I appreciate that being in front of a TV camera and potentially an audience of several million can be off putting, but there is no excuse for some of these answers… Q In what decade is That 70’s Show set? A The 60s
Q Where was the Gettysburg Address signed? A Maine
(this was on a show called Family Fortunes, where guests on the show have to guess what the most popular answers given by the public were)
Q Name a bird with a long neck A Naomi Campbell
Q Name something that is green in the garden A My shed
Don’t these programs have some way of weeding out the thickies?!
There was one guy on Family Fortunes who was asked “name something you share with your spouse”. He answered “shoes”.
Later he was asked to name a song with “moon” in the title. He answered “Blue Suede Shoes”. Seemed a little weird to me.
If you get the Game Show Network, check out old re-runs of The Newlyweds Game. Not only are the contestants stupid, they’re usually dressed in the height (or depths) of '70s “pillar of salt” fashion. By which I mean, look too closely at those leisure suits, and you might turn into one. In a single episode, I heard the following gems:
(For those not familiar with the show, three recently married couples compete to see who knows the most about their new spouse. First all the woman are asked questions about their husbands, and then the husbands are brought back into the studio to see how well they scored. Then the wives leave and the husbands answer questions about them. Viewers are invited to make odds on which couple is most likely to slug it out when they get home.)
Q: “What’s your husband’s favorite rodent?”
One woman answered:
A: “A scorpion?”
Her husband answered:
A: “Red.”
On that same question, both other women answered “A mole.”
Same show, different couple:
Q: “We asked your husband, ‘How many cavities does your wife have?’ What do you think he said?”
A: “Well, I’m just one big cavity, so…”
The third couple:
Q: “What’s the wildest thing you two did on your honeymoon.”
Her answer was skinnydipping. Fair enough. His answer?
A: “We had a hot fudge sundae.” Woo! Slow down, cowboy!
This last husband scored off the charts on the “Future Domestic Abuser” scale. He was getting way too worked up when his wife guessed wrong (even when the questions were about her) and had this disturbing Anthony Perkins air to him. Kind of wonder if anyone ever checked under his floorboards for missing persons.
I once saw a Newlywed Game where the question was, “From what direction does the sun rise in your neighborhood?” IIRC, all the contestants had to think about it: “Well, let’s see, our bedroom window faces north <turning body, trying to imagine the room>. . .” One couple actually both said “south,” and since they matched, they got the points. I swear I’m not making this up – I really saw it!
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“That would be up the butt, Bob”
Once, I was watching Family Feud. Much the same program as Family Fortunes, it sounds. This one’s permanently ingrained in my memory as the single funniest retort I ever heard on a game show. This was toward the end of the show, the Lightning Round, or whatever they called it. The host asks the contestant a question. The contestant is attempting to pick the most popular answer, from a survey of 100 people.
Q: Name an animal with many legs.
A: An Alligator.
The host’s eyes rolled as he asked the next questions.
When they were tallying this gentleman’s “score”, or rather, lack thereof, the following exchange happened:
Host: 100 people surveyed. The question was: Name an animal with many legs. You said: Alligator. SURVEY SAYS!?
BUZZ! Contestant got the gooseegg.
Host: That’s too bad, the #1 answer was Crocodile.
I almost fell over laughing at that. I know for a fact I shot beer out of my nose.
I saw this on a wacky-TV-game-show-moments special:
Q: Name something you find in a bird cage
A: Hamster
And I was watching Louie Anderson’s Family Feud a couple of weeks ago, and it had the category to the effect of attributes of Gumby (has a horse named Pokey, is green, made of clay, etc.) Well, there were two interesting ones: “He uses a rope,” and (they made fun of this one all through the show) “he floats around the floor.”
Last fall, my wife and I were in England and were very amused with their quiz shows. For instance, On their “Who wants to be a millionaire” a question that for us would be worth $100, for them would be worth $32,000. Case in point "Who was the first American president? a) Jefferson b) Lincoln c) Washington d) Taft. But the best was a show with an emcee that my wife called “the quiz show bitch”. Contestants were asked a series of questions and were eliminated after each round by a vote of all the contestants. It was rather complicated and I don’t remember how it worked. The point is however that the QSB would make very insulting remarks to anyone making a wrong answer, hesitating before answering or just for the hell of it. It didn’t seem that anyone minded and they all seemed to be having a great time.
$1,000 dollar question (if not $1,000, then one below)
Q. How many states are there in the United States
a 50
b 48
c 51
d 49
The contestant objects to the host, Regis, and I’ll paraphrase here: Regis, that’s not specific enough. Regis replies by saying, “Well, let’s read it again.”
Q. How many states are there in the United States?
Contestant is getting nervous, objecting still. He wants to know if the writers mean the whole United States. Regis just replies by reading the question again.
Contestant is getting aggravated, implying it’s a loaded question. Regis keeps prompting him with the question and the contestant is nervous to answer.
The contestant, it appears, is afraid the answer is “48” and is afraid that the question is really inquiring about how many States there are in the connected/contiguous United States.
He nervously answers “50” and goes on to win big money.
At $1,000 or less, what was this guy thinking? “Ooh, Millionaire is trying to trick me with a non-trick!” Or, did he think theree are really 48 “United” States and 50 total?
This may have been a dream, but I have a nasty feeling it was reality.
I was flipping channels some years ago and passed by The New Family Feud (same as the old, but without the redeeming presence of Richard Dawsan, a host so smarmy he was actually charming). Anyway, the question:
Name a country in South America!
Contestant says: Rio!
It was the number one answer. I think the number 2 was Mexico.
Most of my work involves National Parks and/or Forests and we are forever on the hunt for the most absurd or idiotic question. Consider the following contestants…
Asked at Glacier National Park: “What time do the glaciers go by?”
Asked at Grand Canyon N.P.: “Where’s the elevator to the bottom?”
Asked at Mesa Verde N.P. (home of many Native American artifacts): “Why did the Indians make so many ruins instead of useful stuff?” “Are the Indians making any more ruins?” “Can I get the Indians to make me some ruins?”
Asked at Yellowstone N.P.: “What time do you turn on Old Faithful?” “What time do you let the wild animals out?”
There are loads more, but these were the ones I could remember off of the top of my head.
BTW–Don’t you love watching the Millionaire show and cheering against stupidity and ignorance? I’m such a jerk–I get really mad a people if they don’t know the answer to a question that I think everyone should know (like that one about Hannibal and the elephants). Shadenfreud (sp?) or something like that in German means “shameful joy”–taking pleasure in something you really shouldn’t like applauding other people’s misfortune when they have to leave with zero.
I was watching family feud a long time ago and the ending round there was a question something like ‘What is the creepiest insect’. The guy said SPIDER. I then muttered 'what an idiot everyone knows a spider is not a …DING #1 answer!!
Umm, no. Take a listen to the music the kids play and the the concerts they go to. It’s early 70’s stuff. So are the cars. And leisure suits are also 70’s style, no 60’s.
Someone had a few too many before reading the O.P. it looks like
See, UncleBeer, the point is: (ready?) That was an inexcusably dumb answer! It’s “That 70’s Show”, for God’s sake! Ha! Sober up before posting, you lush!
