Dibs! I call dibs on all men in loincloths! DIIIBS!!!
…especially if they have that bald-with-a-goatee thing happening…
Hey, Bunny, I thought the idea was to join him?
Now if you really want to make this interesting for us spectators on the porch, maybe a game of Strip Paintball[sup]TM[/sup], hmmm? Every shot you take and miss, off goes some of that sexy camo… 
Don’t even think you can get away from me that easy, boy. I was on our swim & dive team in high school and you forget I was in the Navy. 
As Tripler sneaks into the bushes, he steps neatly into the rope that screech left lying for him, thereby tripping the wire and hauling him bare-a**ed into the air by his left foot. A wet Bunny and a snickering screech walk up to him, arm-in-arm.
Now, really, Tripler, we don’t want to hurt you…just…play with you a bit. Let’s cut 'im down, screech, this’ll be fun.
Actually Paul that was my thought, but then she mentioned paintball and I forgot all about it in my bloodlust. 
Sounds like the blood part is over…is this where the lust comes in?
It might be. screech and I still need to figure out something to do with our captive Tripler. Shall we bring him up by the pool so everyone can observe?
Not that I’m sayin’ anything. We haven’t decided what his punishment will be yet.
Camouflage outfit…$98
Paintball gear and ammo…$127
Catching a nekkid Marine and having your way with him in front of an entire hope of Dopers…Priceless
…house of Dopers…
or maybe …hopeful Dopers…
You know, we’ve got this here bowling alley, what with it’s shiny, waxed floors. We have the sound system and the black lights and the glow-in-the-dark bowling balls and pins. Oh, and we got beer.
We also have folks who want a little ballroom dancing. And that dancing needs the same kind of floors.
All I’m saying is, hey, your chocolate’s in my peanut butter.
{b]Sophie**, that’s an excellent suggestion!!!
Bunny, screech, Sophie says you should cover him in chocolate and peanut butter…whaddya think?
Miss, we have to wait for thinksnow to get back. He’s going to give me dance lessons! However, I do have the most divine dress ready: a sleeveless black velvet dress (like the ones the models wear on the Black Velvet whiskey billboard) and some lovely Jimmy Choo shoes (bottom left corner).
Plus, my pearls. You’ve got to wear pearls with black velvet. And the black does set off my green eyes so well. Will Cartooniverse be catering for us tonight? He’s just divine!
[sup]…or a mans behind behind, as the case may be.[/sup]
Surfacing stealthily, SCUBAsnow shoots silenced shots screaming straight and true and sinks silently sub-subsurface shortly after sighting the substantial splatter.
<Bunny and crew are soaked in paint, bewildered and clueless as to their assailant>
<running of in various directions, they leave they’re prey unattended as RESCUEsnow rushes in>
*My name is Luke Skywalker, I’m here to rescue you! wait, uh…just come on, we’re getting out of here.
*
“No, let me face the peril.”
*
Far too perilous.
*
<with a deft swipe of his K-Bar, ASSAULTsnow frees Trip from a fate barely imaginable>
<darting back to the safety of the water, RETREAT&COVERsnow glances back to see Trip tying his hands up again and laying down, waiting for his captors.>
Well, you can only do so much.
Absolutely. It’s too quiet over here - nobody’s been skinny-dipping in hours.
I’ve been wondering what the ruckus was; I was just about to climb yonder tree and observe the goings-on. Looks like it’s about time for you ladies to haul up and measure your catch.
You know, some of the male Dopers would certainly, truly and 100% whole-heartedly appreciate that sight. I’m just guessing here.
So, there will be chocolate & peanut butter wrestling? Or would that be wrasslin’?
[sub]Ya know, I leave for an hour for a real-life doctor’s appointment and what do I find? I missed a hell of a lot of fun! Thanks for covering for me![/sub]
HA!!! Fresh prey!!! BunnyGirl, keep Tripler covered [sub]so to speak, heh heh heh[/sub].
