The Stupidest Thing I Overheard Today: The Grocery Store Edition

The scene is this:

I am standing at the seafood counter at Publix, a local grocery store chain. I approach the counter roughly the same time as an older woman, and being generous I motion to the clerk behind the counter to assist her first.

She is eyeing the king crab legs, which are on sale on this particular day, for $6.99 a pound, or something like that. She says to him, “How many legs do you get for a pound?”
“Roughly 4 or 5, depending on size,” he replies.

Then comes the kicker.

“Do you subtract the weight of the shell?”

“No, ma’am, we don’t.”

She begins to get upset. Huffy even. Incredulous, she retorts, “Well, don’t you think that’s a little bit unfair? I mean, you’re paying about an 8th of a pound right there just for the shell. I think that’s ridiculous!”

I honestly didn’t know what to say. I looked at him. Looked back at her. Back to him, begging him to say something. Back to her. I finally said, aloud, “Are you freaking kidding me?!?”

She bought the crab legs anyway. I was tempted to ask the guy behind the counter if he subtracted the weight of the skin on my salmon when he weighed it, but I thought against it.

But jesus christ. :smack:

You could have told her that shell-less King Crabs are exceedingly rare, and therefore prohibitively expensive.

The proper answer, in that situation, “They are $35.99 per pound without the shell, ma’am, but $6.99 shell on”. It’s a ludicrous statement, but would have shut her up most likely.

I wonder if she takes her in the shell peanuts up and complains about the shell weight?

She also had difficulty determining which of the shrimp were already cooked: the bright pink ones, with the sign that said “ready-to-eat”, or the grey ones with the sign indicating “raw shrimp”. I wonder if she complained about the package weight of everything that was priced that way.


You should have asked her if she expects them to subtract the weight of the bones when she buys a chicken.

Or the bone on a ham hock.

Aren’t crab shells good for making seafood broth? It’s not like they’re toxic waste – they’re good for something.

Probably, but this broad didn’t appear to have the capacity to be that resourceful.

I’m going to nominate myself on this one. . . only because it’s worth intelligent mention.

My fiancee and I were in a Toys 'R Us one night, buying some Easter presents, when I flashed a couple of $10 bills and said, “Yeah babe, sometimes you gotta drop a Hamilton!”

::she gives me a quizzical look::

I say, “Yeah, ‘a Hamilton’. You know, the guy that shot Raymond Burr!”


Granted, I meant well . . .

I bought two pounds of the bright pink on-sale cooked shrimp at a Publix today; we ate shrimp all afternoon while drinking a bottle of Chateau St. Michelle Chardonay. Later, about an hour ago, we had two steaks from Publix and a bottle of Chateau St. Michelle Cabernet Sauvignon. Marcie has already crashed and I’m just about to.

Honestly, how can anyone argue “If there were such a thing as time travel, we’d see visitors from the future amongst us”. They ARE amongst us - they’re trying to fit in, but they’re so alien to our culture that they can’t help asking asinine questions such as “do you subtract the weight of the shell?” Perfectly reasonable question coming from someone coming from a future world where crabs don’t exist anymore.

And what about the pits in cherries, hmmm? And those banana skins are darned heavy…

That explains the wheelchair.

Good Christ, you’re onto something there.

Yeah. It also makes sense that everyone in the future is really old.

I think you were being crabby. :eek:

This is the same lady that will ask one of the stock boys to cut the tops of them leeks off since they’re sold by weight. Or will buy 6 portobella mushrooms and then you’ll walk over to the display and find all the stems in the box.
My usual answer to anything like that is (Why do I have to pay for the shells, why do I have to pay for the tops that I can’t eat, why do I have to pay for the stems) That’s the way we buy them and that’s what the price is based on. We can buy/sell them without the shell/stem/top but they’ll just be more expensive.

There are enough grocery threads here today to inspire me to go shopping. I’m gonna ask 'em to debone my chickens, depeel my bananas, gonna go through the express lane with 30 items, block the aisles, gonna let my toddler run free, put my purse in the cart seat, hell, I might even ask for a shell-less lobster!

VIVA LA REVOLUTION! (or something)

Depeel? Is that putting the peel back on the banana? :wink: Sounds kinda like de-scrambling eggs.

Joey P, presumably to deal with people like you’ve noted, I’ve seen in the past broccoli florets that have had the stems removed at an increased price.

Auntbeast - see if they’ll peel the grapes for you!