As things progress in most BBQ pit threads, it usually becomes less a case of “point, counterpoint” and more a case of “Fuck you! I’d gouge your eyes out with a rusty spoon if i had half a chance”
So, i’m calling for an all out brawl.
To get things started i’m gonna kidney punch the goof who thought the Bob Dylan’s Voice thread ought to be locked.
And i think i might kick some other folks in the nuts (i just gotta make sure they have 'em, why the hell isn’t there a gender thing in the profile, damnit)
[sub](Note the setting is a bar, we’ve got chairs, tables, a huge suply of bottles and an Electrified Head Bashing Mahine for those who don’t like to do the dirty work themselves)[/sub]
Alright Upham love, I’ve got your back in case those glasses try to gang up and bum rush ya’!
And what in the hell was the idea of trying to get that thread locked anyway? Yeah, people are getting pretty touchy about the whole thing, but to lock it because you think it is pointless is just not right! Who made you god or goddess?
Ogre, did you just insult my man? (Upham we’ll talk abou this new developement later)
Thems fightin’ words. Oh, I won’t get you now, I will get you when you least expect it.
I am a woman therefore, I am naturally sneaky and vendictive. I bet your scared now aren’t you?
That hurt, man! Can’t you use an empty bottle for once? Oh, yeah, and I don’t hate UncleBeer. I chose to ignore him except when he tries to mount my pet rat without a condom.
Upham, when I first noticed your posts, I was convinced you were a troll. Crams a cocktail onion up one of Uphams’s nostrils, an olive up the other, and smashes him in the nose with a bottle of cheap gin
Pit Meister, Uncle Beer was one of the ones who jumped in to defend me when I was accused of being a troll. Jams a pool cue up PM’s ass and spins him like a top
oldscratch, I’m with you on the stupid fucking joke threads, but you’re here, so I have to brutalize you. ShrugHacks open oldie’s skull, finds nothing there but pot resin and coke residue. Pees in it.
Kricket, ummm…I’m not sure what to do with a smurf dominatrix. Blue leather? Sounds interesting.
Oh, you straight boys are soooo cute when you’re miffed. Here you’re starting a little slugfest, while me and the rest of the tasteful gay boys are planning an orgy.
crashes through bar in Shooting Star. Hops out onto hood of car in fighting pose
Damn. I just wanted a beer. Well, better fight my way to the bar.
elbow in the eye for Rasa, throat strike to oldscratch, step over someone slumped on the ground, jump kicks Ogre jaw sending them flying back, ducks under a punch from Upham
Mmmmm. This’ll do. grabs a beer, picks up a stool and sits on it and drinks
DeskMonkey peeks in to see if anyone’s brought their pet Pit Bull to the fight.
Coast looks clear.
Cracks a beer open over the head of someone flying by and drinks the rest. Don’t really want to hurt anyone just yet, just watchin’. Is this seat taken, racerx?
*Una comes flying in in her black trenchcoat, leaps in mind air towards Upham. She freezes for a second, the room spins around ala “The Matrix”, and then she delivers a boot to Upham’s chin, sending him flying back into the wall. There is a resonding “CRACK!” as his head connects with a wall stud, breaking the stud. *
Woo! Now we’re talking!
Takes out nunchuks and starts re-enacting a scene from “Enter the Dragon”…
