The Southern Baptist Church is considering a name change: recommendations?

The BBQ Pit
1

The Southern Baptist Convention is considering a name change because the name “Southern Baptist” has very negative connotations for 35% of responders in a recent nationwide poll. Some would argue that it’s really not the name that brings such negative reactions so much as the medieval and hypocritical views of millions of its followers, but it’s a lot cheaper to make a new letterhead than it is to change back on what earns you billions per year. Article (one of many)
So any suggestions on what the new name should be?
My nominees:

HAPPY JESUS FUNLAND CHURCH!
THE UNITED FELLOWSHIP OF DEEP FRIED THEOCRACY

or maybe just tacking on a slogan-

SOUTHERN BAPTIST CONVENTION: No Slaves Owned Since 1865 (except maybe in Pat Robertson’s Diamond Mines)
Any other suggestions?

2

FUCKHEADS FOR JESUS

CHRISTIANS IN NAME ONLY

SOUTHERN NOT-HELD-DOWN-LONG-ENOUGH CHURCH

requisite lower case print so the programming won’t correct anything

3

Religion, Incorporated.
The Church of God’s Universal Love ()
() except for:
Gays
Jews
Muslims
Hindus
Liberals
Atheists
People who don’t own guns
People who vote Democratic
.
.
.

4

I take it they aren’t considering replacing “Southern” with “Westboro”.

5

Homophobes Anonymous

6

Actually they don’t care about the anonymity so much.

7

The One And Only Path To Heaven:
We are more infallible than all the Popes combined.

The only church where God believes what we tell him to.

8

“Southern Baptist Convention - Even Jimmy Carter Couldn’t Stomach Us Anymore”

9

The First Southern Church Of Y’all Goin’ To Hell.

10

SBC: like KFC, but with more fried chicken

11

I was hoping they’d pick the name first and reform the organization to match.

12

Baptist Convestion of the USA
United Baptist Convention

13

I love it.

14

THE WE LOVE JESUS (but not in a gay way) CHURCH!

15

1st Baptist Church of the South

16

It’s the way you tell 'em.

17

Baptist United Beliving Brotherhood of America.

18

The Jesus Loves Us But He Thinks You’re a Douche Church

19

The Church of Bros (scroll down to the last comic).

(Okay, I just wanted an excuse to use that comic.)

20

That’s exactly right. Do what KFC did; just start using the initials and claim it’s a whole new identity.