Long story short; I have two 6-8 page papers and two 2-3 page papers due this week. Not a completely impossible workload, but still something that causes stress.
Normally, I wouldn’t be this completely stressed out; it’s just been a rough week-and-change. On Monday, I found out that my dad got laid off, something we’d been dreading/expecting for a while, yet my parents failed to do ANYTHING about. My dad doesn’t even have a current resume. We’ve been worried about this since Christmas of last year; I’d assumed that my parents had done something. Hell, even I’d done what I could, loading up on classes so I could get out of school relatively quickly should the shit hit the fan.
What have my parents done? Nothing. No extra savings, no resume typed up, no scrimping, nothing. They bought a new washer that we didn’t need a few months ago. They bought a new computer that we didn’t need then, too. I’d thought that this was some part of a larger plan…but no. There is no plan.
My school’s paid through the semester, but I’m going to have to be doing some serious negotiating with the financial aid people here to cover next semester. My parents won’t do it for me (which is fine). However, my parents also refuse to give me specifics about their financial condition (which makes negotiating kind of hard–I can’t GIVE specifics, only what I remember glimpsing on the last FAFSA we filled out). This is driving me bat shit nuts.
I’ve informed my roommates of this situation (not all the nuances, just that my dad lost his job, money’s gonna be tight, I’m going to be a little stressed). Yet three days later, my roommate, my friend from home, and I go out to a hunting store (just to look at the swords); before we go, this roommate insists that, on the way back, we stop at Wal-Mart to pick up Drano.
Now, me, I’m perfectly content to have a partially clogged sink. I hardly ever use the damn thing (I certainly wasn’t the one putting used Nair down there). But, hey, I figure, it needs to be done, we can go to Wal-Mart and go in together for it.
We get there and she starts looking at the most expensive stuff, then says “I don’t have any money on me.”
WTF? Um, you were the one who was all gung-ho about cleaning the sink. And you were the one who put the used Nair and God-Knows-What-Other-Crap down there. Going to Wal-Mart now was your idea, and you had it when we were still in the freakin’ room. I kind of assumed that we’d BOTH be paying for this.
And, um, didn’t you hear me when I said “my dad just lost his job; money’s going to be tight for me until he gets a new one?” That means that ::gasp:: my parents aren’t sending me money anymore. And since I don’t currently have a job, I’m going to have to go and find one as soon as this week is over just so I have money for gas and the phone bill.
Anyway, whatever. I figure that since I’m paying for it, I can pick whichever cleaning material I want. And what I want is the cheap generic brand. It worked just fine, although my roommate bitched about it when I said it was this or nothing.
I was fine footing the bills and shit when I had a steady stream of dinero from my parents. Now, however, I’m not so fine. I can’t fucking afford it! I’m budgeting EVERYTHING right now. I’m actually considering LETTING my boyfriend pay for shit on occaision. You don’t know me that well, but you should know that for me to ever let anyone pay for me without putting up a good fight is just about unheard of.
Then, today, I get back to the room. Lately, I’ve been getting a lot of headaches, because the prescription on my glasses is a bit off, especially on my right eye. Of course, right now, I can’t GET new lenses without feeling totally guilty about spending my parents’ money, so there isn’t much I can do about it (100 dollars on new glasses–which is what it’d probably be) just isn’t feasible for me right now. So I’m getting headaches damn near every day. That’s why I’ve been lying down.
That’s also why I’ve been taking Tylenol every day, almost. I’ve also informed my roommates of this situation. I’ve told them that I have a lot of stuff to do this week, as well, so I’m going to need some quiet time. I give them quiet time all the time.
So what do they decide to do when I sit down today to work on my 6-8 page paper, due tomorrow? And why am I writing this rant?
THEY PUT ON A 90+ MINUTE ANIME MUSIC VIDEO!
Look, I have no problems with AMVs. Some of my nearest and dearest make them. I think that a lot of them are really, really good, and I respect the artistic talent that goes into making them. However, that doesn’t mean that I want to hear techno-mix-whatever music for 90 minutes when I have a fucking headache that feels like it’s turning into a migraine and a 6-8 page paper on Karl Marx and Max Weber due tomorrow, and a shitload of stuff due later on this week, and this paper is the one that’s REALLY bogging me down, and it sucks and I DON’T WANT TO LISTEN TO THIS CRAP!
It’s come to this; an AMV has made me snap. And it’s only Monday. This week is going to suck. I’m probably going to be a weeping mess at the end of it. Then, of course, I’m going to have to start applying for a job–as soon as I convince the Financial Aid office that I’m now eligible for work-study. If that doesn’t work, I’ll have to get an off-campus job. This’ll probably mean late nights (in addition to my heavy courseload) or weekends (which means I’ll never get to game or see my at-home friends or my boyfriend).
Anyway, I’m going to have to skedaddle. Marx is calling me. At least now I’m coherent enough to write.