5 hours at the beach + 5 applications of SPF 45 = 1 massive case of sunburn
1 massive case of sunburn + 7 co-workers = 5 people who greet me with a friendly slap on the shoulder or back
5 people informed that I am badly sunburned + 1 idiot coworker who happens to be touchy-feely = 6 times that coworker grabs/hits my shoulders
6 times being grabbed/hit in the shoulders + 1 cranky-ass Roland Orzabal getting damned tired of it = 1 idiot co-worker reduced nearly to tears by verbal lambasting following 6th incident
1 idiot co-worker on the verge of tears + 1 Roland Orzabal with a delayed-action conscience = 1 Roland Orzabal who feels like an ass for the remainder of the day
4 band-aids strategically placed on each shoulder to keep shirt fabric from chafing against burn + 1 job that requires me to move my arms a lot = 1 incredibly bad idea
8 band-aids restricting the range of movement of my burned flesh + 2 attempts to raise my arms above shoulder-level = 1 seriously pissed-off Roland Orzabal - 8 band-aids
And finally,
1 seriously pissed-off Roland Orzabal + 1 polo shirt chafing against burned, irritated, recently debandaided flesh + 2 shifts worked today under these conditions = 1 indescribably shitty day at work.
Can’t help it. It’s an all-too-common formula: idiot acts in an idiotic manner; I ignore it; idiot repeats idiotic action multiple times; I lose it and berate idiot; idiot feels bad; I feel bad. You’d think I’d have learned to leave well enough alone by now, but alas…
In this case, I realize I had nothing to feel bad about, since the action I yelled at her for was in fact causing me pain. Still, I don’t like seeing girls on the verge of tears – it’s a personal thing – and especially when she wasn’t really aware she’d done anything wrong (yes, she’s that stupid).
But, hey, shit happens. She’ll have forgotten about it tomorrow. Which probably means I’m in for some more shoulder-grabbing…
Go into your local drug store and look around in the sunblock section. Look for a spritz bottle of some blue gel kind of stuff. I can’t remember the name, it might be Banana Boat. It’s easy to recognize, it’s the color of cool soothing relief.
If if doesn’t work on your sunburn, try spraying it in clueless cow-orker’s eyes.
I got my first sunburn of the summer last week, right in the middle of my chest (think tank top). I didn’t have anything to put on it, and the only thing in the house that said “With Aloe!” was Desitin Creamy. I swear to Og that I never felt one ounce of pain or unpleasantness. Smeared the stuff on twice and my beat-red chest turned from lobstery to a nice tan in a matter of 3 days. And so far, no peeling.
It will do wonders for the “rubbing against the shirt” thing, too.
DON’T buy Desitin Ointment - it’s slightly different, never washes off, and doesn’t have aloe.
