Now that Mojo magic has returned the Bar Gods will smile down upon us. Wax on, Wax off ASShopper…
Appears that steeljaw has had one or four too many???
Who started this fight anyway??? Clog boy you’ve been a very bad boy …Should we start the pillaging with him and see where that takes us?
Mountain Blue swings her trusty ax and as always her aim is true, the whiskey barrel explodes all over Clog boy drenching him completely. Screw mud wrestling, we like whiskey wrestling…
She turns to Mojo and her eyes silently communicate their next move…
Now that Mojo magic has returned the Bar Gods will smile down upon us. Wax on, Wax off ASShopper…
Appears that steeljaw has had one or four too many???
Who started this fight anyway??? Clog boy you’ve been a very bad boy …Should we start the pillaging with him and see where that takes us?
Mountain Blue swings her trusty ax and as always her aim is true, the whiskey barrel explodes all over Clog boy drenching him completely. Screw mud wrestling, we like whiskey wrestling…
She turns to Mojo and her eyes silently communicate their next move…
Nice move, using a body part as a weapon. I wonder where you got that idea? Hmmmm…
Nonetheless it was a very effective weapon for murdering the english language in that feeble attempt at gangsta poetry. I know you’re only doing your best so I won’t judge you too harshly. In fact, I’m willing to extend to you the hand of friendship and reconciliation. Come over here and let’s make nice. Perhaps we could form an alliance against that Cy guy. Let me show you something I keep in my bra…
crowd gasps, remembering all the various things she has pulled out of her bra
would answer MB’s Rebel Yell, but is too busy behind the bar with Cy Coe…he is showing her verrrry interesting things to do with a dead Inuit’s hand, two lollipops, and several empty beer bottles
Mojo I know how you feel, I also hate to be kept waiting…What exactly have you pulled from your bra? No wait, let me guess…
As Mojo extends the hand of friendship and understanding to Steeljaw, her other hand is reaching in her bra, and the crowd gasps, remembering all the various things she has pulled out of her bra she smiles wickedly and pulls a very pissed off water buffalo, to whom she ties Steeljaw, just to teach him a lesson. The water buffalo takes off at a full charge, crashing into the bar and totally blowing the mood for Nocturne and Cy Coe who can’t continue with their interesting research. Mountain Blue whips the water buffalo with her trusty bullwhip and encourages him into a crazed dash through the body-draped bar while she downs another shot of JD.
emerges from the bar, chases after the water buffalo, and puts it in a full Nelson minutes later, water buffalo burgers are available for hungry Dopers returns to her amorous poetic Cy Coe
Water buffalo?, C’mon, Mojo, I expected a higher quality reaction from you. At least a bison!
And sorry, Nocturne, but this disturbance hath angered me greatly…besides, I need at least 15,000 more volts of DC current to finish the “experiment”.
:::meanders off into a corner, builds a bunker out of bodies, and creates a small thermonuclear weapon shaped like a bottle of JD:::
…Excellent…
And Steel, have no fear…I obey a no tresspassing rule in other’s relationships.
However, as for that alliance thing, well…ok. so I really don’t have anything to say to that. I suppose I could say “It doesn’t matter, I will still destroy you all!” but really, the odds wouldn’t be in my favor. I mean, I’m not THAT powerful. Sure, 4 or 5 people against me would be manageable, but anymore than that I’d have to enlist help from…The English Student Street Punks! Masters of Genres! Cliches! Puns! Feel our wrath! Feel our Pain! Spellcheck THIS!
A closer look at the past events would reveal that MountainBlue was only GUESSING that I had a water buffalo in my bra when in fact I was only trying to provide a lovely meal of roast pig and all the trimmings. And this is the thanks I get?
You are willful and insolent, and for that you must be punished.
Mojo rips the head off the roast pig (and after eating all the tasty parts) smacks CyCoe around like the boy that he is then shoves it up his…nose.
grabs Nocturne and chastises her thoroughly for being so foolish as to trust a mere Cy boy, and rips her lips and uvula off so that she won’t be able to engage in any more dead Inuit hand games for a long, long time.
Then she reaches in her bra and pulls out F**KIN GODZILLA and proceed to punish every last person in the bar living or dead except MountainBlue
See MB honey, that’s how you wupp a little ass. You still have much to learn, ASS-hopper.Come on, I’ll let you buy me a tequila and get yourself a JD. God knows we’ve earned it.
Mojo and MountainBlue grab a seat and proceed to catch up on old times.
Mojo,
I bow down to you, oh wise one. What a kick ass wench you are. We just have to get sloppy drunk and talk in depth, I’m sure I can learn how to really kick ass from you.
MB and Mojo proceed to drink many shots and talk about future ass kicking they plan to participate in.
they came to my house as part of a foreign exchange program.
I was to ensure their safety, and now look at them, body parts being used like Dave-Puck. This is just humiliating.
What kind of country do we live in where you can’t even take a tribe of eskimoes into a bar fight without having to worry about returning to a find a tribe of eskimo body parts? All they wanted was a little moose. I leave for five minutes, five friggin’ minutes and you guys just had to go and dismember them. I wouldn’t even be angry, but now I don’t get my deposit back. No live eskimoes, no deposit. That’s the rule at the exchange center where I got em.
knocks Nocturne out with her tequila-flaming, pig-face eating,Godzilla-licking breath, but when unable to release her death grip, decides to wear her like a Noc-skin coat
(Hey I never said I was a day at the beach)
Places Nocturnes lips and uvula in a zip loc baggie and deposits them in her bra
(never know when a thing like that can come in handy)
wades thru the blood, guts, mud and beer back to the least sticky table while blowing kisses to Cy, Steel and pLt
winks no hard feelings, all right? grins
Resumes her habit of drinking and punishing her liver and sighes… Yeah an ass-kicking wench’s work is never done.
*Walks by bar door, and two of the combatants stumble out and plow into him!
*Growls, “Dammit, don’t you bums pay attention?”
*Picks the two of them up by their coat collars, strides into the bar, and drops them on the nearest table.
*Growls on way out, “You run into me one more time and I’ll drop you into a sandbox!”
*Stomps out of the bar.