest shitbirds in these here parts hasnt shown up. I guess I am just a cynic.

[VinylTurnip]

Like they say, if you look around the thread and can’t tell where the biggest shitbird is…

[billfish678]

@VinylTurnip

Like they say, if you look around the thread and can’t tell where the biggest shitbird is…

Hey, I taint no shitbird, I is an aerodynamically inclined manure delivery system.

[Rilchiam]

@Scylla

@mhendo

[.

Never once even mentioned anything “bolt on.” Not once.

You quote about as well as you shoot.

[elucidator]

When pellet guns are outlawed, only outlaws will have pellet guns. And pirates. Pirates will have pellet guns, too.

[Count_Blucher]

@Scylla

@kayT

Is everyone around here going nuts? I never saw Frank be so ridiculous. And really, Scylla, I think you need to stop engaging with mhendo as he is apparently in some other place. Why is he so upset that your story was in three parts? Is it the heat?

Mhendo got triple raped by the Cookie Monster, Kermit, and Grover simultaneously, while the Count kept score.

(bolding mine)

Easy, Pardner. All I did was mention a Lynyrd Skynyrd song in post 3. If anything, it should improve your aim.

And if it doesn’t, I hope you didn’t save a lot of money on car insurance by skimping on your coverage…

“Its those damn glass-termites, I tells ya…”

[VinylTurnip]

@elucidator

When pellet guns are outlawed, only outlaws will have pellet guns. And pirates. Pirates will have pellet guns, too.

And rabbits. Desperado and law-abiding alike. Obamaclypse goes down and I’m falling in with the Leporidae. Already working on my ears, one of Tug Ahoy’s many off-label uses…

[elucidator]

@VinylTurnip

…I’m falling in with the Leporidae…

Well, by golly, sir, if you want to join one of them colonys, I say its a free country! Be the star of the soccer team, right quick! Not to mention the sexual opportunities!

[elelle]

Well, through the years, I’ve admired Scylla’s wordsmithing, always worth a read.

Something useful to add to the thread: I had a mirror shitting bird last year, a bluebird. Bluebirds are amusing in their vanity with a found mirror image. The male would get all up in the car mirror, and flash his wings, while the female perched up on top of the mirror to admire him. So, double bird shit goodness in the morning all over the car— they’re gettin’ it on gettin’ on at sunrise.

Here’s how I solved the problem, tired of birdshit streaking down the car, getting pissed off, too: put a plastic shopping bag around the mirrors , and, yay, voila, no problem. Just sayin’.

[The_Tao_s_Revenge]

I enjoyed the Shitbird. But let it live!

[Dr.Rieux]

Having read a couple of previous Scylla adventures, I could see the ending coming
But it was still very enjoyable.

[Duke]

@Scylla

Mhendo got triple raped by the Cookie Monster, Kermit, and Grover simultaneously, while the Count kept score.

Wait, earlier on you said threesomes were a myth. On second thought, though: mhendo, the Cookie Monster, Kermit, and Grover make four. So that’s OK, I think.

Although I’m still intrigued by this idea that threesomes are a myth. If so, there’ve got to be several million people out there warping time and space. Just not you, Scylla.

[Shot_From_Guns]

Wait, were *all *threesomes a myth, or just threesomes involving college girls?