The Star Wars Holiday Special

Cafe Society
#1

Does anyone else remember this atrocity? It aired in November of 1978. George Lucas said if he could, he’d destroy every bootleg copy of it in existence.

I vaguely remember my sister and brother watching it. It starts off with roughly 20 minutes of Wookie gibberish, goes on to show Chewbacca’s father having virtual reality sex with Diahann Carroll, a bizarre cooking show with Harvey Korman in drag (and with four arms), Bea Arthur singing a bizarre song in the cantina… and it just gets scarier and scarier, ending with Princess Leia (played by the then heavily-drugged Carrie Fisher) singing some bizarre song to the tune of the Star Wars theme as the Wookies fly off.

In any case, it’s not one of those “so bad it’s good” things. It’s really horrifying. I downloaded it a couple of years ago (I dare not post the link) and could barely get through it. Absolutely painful.

I can’t be the only one here who was subject to this experiment in sheer horror. :eek:

  • s.e.
#2

I have it on my computer. Thank you Morpheous! I was but a 7 month old fetus at the time of the airing.

#3

I’ve got a copy. It’s the reason the phrase OH MY GOD!! was created. It is so far beyond bad, it should be used to torture enemies of the state. It can only be watched in short bursts. Any attempt to watch in all at once will result in a Scanners-type head explosion.

#4

I’ve got a copy. It’s the reason the phrase OH MY GOD!! was created. It is so far beyond bad, it should be used to torture enemies of the state. It can only be watched in short bursts. Any attempt to watch in all at once will result in a Scanners-type head explosion.

#5

You think that’s bad? I BOUGHT it! I had such fond memories of it. I was 7 when it first came on…well when it ONLY came on. The only thing that I vividly remembered was Bea Arthur singing “Goodnight, but Not Goodbye” and that kickass cartoon. Oh yes and Lumpy with his cyberporn (although back then I didn’t realize it was just a precurser to the internet.) And I remembered Harvey Corman cooking (“Stir, whip, stir, whip, whip, stir, stir”) Ok so I remembered more than I…remembered…so I ordered a bootleg from a magazine.

Oh that was painful, ripping an innocent happy memory out of my heart. If you’ve never seen it, just imagine if Phantom Menace were nothing but Jar Jar and Anakin scenes…and then have a stone-out-of-her-gourd Carrie Fisher sing the themesong. :::shudder:::

#6

Despite frantic searches on Google, I’ve come up empty.

I hate you all.

#7

Let us not forget:

  • Mark Hamill wearing so much makeup he looked like a drag queen.

  • The hugfest with Han Solo and the Chewbacca clan.

  • Hi, Opal!

  • Harvey Korman (in yet another role) pouring his drink into the hole on his head and trying to seduce Bea Arthur.

There are many more things I could recount. The horror, the horror. :eek:

  • s.e.
#8

Let’s not forget the animated short story (which, BTW, was the first appearance of Boba Fett). The quality of that animation looked like a bunch of stoned fourth-graders had put it together. Makes South Park look like Fantasia.

As my friend The Brigadier would say: "I’ve seen grown men bite their own heads off for less!"

#9

Here, this should fill you up. WITH EVIL!!

#10

I saw this when it first aired, and for the longest time couldn’t convince anybody it existed. Thank you internet! Now I can send people URLs to prove my sanity.

I’m pretty sure I liked it at the time, but I was 9 years old…

#11

Appreciated, Mr. Blue Sky, but I want to see the entire two hours, and not just stills and short excerpts. Yes, I know I will regret those words.

#12

Check out this link to a story on Salon about it.

I also happen to own it. I got it off E-Bay. I’ve watched it one (1) time. I can’t bring myself to watch it again, even for the “oh-my-God-how-horrible” factor, b/c it is so very, very horrible.

#13

Argh! The exact link I refrained from posting. I was just worried about the whole copyright-file-sharing crap. For the record, it’s in .rm format and 19 megs.

  • s.e.
#14

Oops. It’s not where I downloaded it… I’ll never tell! BWAHAHAHAHA! :smiley:

  • s.e.
#15

There’s a reasonable explanation for this: Mark was still undergoing reconstructive surgery after a car accident. That’s why the scene with the Wampa in TESB: to explain the scars on his face. Thus, in the Holiday Special (which I’ve never seen, btw), he has to wear a ton of make up, to hide his injuries.

And what’s this about Chewie’s son looking at PORN? Huh? Could someone explain?

#16

I just put on my radiation suit and asbestos gloves, trundled down into the lead-lined vault and dragged this attrocity out again.

Some interesting notes: it was directed by Steve Binder, the same man who directed Elvis’ 1968 “Comeback Special”.

One of the writers: Bruce Vilanch. I KNEW he was evil and not because he’s good friends with Whoopi Goldberg.

Dr. Smith shoulda been in this one just so he could say, “Oh, the pain of it all.”

I can understand why Lucas doesn’t want to release this. He SHOULD, since it would make Howard the Duck look like Citizen Kane.

#17

I think it was his dad, not his son.

To give it credit where credit is due, it was kind of an early interpretation of virtual reality.

#18

I don’t remember the special (I was only one), but I do remember having the Star Wars Christmas record. I remember just LOVING the “What do you buy a Wookie for Christmas?” song.

Colin

#19

Somebody e-mail me a link where you can download it. I’ve got friends I want to torture! :smiley:

#20

Have you ever watched it paying attention to the commercials? Tooys were SOOOOO much cooler then! I want that little car that follows a crayon line that you draw. And man, those GM commercials jerked me back to 7 years old so hard that my neck hurt!

I think everybody should see it before the new movie, so that by comparison, clones will look good.