::takes off after thinksnow::
Oooh, yowza! I’m not one for donorcycles, but this is intriguing. Thanks, Paul. Here, pull her in between the Chrysler Turbine Car (yep, the only Bronze Blowtorch still in operating condition) and the Eldorado Brougham. Maybe tomorrow we can head out to the SDMB dragstrip and convert some dead dinosaurs into fun.
<Homer>Mmmmmm. . .garlic. </Homer> Throw a couple Yuengling Lagers in that cooler, willya? I’ll join you as soon as I get out of these coveralls and get the grease out from under my fingernails.
Can’t stay too long, though. I heard there’s going to be dancing later on and I’m hoping for a tango with Ginger. Or maybe BunnyGirl. Black velvet and green eyes. . .humina humina humina!
Anybody mind if I pick a boutoniere (sp?) for my dinner jacket and a rose for my teeth from the greenhouse?
Your friend in fins,
Zappo
>Blush City<. Of course I’ll be catering the late night snacks. However, a few important details.
-
I adore Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups. Let us not bicker. For one thing, the ballroom is on the SECOND sub-level, allowing for greater ventilation, NOT to mention the fact that because the House is on a hill, there are windows along one wall of the Ballroom.
-
The bowling alley is on the fourth sub-level. Hell, the darker the better. No air flow, so that reeking skanky smell of stale beer and old floor wax hits your nostrils like the 1st Cav. Never the twain shall meet, for you two not only have separate FLOORS, but separate Floorzoni’s as well. Much like the famed Zamboni, it’s a ride-on floor waxer and buffer. Rides to the select elite few lucky ones.
-
Zappo??? Not only do we have 3 cases of Yuengling Lager and 3 cases of Yuengling Pale Ale, but we have the large and lovely glass beer mugs to go with it. I’m not much of a beer man, but I do love my Vitamin Y. Also, doncha love how at the end of the brewery tour, MR. YUENGLING HIMSELF is tending bar? God, I love that.
-
I’ll be circulating throughout the house, with trays of finger foods from 8:30-11:30p.m. After that, you’re all on your own as far as food. Each floor has a double wide Sub-Zero fridge, stocked with each of your fave foods. The plan at this point is shrimp cocktail, followed by ecru d’ite. A dip of goat cheese and creme fraiche will be available. No double dipping, it’s poor form.
Home baked chocolate chip cookies will appear around 10:30. Baklava at 11:15. Warm hand towels at 11:30.
That about covers it. I could use some volunteers to help with the serving, it’s a lonely job and sometimes a man craves a bit of conversation. It’s especially lonesome whilst I sit in the kitchen, carefully filling sliced celery sticks with peanut butter ( thought I forgot, huh?? HUH??? )
“I’m sssorry, I pear to haf barfed on…in th spa…where are all th bew-tiful wimmin?”
Sure, I’ll help out in the kitchen, Cartooniverse. Whatcha want, some spuds peeled? How about I tackle the 10
foot stack of dishes? I think I’ll join MissBhavin on the dance floor later. Can we have a little Latino music as well? I just learned Salsa and Meringe, and I’m dying to move my feets!
I fear that after I bowl, my hair will be a fright. This will not keep me from it one bit; however, we’ll need a little fixin’ up, no?
We need a salon in this joint.
See, 'cuz I wanna dance, too.
So, I’d like a salon somewhere in the vicinity of the upper-most of this house (I mean, as long as I’m asking). It needs a few good stylists from Paris and a frequently-stocked closet filled with anything we might need, from ruby slippers to fuzzy slippers. And lots of sequinned ballgowns, am I right?
My hair isn’t long enough for an up-do, but if Jacques doesn’t mind finger waves, I can totally vamp out for this.
heads for the bowling alley while Jacques consults with Kevin Aucoin on tonight’s make up
Has anyone else noticed that this night is going on and on and on…?