the subversive presence of green apple

I’ve noticed a disturbing trend in the candy industry.

Over the course of the summer, many of the “fruity” sugary snacks (Skittles, Sweet Tarts, and IIRC Starburst) have an interloper–the dread green apple flavor.

“Oh sure,” you think, “What possible harm can this cause you?” But you’ve been fooled! I find myself enjoying the pleasure of my familiar flavors, when, like a Day-Glo Cadillac, the intrusive flavor of green apple demands my attention.

Bring back lime! He’s my friend!

I’m with ya, easy e. I love Skittles and this new green apple flavor wreaks havoc with my taste buds. It just doesn’t blend with the other flavors, it’s a shock to the system.

Down with green apple! The apple is evil, the lime is good! Hooray for lime!

I don’t eat much candy, but came across a funny story in my travels. The factory that makes Reese’s Cups (not a bad candy IMHO) in PA has secretly spent a large amount of time and money retooling the molds for the cups. Well, maybe not that secretly, since the molds were apparently outsourced and people talk too much. The goal? Change the angle of the taper from the cup surface to the base. The profile from the top is unchanged, but the base is smaller and the overall volume and weight reduced. Legally, the new weight will be reported in small print somewhere on the package, but since few will notice, the reality is less product for the same money. I give them high marks for cleverness and frugality, but a ‘needs improvement’ for honesty.

You’re just a bunch of old fuddy-duddies. Green apple is hip! It’s happening! It’s groovy! It’s rad! It’s kewl!