…“The Most Beautiful Girl in the World” as in:
Hey, did you happen to see
The most beautiful girl in the word?
And if you did, was she cryin’
Cryin’?
I can’t go on.
Who sang that, Charlie Pride? Charlie Rich? Mercifully I’ve forgotten…
Charlie Rich.
:: guiltily :: ]I like that song. A lot.
'member that old country trucker song called 10-4 This is Teddybear or something like that?
Holy shit that was bad.
Con-voy!
Must we continue bashing the decade of my teen years? Why not take a look at what our kids are requesting for their weddings and such. Anybody want to try and top “Butterfly Kisses” or “A Song For My Son”? The latter is a rather biased song towards wedding receptions and, mothers and their sons. I am looking for other recent stuff if anyone cares to barf with me!
Time to pass the barf bag I think.
I note that whilst someone has mentioned Ariel by Dean Friedman, the equally scabrous Rocking Chair has not been added. In this one, he mentions a vast number of pieces of furniture, including a cuckoo clock, table top, coffee cup - can you imagine the decor chez Friedman?
I’d also like to add Mouldy Old Dough by Lieutenant Pigeon (yup, I am getting old), a dirge-like ditty replayed on TOTP2 which featured the singer’s mother on piano.
That was Red Sovine’s “Teddybear”. A song about a handicapped (possibly dying?) kid whose only source of comfort was to use a CB radio. Guaranteed to make the biggest, hairiest trucker cry like a baby.
I detest the song Rock ‘n’ Roll Heaven. It is enough of a crime that the song itself is not Rock ‘n’ Roll, it’s the garbage that devolved to take the place of Rock. Ironically, by singing this song, the Righteous Brothers voided all claims to a place in Rock ‘n’ Roll Heaven.
I loathe the song Jazz Man if for no other reason than that this song is not Jazz. It’s a song for people who don’t actually listen to Jazz, but love it in theory. Instead they listen to lite rock, which is graveyard stew for the human soul. It tears me up everytime I see the Simpson’s episode in which this song is played after the death of Bleeding Gums Murphy, as though it was a fitting tribute to a jazz musician. I saw it rather as an insult.
Here’s a few I know are bad, bad, bad - but deep down I secretly kind of like them if only for nostalgic reasons. Ready?
“Wives and Lovers” (“hey, little girl, comb your hair, fix your makeup, soon he will open the door…don’t let him see you with hair still in curlers…”) not sure of the artiste responsible for this gem.
“The Men in My Little Girl’s Life” by Mike Douglas (“Daddy, there’s a boy outside…”)
The immortal “Honey” by Bobby Goldsboro. Also “Watching Scotty Grow.”
The one truly, truly bad song that I’m surprised no one has mentioned: “Wildfire” by one Michael Murphy.
Or, as Noel Coward put it, “Extraordinary how potent cheap music is.”
Just when I’ve thought I heard it all, sampling has created a torture device for us geezers, when they lift a riff off an old song I like and attach it to pure drivel. There’s one particularly obnoxious song that lifted the guitar intro to “Ventura Highway,” and plays it over and over and over throughout the entire song. When it comes on my son’s radio – the things a dad’s gotta do to bond with his kid! – and hear that beautiful intro, I want to hear that dem song, not this krep.
Hey, isn’t this pretty much the same thread as “Smarmy Songs” over on My Humble Opinion!? Check it out for some of my nominees, but here are a few more.
“Sexual Healing” Marvin Gaye. This one just makes me cringe.
Almost anything by Bread- this will get me in deep doo-doo with the old man. He just loves them!
“The First Cut is the Deepest”. Bad personal memories.
By the way, I really LIKE “Shannon”!
No, smarmy songs are simply a subset of songs that suck. A song can be horrible without being unctuously flattering.
Oh God, a couple hours ago I heard a song so horrible I’d blocked its very existence out of my mind all these years …
“No Tell Lover” by Chicago (at least I think that’s the title).
BLECH!
Jeezus, I read the words ‘edward bear’, and suddenly this pops into my head:
*
Thinkin’ of you, down in Mexico
Feelin’ free as the air,
and here I am, stuck in the city
still goin’ nowhere.
*
It’s scary when a ghost from thirty years ago rises up like that :eek:
Marvin Gaye, in with the class of smarmy??? I just don’t get it. “Sexual Healing” has always been a crowd pleaser. I still get many requests for it today.
The song, or just the “healing”? 
my brother-in-law has the unique ability to sing the entire catalog of C W McCall from memory. you can always count on him to regale any social gathering with such hits as “Convoy” and others i could not even imagine the titles to. you think this stuff was bad when recorded? you should get a dose of it in person!
you can! just visit the world famous, historic Wabuska Bar in beautiful downtown Wabuska, NV. a short walk to all museums and gallerys
my deepest and most sincere apologies, manduck. shit, that WAS thirty years ago, wasnt it? sniff…
when i was still buyin albums, back in the mid to late eighties, i would come across their album. the liner notes were a mini watchtower-like plug for jehovah’s witnesses.
and wow, i cant believe that i forgot to mention bobby goldsboro’s ‘honey.’ kudos to the doper who dredged it up. id rather eat a frickin bug than listen to that tune.
I love this thread! Many thanks to dear Ellen for getting me here.
I must agree with the poster who said “Having my Baby” is the worst song ever. It really is. It came out when I was like 10 and I used to dive for the radio whenever it came on. If my dad was around, I would be mortified due to the mention of “the seed inside you”.