The Great Beat The Fuck Out Of Each Other Thread

As things progress in most BBQ pit threads, it usually becomes less a case of “point, counterpoint” and more a case of “Fuck you! I’d gouge your eyes out with a rusty spoon if i had half a chance”

So, i’m calling for an all out brawl.

To get things started i’m gonna kidney punch the goof who thought the Bob Dylan’s Voice thread ought to be locked.

And i think i might kick some other folks in the nuts (i just gotta make sure they have 'em, why the hell isn’t there a gender thing in the profile, damnit)
[sub](Note the setting is a bar, we’ve got chairs, tables, a huge suply of bottles and an Electrified Head Bashing Mahine for those who don’t like to do the dirty work themselves)[/sub]

HOLY SHIT!

There’s no one else in here? That * PISSES ME OFF! *

:: Grabs a chair and starts beating the crao out of the jukebox ::

Man, i cant hit Brunette!!!

Maybe i’ll just start smashing these glasses… but i’ve got this urge to stomp on someones face…

Don’t you know it takes two kidney punches to open, and that should be a rusty fork, not a spoon.

Anything less is playing Old Maid.

Not to worry, though. Hold on a sec and I’ll look up the link for the Hoyle site pit fighting rules.:smiley:

Alright Upham love, I’ve got your back in case those glasses try to gang up and bum rush ya’!

And what in the hell was the idea of trying to get that thread locked anyway? Yeah, people are getting pretty touchy about the whole thing, but to lock it because you think it is pointless is just not right! Who made you god or goddess?

Hmm…

This thread is way, way too peaceful

:::picks up a bottle and chucks it at someone random, say, Pit Meister::::

TAKE THAT UNCLE BEER HATER!!! (heh heh heh, that should get things going)

What the hell.

Lurches into the bar, red-eyed and infuriated.

“Where the hell is that Canadian halfpint?”

Spots Upham across the bar. Stomps up and smacks him around a few times.

“I’m gonna hit you so hard, it’ll make your mama cry.”

Ogre plants one hamfist right between Upham’s eyes. There is a sound very much like a watermelon getting creamed by an 80 mph semi.

Now, tell me the three common words in English that end with -gry!

::wanders in from the street, looks around for aha::
Nope, no brawl in here, yet…
::wanders out::

Ogre, did you just insult my man? (Upham we’ll talk abou this new developement later)

Thems fightin’ words. Oh, I won’t get you now, I will get you when you least expect it.
I am a woman therefore, I am naturally sneaky and vendictive. I bet your scared now aren’t you?

That hurt, man! Can’t you use an empty bottle for once? Oh, yeah, and I don’t hate UncleBeer. I chose to ignore him except when he tries to mount my pet rat without a condom.

Pit - i figured if it didn’t knock you out or break on contact you could drink it, consider it a half favor

Now, lets spill some blood!

What the fuck is with stupid joke threads.
:leaps across the table, jams his fist up Upham’s urethra, yanks out his prostate, and stomps on it:

Now we’re talking!

Upham, when I first noticed your posts, I was convinced you were a troll. Crams a cocktail onion up one of Uphams’s nostrils, an olive up the other, and smashes him in the nose with a bottle of cheap gin

Pit Meister, Uncle Beer was one of the ones who jumped in to defend me when I was accused of being a troll. Jams a pool cue up PM’s ass and spins him like a top

oldscratch, I’m with you on the stupid fucking joke threads, but you’re here, so I have to brutalize you. Shrug Hacks open oldie’s skull, finds nothing there but pot resin and coke residue. Pees in it.

Kricket, ummm…I’m not sure what to do with a smurf dominatrix. Blue leather? Sounds interesting.

Well, I might be skinny and waiflike, but I can kick and bite and scratch like a fury…

It’s ok, Upham, I’ve got your back. :wink:

Oh, you straight boys are soooo cute when you’re miffed. Here you’re starting a little slugfest, while me and the rest of the tasteful gay boys are planning an orgy.

Amateurs.

:wink:

Esprix

crashes through bar in Shooting Star. Hops out onto hood of car in fighting pose

Damn. I just wanted a beer. Well, better fight my way to the bar.

elbow in the eye for Rasa, throat strike to oldscratch, step over someone slumped on the ground, jump kicks Ogre jaw sending them flying back, ducks under a punch from Upham

Mmmmm. This’ll do. grabs a beer, picks up a stool and sits on it and drinks

DeskMonkey peeks in to see if anyone’s brought their pet Pit Bull to the fight.

Coast looks clear.

Cracks a beer open over the head of someone flying by and drinks the rest. Don’t really want to hurt anyone just yet, just watchin’. Is this seat taken, racerx?

*Una comes flying in in her black trenchcoat, leaps in mind air towards Upham. She freezes for a second, the room spins around ala “The Matrix”, and then she delivers a boot to Upham’s chin, sending him flying back into the wall. There is a resonding “CRACK!” as his head connects with a wall stud, breaking the stud. :wink: *

Woo! Now we’re talking!

Takes out nunchuks and starts re-enacting a scene from “Enter the Dragon”…

matt swishes in and bitch-slaps everybody he hates