Is not the greatest insult to the French the fact that English can truly said to be the “lingua franca” for the world?
(I know that “franca” doesn’t mean “French” as such but still…close enough for insult purposes)
I just thought of another thing to be rightly smug about…our immense capacity for self deprecation and humility, definitely the best in the world at that.
Sitting in the corner might be your way or throwing a temper tantrum like a little child. At least the Germans have moved on and learned that war is not really working, so we just bought the whole thing: see the German shopping spree here
Relax, that’s still better than being bought out by the Chinese
:eek: Really, you make it sound like that you can buy alcohol everywhere in the Land of the Free? You sure? This cite must be wrong so.
No, it makes it sound like there are no dry states. There are not, even though you tried to make it sound like there were.
… and they call the English smug.
However, pardon my ignorance, no more dry states since 1966 got that… but dry county, dry cities, dry towns or dry townships are still the rage.
A: “Stupid Americans - I can buy a handgun at your über-tacky Walmart, but I can’t even buy one of your tasteless, watery beers in this state!”
B: “That’s not true! There haven’t been any dry states in decades!”
A: “Well then, let us climb into your grossly disproportionate Sport Utility Vehicle and go to your local saloon. I shall even bankroll the zwei litres of petrol required to drive from your hovel to the exit of this trailer park.”
B: “Well, I’d love to buy you a round with the money I’ve saved by not having health insurance, but the thing is - this is a dry county.”
A: “But you said that there were no dry states in America! Is your logical dissonance a product of your inferior educational system, or are you just congenitally stupid?”
B: “No, no. You can drink in this state - just not this part of the state.”
A: :smack: “Ah - alles klar.”
Ah hahahaha – I’ve been teaching at a university in the UK for three years now, and virtually none of my students have a second language – except those students who are immigrants.
We took a group of about 20 students to Paris for a weeklong trip last year; about half of them had never been to London (60 miles up the road) . None of them spoke even basic French.
And that’s my slap of paint with my broad brush 
Yup, they certainly exist. I wouldn’t say they’re “all the rage,” but I’ve certainly experienced them and they are awful and laughable and extremely mock-worthy.
I was merely pointing out that there are no dry states, and haven’t been for a half-century. No implication intended beyond that. (Dry counties and townships are ludicrous enough without needing to resort to exaggeration.)
Oh, great, now the Germans are putting their 2 pfennigs into the mix. I gotta say, I thought you volks were just a bunch of harmless beer swiggin’ polka dancers who make good eyeglass lenses and talk like you’re choking on a ham sandwich. Harmless that is…until I got a load of German porn. Quite shocking!
As a modest American, I don’t actively seek out porn of any type (sex should be used for procreation, nothing more)…but, regretfully, sometimes it seeks me out. I like to visit Disney websites a few times a day, and mysteriously, whenever I type “Disney World” into the address bar, my crazy browser redirects me to “Deutsche Porn.” I’m quite traumatized each and every time this happens every day. Suffice it to say, what pops up on the video screen at those sites is not appropriate visual fare for my young kids, or my dear nana. My dog seems to like it, however.
After many unfortunate viewings, I’m still not quite sure if German male porn stars are into hard-core bestiality, or maybe it’s that German woman are just really, really ugly…hard to tell. Not that the English get a pass on this, either. I seem to recall from my middle school history class that at least one of those English Queens had carnal knowledge with Mr. Ed, or some other Triple Crown winner.
…hmmm, on second thought, it was some czarina who did it with Sea Biscuit…and she was crushed when her love went unrequited. So, my apologies to you Brits. Your royalty don’t do it with equines, they just look them (is this Charles, Margaret, or Maggie?). Hard to tell the runners from the watchers at the Royal Ascot. 
Is there any chance they were trying to wind you up because they thought you were a dick?
Considering just how fucking awful Britain’s behaviour was as a superpower, I think we can all be grateful for that.
But looking at how America’s done since, let’s all cross our fingers and hope that China or India will get a shot soon.
I’m unclear at this early stage on what is and isn’t permitted in this no-holds-barred forum, so I hope it’s not out of line for me to suggest politely that you go take a running fuck at a rolling doughnut.
A touch of honesty there, but as to China, I don’t know that they have an especially admirable human-rights record even to their own people, let alone anyone else - perhaps we could consider Tibet to begin with and go on from there.
At the time of our Empire building everyone was fucking awful.
Judging us by the standards of the time, we didn’t try to kill everyone, we didn’t try to steal everything, we did leave some useful legacies, we did give some stuff back, we did let people leave eventually.
Same with the Romans, they were a bunch of barbaric shits but not without merit and not without benefit to the conquered countries. Hell, the comfort and relative sophistication of the Roman cities of 2000 years ago is a wonder to behold. Skip forward 1000 years and your average Briton is back living on a pig-shit bed in a mud-hut chewing on a turnip.
By “everyone,” you mean, “Us, the Belgians, and the Dutch”?
Bengal famine, division of India, Irish famine, concentration camps in the boer war, use of smallpox as a weapon in the US war of independence, the Amritsar massacre, our handling of the independence campaigns of Kenya, Cyprus and others…how many examples would you like. As a superpower we were a thoroughly vile bunch of bastards and to pretend otherwise means either you’re a liar or an idiot.
“Let people leave”?
Fuck me, is this what gets taught in Britain these days?
Pop quiz. How many rebels did we kill in Kenya during the Mau Mau rebellion?
That would be either tens or hundreds of thousand of people, depending on which account you hold as accurate. And what isn’t up for dispute is the beatings, torture, castration, or treating people as slaves (and that’s what our own people described it as - “We are slave traders and the employment of our slaves are, in this instance, by the Public Works Department.”)
Bloody hell Gary, how loud a whoosh does it have to be for you to notice it?
Maybe the tongue stuck firmly in my cheek is hindering my diction?
Many apologies for being so dense, but honestly I do hear people claiming that Britain wasn’t that bad as occupiers go.
A modest American? That must be an oxymoron.
Porn on your computer? Apparently it think’s that you are into some weird shit……being American, that’s not surprising…… Disney Porn, Dude you are weird!
Also there haven’t been pfennig for a decade in Germany.
P.S: If your computer forwards you to other websites – get it fixed – seriously!
They’re nearly as rare as (intentionally) funny Germans.
… ah well, there is Hape Kerkeling
