The "sounds suggestive" hearts game

You’re probably wondering how we can play hearts without playing cards. Well, we can’t. This game bears only a tenuous relationship to hearts. Sorry if you were expecting a card game.
This is further corrupted by my vague understanding of how hearts works, but hey, I’ll bet we’ll have fun anyway.

Instead of suits of cards, we’ll be using categories of people or objects. The objective is to throw another suggestive sounding (but not overtly sexual) comment on to the virtual pile. Lets try to let players exhaust the category, but if your “hand” doesn’t contain any comments in the current category(i.e. you can’t think of anything), you can call for a change categories - that’s the vague relationship to hearts that I promised. Of course, another player can change it back at some point. Let’s see if this works, ok?

Category: ** Pirates**

I’d let him shiver my timbers.

Come alongside and prepare to be boarded!

There’s nothing I’d like better than to come alongside you!

Wanna walk my plank, baby?

Ever seen Goonies? Yeah? Want to see my One-Eyed Willie?

Me other leg is wood, too! Arrrr arrr…


Wanna give me some splinters?

Aaaar shipmates, you can hoist my mainbrace anytime… aaarr

olive oil!

16 men on a dead man’s chest. Yaaaar.

You look like you might need some comforting…

Is that a telescope in your pocket, or are you just pleased to see me? Aaaar!

Maybe you should come search for my hidden treasure.

I can make my cannon go off every ten minutes!

Yes, but what size balls do you use?

Arrr! Time to visit the South Seas again - warm, wet, and salty! Arrr!

Hmm… I can’t think of any more pirate innuendos…

So, I’m changing the subject to: Computers.

Do you have cable?

When my Jolly Roger goes up, you needn’t salute.

Sorry, we’re not leaving pirates without discussing my sextant.

Yarrr!! All hands on deck, time to boot up the floppy.

Ummm… what’s the category again?