The Sorry State of American Education, or why my kids don't get it.

My kids, their pal Garrett and I just enjoyed a wonderful breakfast of scratch pancakes, courtesy of the Toon Chef. (That would be me ).During said breakfast, I was informed of the following:

Originally Stated As Fact By Man-Cub, Fem-Bot and Garrett From Across The Field


WHAT THE HELL? I asked why they would think such a thing, and with the insousance that is the modus operandi of all pre-teens, they informed me that they saw it on the Discovery Channel, so it ** MUST BE TRUE**.

I laughed, whist inside was weeping. What has happened to my kids? I pay my school taxes, I swear I do. Why is this happening to me???

[Richard Dreyfuss in CE3K] WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE???[/Richard Dreyfuss in CE3K]


It is now incumbent upon me to scour the Internet, finding photographs of Babboons giving birth in what I must only assume will be the fairly normal primate manner.



You didn’t say how old your kids are, so this could fall under the “stupid things I believed as a kid” category.


I don’t care how old I am, I would not be happy with my pop if he showed me pictures of baboons giving birth. Along that path lies… well, if not madness, then maybe some upset stomachs. :wink:

I’m sorry, that was kind of important to the story, wasn’t it? The Man-Cub is almost 12, the Fem-Bot is 10 1/2, and [Garrett is about 10 1/2.

I’ve been reading up on this on the 'Net. While I’m fairly sure they are not in fact aliens, I am VERY disturbed the the “large circles wrought in tall grass out on the Veldt”, visible only from space that is apparently the work of Baboons.


The alternative for your kids (I’m presuming you haven’t brought them up to believe in creationism) is to live with the apalling notion that these creatures with horrendous bright red buttocks are not only of this world, but biologically very closely related to us humans. The idea that they are alien is quite comforting.

American schools aren’t responsible for what your kids learn on TV. If the schools are to blame, so are you. Trust me when I tell you, you will never question teachers as much as teachers question you. I have uttered the phrase, "What are his parents TEACHING HIM? and “His parents must be brain dead” so many times I’m beginning to believe in putting birth control in the water.

Don’t piss off a teacher, Toon, not when I’m about to spend my whole Sunday grading papers while you have pancakes with your kids.

[sub]grumble grumble[/sub]

I closed those quotation marks. Truly I did.

You might try pointing out that there were times in their younger days that they had red butts and made noises that were not of this world… Then ask them what that could mean…


Just trying to help out a friend.

<---------- Liberally spraying DanderDown, the newest Educator’s Salve. shrew, trust me when I tell you that I know the teacher’s mindset as well as you do. My Mom was a teacher for 30 years, including 25 as Special Ed. The Wifestrocity is a music teacher of 22 years. I have sub taught for months, everything from 2nd grade to 12th grade.

I meant NO insult, I was being a shocked and amused weisenheimer, and I apologize here if it got your Dander up.

I’ve got LOTS of questions for the parents of my students, but whether or not they taught their kids that Baboons birthed their calves through a heretofore unknown orifice in the sternum AIN’T ONE OF EM !!! :eek:

Hey, those kids just spent an hour living the book, “Holes”. A little hard manual labor never hurt a Primate. Sorry you are grading papers today, if your day in your town is ANYTHING like my day in my town, you should be in the back yard with a tall cuppa iced tea, a lap desk, a red pen, and those papers. Until they’re done. Then you should switch to a nice novel. Perhaps Up The Down Staircase or Cheaper By The Dozen :smiley: :smiley: :smiley:

Sincerely, and in great fear for my life,

Back from grading papers…and shoe shopping. :slight_smile:

Sorry if I was hypersensitive this morning, Toon, but thanks for the Danderdown. It’s sweeeeeeeet.

I definatly think that goes under “dumb things I believed as a kid” or “I was to stubborn to give up the arguement, even when I knew I was wrong” catagory.
I remember trying to convice my 2nd grade teacher Ice Cream was made from cold cows, and that I had seen it done when my neighbor milked his cows in the winter.
Once agin, too stubbon to say I was wrong… and dumb thing I belived as a kid. (sigh)

Bwaaaaahahahaha! That one’s so good, I just might tell it to my kids! :wink:

Mine was sort of like this, my older brother told me (and I believed him for a couple of years) when I was in kindergarten and first exposed to chocolate milk at school that chocolate milk comes from the brown cows.

=======blink blink======= Uhhh,then where DOES it come from???

:smiley: :wink:

Isn’t a Brown Cow a soda fountain specialty drink? Perhaps I’m dating myself with that question. And, more to the point, if I AM dating myself, will I get a goodnight kiss?


I thought it was a Black Cow - a root beer float? Dunno - I don’t like root beer.