Manly stuff I do
whiskey
guns and explosives
killing your own food (celery doesn’t count)
Gay bingo (hey - it works for a lot of the men I know 
)
Harleys
Beards
Smokers (like a grill they use real flames and burning wood but you get to play with them for most of a day instead of just a couple hours)
Free weights
Bleeding knuckles from a slipped wrench
Crying when you need to and beating the snot out of anyone laughing at you for doing it
Killing spiders with your thumb
Not manly? The crap is best when its full of live active bacteria, fer Chrissakes! How much manly can you get? OK - washing it down with sour milk maybe.
I’ll get him too. Doggio got the long version of this but -------- I have this cousin on mothers side named Freddie. Cousin Freddie is the meekest little fellow you ever met. He worked in the mill as an electrician but as a sideline he hunted poisonous snakes; mostly copperheads. He would find a cottage somewhere that had basically gotten infested, buy it cheap, hunt out all the snakes and sell them, and then sell the cottage snake-free for a profit.
Some of the guys in the mill learned of this seeing him at a rattlesnake round-up (where you compete by jumping into a pool with snakes in it and grabbing them by hand) and sort of outed him. Well ------ some folks just weren’t buying this. Cousin Freddy really is like your cartoon 98 pound weakling after all. Especially bad was his foreman who was this huge Hulk Hogan type. Freddie took the flak - to a point. Then he pulled the fangs and sacs from a timber-rattler and put it in the foremans lunchbox. Hulk open the box, snake went for Hulk ------ and Cousin Freddie got fired. But to this day he says it was worth it.
Did you hear that the Polish Security Forces figured they won the whole war?
[spoiler]This weekend they found Bed Linen on the third floor of Macy’s![spoiler]