The Thing I Hate About The Straight Dope Message Board

[Michael_Ellis]

WAAAAAAAGGHHHHHHH!!!

[Themis00]

Did not read.

Too long.

Please keep it under 5 sentences or less.

Thank you.

*Originally posted by cuauhtemoc *
**Something has been bugging me for a really long time and I have to get if off my chest.

I’m an easygoing person, a get-along guy. I’m also an even-tempered, non-excitable person who wouldn’t dream of hamming it up like a drama queen just to discourage all opposition to my viewpoint. That said, I declare that we at the SDMB are witness to some of the worst examples of dishonesty, selfishness, and downright evil in all of human history.

The phenomenon is so widespread I hardly think it’s necessary to include links. We’ve all seen it happen. It starts with a simple disagreement. Someone disagrees especially strongly with the opinion of another poster, and questions whether such opinions should be allowed free expression in a community devoted to fighting ignorance. This inevitably precipitates the response that all opinions are welcome to be expressed, and if certain posters don’t like them, they’re free to ignore them or find another message board.

This is usually met with the counter-argument that, if a person believes that such opinions are dangerous and should be restricted, they should not be denied the right to express that belief, and if it makes others uncomfortable, they are free to disregard them and move on.

But are the rights of those who disagree with allowing such opinions free expression more important than the rights of those who hold that the belief that such opinions should be restricted must be supressed? I certainly don’t think so. Still, I must admit that it would be unjust to silence those who believe in banning the opinion that the belief that certain opinions should not be allowed, or at least confined to the appropriate forum. They are, after all, entitled to their opinions.

Then some asshole has to go and cross the line.

In oozes some drooling, obnoxious, goat-fellating, head-up-his-ass troll whose pathetic little life depends entirely on weighing in with his moronic, ill-informed, bigoted and thoroughly un-American opinion that the people of this message board don’t have the right to protect ourselves from the insidious bile spewed by those who would restrict the right of others to advocate the banning of speech related to the suppression of statements to the effect that the expression of certain opinions should be prohibited.

Don’t these fucking vermin have anything better to do? Are their lives that meaningless, that they have to shit all over interesting and engaging threads just to see their odious names on the screen? Ooh, big man! Posting your sub-moron opinions on a message board just to stir shit, that’s really brave. Meanwhile, these fuckers wouldn’t dare say anything like it to my face.

And to top it all off, I just know some oversensitive prick is going to come along and imply that I’m a fascist or something. I’m not. I just think that this community would be a lot better if we didn’t have to deal with certain beliefs that are obviously over-the-line crackpot paranoid lunacy, namely the delusion that the belief that the opinion that the expression of the idea that certain opinions should be suppressed needs to be restricted ought to be suppressed is something that people should be required to keep to themselves. It’s just not right. It’s a cancer that’s slowly draining the life out of this community, and it needs to stop.

That’s my opinion, and I won’t be silenced. If you don’t like it, go find another message board! **

[Q.E.D]

*Originally posted by cuauhtemoc *
The thing that chaps my ass is people who want to restrict the rights of people who believe that those who hold the opinion that people who think that certain opinions should be banned need to keep their mouths shut from stating their opinions.

Am I the only one trying to figure out what the fuck this means? Can someone please translate this??

[samarm]

This is a parody thread, right?

[FranticMad]

*Originally posted by Q.E.D. *
**Am I the only one trying to figure out what the fuck this means? Can someone please translate this?? **

Simple. These are all paraphrased from great thinkers, like Nietzsche.

**The thing that chaps my ass **
“I haven’t been laid in months” - Dwayne Nietzsche

is people who want to restrict the rights of people
“I wanna be free, like bluebird flying by me” -The Monkees

** who believe that those who hold the opinion that people who think**
“No matter how much cats fight, there always seem to be plenty of kittens” - Abraham Lincoln

** that certain opinions should be banned**
“Don’t talk back, just drive the car” - Peter Gabriel

need to keep their mouths shut from stating their opinions.
“One of these days Alice. One of these days…” -Jackie Gleason

[cuauhtemoc]

*Originally posted by Q.E.D. *
**Am I the only one trying to figure out what the fuck this means? Can someone please translate this?? **

Actually, Q.E.D., I can see why you’re confused. That sentence was definitely not as lucid as it could have been, and I take full responsibility for that. To clarify, what I meant to say was:

The thing that chaps my ass is people who want to restrict the right of people who believe that those who hold the opinion that people who think that certain opinions should be banned must refrain from expressing themselves need to keep their mouths shut to freely state their opinions.

I hope that helps. If not, I can color-code it for easy reference.

[Q.E.D]

Yes, color-code please. There’s far too many dependant clauses for my little mind to deal with.

[cuauhtemoc]

The thing that chaps my ass is people who want to restrict the right of people who believe that those who hold the opinion that people who think that certain opinions should be banned must refrain from expressing themselves need to keep their mouths shut to freely state their opinions.

[Q.E.D]

Excuse me whilst my cranium explodes.

[Scotticher]

It’s your own fault, dear.

You asked.

[Siege]

Not to nitpick or anything but shouldn’t it go more like this?

need to keep their mouths shut to freely state their opinions.The thing that chaps my ass is people who want to restrict the right of people who believe that those who hold the opinion that people who think that certain opinions should be banned must refrain from expressing themselves

[Siege]

#@#&^!* Wrong button!

Never mind!

CJ
:Slinks of in embarrassment:

[cuauhtemoc]

Look, it’s very simple.

Who chaps my ass? People who want to restrict the right of people who believe that those who hold the opinion that people who think that certain opinions should be banned must refrain from expressing themselves need to keep their mouths shut to freely state their opinions.

Whose opinions? People who believe that those who hold the opinion that people who think that certain opinions should be banned must refrain from expressing themselves need to keep their mouths shut.

Whose mouths? Those who hold the opinion that people who think that certain opinions should be banned must refrain from expressing themselves.

Whose… umm, selves? People who think that certain opinions should be banned.

[lel]

*Originally posted by cuauhtemoc *
:: Throws arms around lel and plants big kiss on her forehead ::

cuauhtemoc is definitely back, and now in color!

As for me, I just read Derleth’s explanation and understood the OP much more clearly through that explanation than the others.

[sailor]

If you don’t understand it then you need another drink.

[Greyson3]

I wrote a poem, everybody:
t
h
e thing really that chaps my ass
is the c h a p* s*
that i’m wearing

on my ass

I call that poem “Love”

[cuauhtemoc]

*Originally posted by lel *
**cuauhtemoc is definitely back, and now in color!

As for me, I just read Derleth’s explanation and understood the OP much more clearly through that explanation than the others. **

See, now that’s unfortunate, because Derleth was really wide of the mark. I think s/he understood the OP the least out of anyone.

Only Super Gnat really zeroed in on it

[lel]

Well then, I liked Derleth’s explanation best. I can interpret the OP as I like, right? No? I will anyway.

[samarm]

This is a parody thread, right?

(OK I’ll stop now)

[RedFury]

*Originally posted by cuauhtemoc *
**See, now that’s unfortunate, because Derleth was really wide of the mark. I think s/he understood the OP the least out of anyone.

Only Super Gnat really zeroed in on it **

Try the Arameic/head tilt/mirror bit. There’s just no way that could be a coincidence – so stop being coy.