This is where my employees can look for me when I’m not around.
The Daily Holiday
All your standard Holiday specialties served every day. Turkey (With stuffing cooked inside the turkey), mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, walsdorf salad, cranberry sauce (straight from the can in can shape), mama stambergs cranberry relish, pumpkin and pecan pie will cover most thanksgivings. Roast beef, ham, latke, yorkshire pudding, sailor duff pudding, Christmas pudding, complimentry Christmas cookies, should cover Christmas. Of course everone has their own traditions that I’ll have to adapt. Roast duck was our Easter tradition. Burgers, BBQ and Key Lime pie for 4th of July. Birthday cake every day. We’ll even cover holidays that I’m not familiar with, just tell me what the tradition is.
Christmas fruitcake must be on the menu. This way, diners can order it as a gift for another table. That other table will regift it to yet another table, and so on, and so on.
You should only need one fruitcake, of course. 
You will need cozy, candlelit tables for two for Valentine’s Day, and spooky, cobwebbed draped tables for Halloween.
Good ideas. The waiters/waitresses will also ask questions like, “Hows your new job?”, “When are you going to get married?”, “I had two kids and a steady job by the time I was your age.”
You’ll also need a big screen TV so the guys can watch the football game and the women can fume.
No… I’d suggest getting a breeding pair - there are those mutants that like, and eat fruitcake. My father is one. Of course, even with the relatively slow reproductive rate that even a pair of fruitcakes in the prime of their lives have, that will likely be more than enough.
the question is, what’s the half-life of fruitcake? and are it’s ultradense properties caused by it’s being composed mainly of Dark Matter?
JustAnotherGeek’s Not Just Another Diner.
Classic diner motif, but everything is twisted around.
Meatloaf (platter or sandwich): Do you want Classic, Chililoaf, Meatballloaf, Turkey Terriaki Loaf, or the Loaf of the Day?
Burgers: (All meat ground in batches throughout the day)
Plain (pickle optional)
Cheeseburger (Cheddar, Swiss, Provalone, Mozzerella, or All of the Above)
Bacon Burger (Not just one or two slices - six slices of bacon)
BBQ Burger (This ain’t just a patty with sauce from a jar - a good dry rub gets mixed in, then a layer gets rubbed on at the last minute; smoked cheddar on top with just a glaze of good BBQ sauce)
Reuban Burger (Cole Slaw and Thousand Island Dressing on a sourdough bun)
Mushroom Burger (Red wine reconstituted dried mushroom medley diced and added to the meat, topped with aged swiss cheese, sauteed portobellas and shittakes, and caramelized onions)
LamBurger (1/2 beef, 1/2 lamb so it doesn’t sit in the gut like a brick, served in a pita, with red onion slices, tatziki, and feta)
Salmon Burger (Ground salmon, marinated in Balsamic Vinegar and Honey) topped with homemade tartar sauce and fresh frenched red onions.
Shoestring or Sweet Potato Fries
Soups of the Day: One Beef, One Chicken, One Veggie.
Steaks, Chicken, Pork Chops grilled how you like 'em.
A small assortment of rotisseried food: Chicken, Turkey, Pork Loin, and a variety of Sausages.
Breakfast all the time - but again - twisted fare.
Quiche (Bacon, spinach and Parm / sausage and cheese / cheese and potato), french toast casserole, cereal parfaits, homemade breakfast bars, Cowboy Eggs Benedict (Fresh bacon jalepeno cornbread, Spider John’s Pulled Pork and BBQ sauce, and two poached eggs), Muffins (as is or grilled)
Desserts: All homemade.
Deep Dish Apple Pie with Cinnamon ice cream
Chocolate Silk Pie with Cappuccino Chocolate Chip ice cream
Peach Bourbon Pie with Vanilla ice cream so creamy that it’d be butter if it didn’t have sugar
Warm Cinnamon Sticky Roll with Maple Pecan ice cream.
The Dentist’s Delight: Vanilla ice cream, drizzled with Honey, dusted with Cinnamon Sugar and served with a Sugar Cookie
I now appear to be hungry…and drooling
Black and whites are cookies with one side vanilla and the other chocolate. You can find them in lots of NYC bakeries.
Entemenn’s still makes a delicious version of this. I find it on the shelves once in a while.
Honey cake is loaf like cake traditionally served on Rosh Hashanah to symbolize the sweetness of the new year.
:smack:
Quick…someone open a dog-friendly restaurant! We can feed them the bones from Rico’s restaurant!
A Balanced Meal will have a dog-friendly section (probably the porch/patio area). All tables will receive baskets of hushpuppies whether a dog is present or not, so it’s up to you how much you want to share with the pooch.
Doggie guests are invited to assist in the cleanup after the regular fish-fries. (I’ve never known them to be much use after a crawfish boil, however.)
Perhaps a resteraunt that serves various preparations of SPAM! Other things will be on the menu of course, but you just try and order it.