I have promises to keep

The BBQ Pit
1

This was pretty much the worst month ever.

There have been family crises, brain surgery, ghosts (not the “booo” chain-rattling kinds, but the other kind, the kind where the corpse of the person you were is disturbed, and does battle with the person you are.)

I went for a run in the woods and almost got lost.

Have you ever been “almost in trouble?” It’s one of those things where you’re not paying attention and you start making a chain of minor errors that begin to snowball and interract. Suddenly God, or the subconscious taps you on the shoulder and points out that you are just one mistake away from serious and irredemable shit, and you had better start wising up and being careful as you have a lot of stupidity to undo to get out of this. You get scared, you get serious.

There you are at 7am by yourself in the woods. You have been running for an hour and a half in the same direction, just thinking about shit, and you’re ready to stop, and your knee hurts and you are tired and as you stop to get your bearings you realize that it is very cold and you are not wearing much and you are soaked with sweat and only the heat of your motion has kept you warm thus far, and you know you are going to have to go back every step you came but you’re not sure when you left the path or where the path ended.

You turn around, and you start running, but nothing looks the same. Maybe you’ve seen it before, but you saw it while running in one direction and it doesn’t look the same coming back. You’re thirsty, cold, tired. Your knee hurts and maybe you stop giving a shit, because it’s all too surreal… and you’re sure you never ran down this hill and why are you running up it?

Nobody knows where you are and nobody’s going to miss you for a long long time, too long to matter, and the panic becomes an ache of fear, and then resolve, and when that fades, acceptance and suddenly you’re ok with it and want to stay in the woods. To find your way out is to leave the moment . The words of Robert Frost keep running through your head.

“Your woods are lovely dark and deep,
but I have promises to keep,
and miles to go before I sleep,
and miles to go before I sleep”

Again and again.

You would be fooling yourself to think anybody ever had any choice, least of all, yourself, so sorry.

2

I hope things get better for you soon.

3

Perfection.

4

I’ve no knowledge of what you’re going through right now, but I can say the analogy sums up how I’ve felt for years and years and years. I’m coming out of the haze, and I hope whatever seems to be troubling you is soon resolved.

5

Scylla, I wouldn’t worry about things too much, a lot of adolescent girls go through something similar.

6

Wow. You are new around here.

7

No, that comment was high comedy at it’s finest.

8

I have to admit, it is interesting going back and reading the OP in a teenage girl’s voice.

I’m sure you’ve got reasons for not sharing anything more specific, Scylla. Whatever-all you’re been through in the past month, hang in there.

9

Not clear on the details, Scylla, but I am sure I speak for all Dopers when I say we are glad to see you back and posting OK. And the hopes of all and the prayers of many are with you for as long as you need them.

Regards,
Shodan

10

"Have you ever… "

Yes. Many times over both in matters literary analogous and those disturbingly real.
You strike me as one who would in all probability have a pretty decent sense of direction. I wish you and yours well on your journey and, like others, have faith in your compass.

11

What is this? A purple prose contest?

12

Oh God, that was funny! Scylla, if that doesn’t provide a little pick-me-up…

Really, though, you get to have corpses of who you were? All of my previous incarnations are still alive and duking it out. That’ll teach you to go running without a cell phone or a GPS.

(signed)

dropzone, who lives in an area where he couldn’t get lost if he tried.
PS: And a hug and a smiley, just to piss you off! {{{{{Scylla}}}}} :smiley:

13

Maybe the OP would have been better placed in MPSIMS than the Pit. But since we’re in the Pit, you’ve graduated BobNewby from a cluelessly dismissive first post here to a jerkish snipe in your second.

14

Daniel

15

checks the OP Pretty much, yea. Scylla posts these little essays and then tons of people fawn all over him telling him how funny and clever and just so Goddamn nifty brilliant he is. A couple of things he’s written have been petty damn amusing, but there’s a cadre of people who act like he’s the second coming of Billy Shakespeare or something.

16

Speak for yourself, Shodan.

17

Wow, it must have felt fantastic when that well travelled bug left your butt.

18

Hey Weirddave shut the fuck up. Whether you like Scylla or not (gee I wonder where you fall on that one) he’s clearly going through a lot of shit–not looking for accolades. Looking abobe I see some shots taken and some well wishes.

Even if Scylla were my worst enemy I think I’d just either ignore this or say that I hope it gets better for him.

19

Oh and Scylla I hope things work out for you.

20

What the hell, Weirddave and Homebrew?

Even if you and Scylla have had some differences, that’s really no excuse to act like immature little snots and shit all over him when he’s obviously in a bad and vulnerable place.

From someone who is obviously short and lives under a bridge like Bobnewby, you just roll your eyes, but from long-time and respected posters such as yourselves?

Grow up.

Scylla, best wishes that you return from your journey safely. I’d like to think most of us here have matured past the age of 5 and can still manage to reach out a hand to a fellow Doper in their time of need, no matter what differences there may have been in the past.