LAST CALL FOR ALCOHOL
You don’t have to go home, but you 'aint sleeping here!
this means you, ChiDopers!
B-13, B13…
G-49, G49…
No, Mrs. Ignatowski, you can’t have Bingo yet. I’ve only called 2 numbers. Read your card better, dear.
Can a staff member please help Mrs. Ignatowski read her card?
I-21, I21…
ATTENTION. YOUR ATTENTION PLEASE.
EUTYCHUS55 HAS LEFT THE FORUM.
THAT IS ALL.
Heeeeeeeeeey, good lookin’! We’ll be back to pick you up later!!!
[sub]I’m so embarrassed that I remembered that…
Trans American flight 209 from Los Angeles is now arriving at gate 12. Gate 13. Gate 14. Gate 15…
Francesca’s Second Law in action!
Actually, I was thinking of the original commercial for Mr. Microphone[sup]TM[/sup]… I’d forgotten it was used on the Simpsons…
[/annoying muzak]
Attention SDMB shoppers. Please come over to the grand opening of our brand new forum, Cafe Society. Your moderators Eutychus55 and Ukelele Ike have all of the latest opinions in stock on everything from movies to art to literature to the Family Circus. Head on over and get some for yourself! And for our grand opening special, we’re featuring two-ton boxes of circus peanuts, at just two for $1.99.
[annoying muzak]
**
and, of course…
May I have your attention please?
This is Sergeant Tim Mccarthy for the Indiana State Police. On your way home from this afternoon’s game, please remember to be courteous to the other drivers and obey all of the rules of the road. If you’re drinking, please don’t drive. And follow the directions of the police officers when crossing the road outside the stadium. Remember, anyone who tries to bolt through traffic… is a real nut.
Attention. These are the SDMB School Announcements for August 29, 2001.
The lunch special today (for the third day in a row) from UncleBeer is beer. Big surprise, folks.
Incoming Troll Orientation continues today in the BBQ Metal Shop with Alphagene. So if you hear screaming coming from that area of building, don’t be alarmed. In totally unrelated news, I’m sure, the Senior SDMB Photographers Club would like to announce an exhibition of their most recent work. The showing is entitled, “Tools of Satan”.
Beloved Moderator JillGat has changed her name to Jill Magruder. She blatantly denies it’s because someone published her admission of being puked on at a carnival, but we know better.
The Marine Corps Band will be performing Tchaikovsky’s 1812 Overture, complete with live artillery, at 7:00 p.m. Saturday October 27, in thinksnow’s apartment, to be followed immediately by the Mormon Tabernacle Choir in conjunction with the New York Philharmonic performing Mozart’s Requiem. Tickets are available in the office; seating is limited. Sponsored by “Harry Buffalo”.
Finally, would whoever left the “GRY” question in GQ please come to Manny’s office? He has a special reward for you.
[tap tap tap]
Testes, testes…
One, two…
Testes, testes…
…Gate 22. 23. 24. 25…
/hijack/
I always thought Bach’s Organ Fugue in D Minor would be appropriate…but probably too loud. 
/end hijack/
“Attention Mr. Botha. Mr. P. W. Botha. Please pick up a white courtesy telephone.”
You mean the Toccata and Fugue, dear.
“His computer’s off. Luke, you’ve turned off your targeting computer!”