A few months ago I noticed a decent sized lump on the back of my head. Go to the doctor, told it’s no big deal, which considering the whole boobiecancer scare from a few months ago is a relief. He refers me to a dermatologist.
She was very kind, very pleasant. Stated it was ‘just’ a large lipoma, but because of where it is she would have the “star” doctor do the excision. It’s about 3" up from the nape of my neck in the superior nuchal area (that’s what HE said anyways), tangled in muscles and other fun junk, almost 4mm in size.
Yesterday was the surgery.
Things you don’t want to hear either externally OR internally:
The squeak inside your head when the lidocaine is injected
“You don’t want to go numb here! I’ll just put some more in.”
More squeaks and swooshes inside your head
“Should I shave the whole area?” NO! I want to keep my hair!
The ‘star’ doctor (who was an ass) talking on the phone while cutting the back of your head open
“Wow, you’re a bleeder, aincha?”
The doctor calling everyone, including yourself, “honey” or “babydoll”
“Damn, this IS a big sucker”
You know the sound when you tear apart shredded wheat? Try that IN YOUR HEAD while Dr. HoneyBabyDoll is trying to tear out that thing that went from “no big deal” to the sentence noted above.
“I guess we should’ve draped you better. You really shouldn’t have worn a white shirt, hunh?”
More internal shredded wheat sounds. For an hour.
“That’s good enough” Good enough?
The shush of needles and scissors, with a microsecond sound delay first internally then externally when they sewed my head back up
“Wanna see the thing?”
At one point he almost pushed me off the table, trying to pry it out. I had to ask him a few time NOT to push so hard against my ear “Oh, was I doing that?”. And I have a bruise on my chest from his elbow digging in.
A momentary humorous conversation:
Me: Please clean the back of my head enough so my Mom doesn’t stroke out
A little later…
Me: Why do people get lipomas?
Dr: Have your parents had them? They can be hereditary
Me: No idea, I’m adopted
Dr: But you said your Mom brought you here
Me: Yeahh… I was adopted, not left under a tree
I am now the proud owner of 6 internal and 7 external stitches, a small bald spot, and a head full of pain. I can’t turn my head, as it pulls on the stitches. Luckily tonight I get to wash my hair. That should be fun.
TheKid, who wants to be a forensic pathologist, freaked when she saw the stitches. Maybe a different career path for her then?
The thing is now being examined, hopefully it will remain being no big deal as he couldn’t get it all out. Just typing that sounds icky.
A couple of years ago i has a pingpong ball sized growth on my thyroid. Males aren’t prone to thyroid growths, but those that occur are more likely to be malignant, especially in the older demographic. My endo and my surgeon agreed with me that the best bet was to take the thyroid, so they did. It was a lipoma. About once a year there’s an article in a journal saying"Hey, we found one of those on someone’s thyroid!"
My brother’s response was more muted: “So you’ve managed to give your thyroid a beer gut.”
I will never let a Dermatologist operate on me again, really I think some are on par with barber surgeons.
Didn’t drape you properly tsk
talking to babydolls on the phone grrr
assholish comments dbl grrr
Good thing that scar is hidden in your hairline cause derma’s are not plastic surgeons and I have the very big and visible scars to prove it. And mine came from a highly recommended Dermatologist who had terrible suture skills.
Now where I had a basal cell carcinoma removed by a plastic surgeon there is a very very light scar hardly noticeable.
sending good healing vibes, they did schedule you for a follow up right?
Dumb question-- why just a local? Did they even give you an option for a general? I mean, if it’s tangled up, it’s not like it’s just under the skin and ready to pop out.
This is the kind of story that drives my bp up every time I set foot in a Dr.'s office.
An old acquaintance of mine (who happens to be a veterinarian) had a large lipoma on the back of his neck. Before he knew what it was, he had a few sleepless nights wondering/worrying. So he did a fine needle aspirate of the mass and determined it to be a lipoma. The idea of sticking a needle into yourself, especially given the awkward location, cracks me up.
Obligatory kitty pic 1 and obligatory kitty pic 2.
Last night I washed my hair. That was hideous. This morning I ended up back at the office to restitch two that came undone. My hair, normally fairly curly as it is, was a mass of knots. Suffice it to say I now have less hair!
I still am having a difficult time turning my head. Driving is a treat.
Blech.
BUT I know once it all heals things will be good. Prior to the excision I had a low grade headache for over a month. Now the pain is localized to the surgery area.
I don’t think he realized what he was getting into. He was initially very flippant - it was no big deal. It wasn’t until he sliced my head open that he saw what a mess it was. I’m glad they did it with local anesthesia as I have a phobia of going under general anesthesia.
Yeah. Dermatologists no can has suture skills. I have an awesome scar on my front to prove it… a long linear excision with the not only the suture hole marks still around it, but faint lines where, I guess, the stitches pulled. It looks like a ghost centipede is clinging to me. Three years later.
I had one on my belly removed several years ago. I was pregnant when it formed and no one wanted to go near it. It just kept growing along with the rest of me and was very painful. Finally, it exploded during labor, which was very attractive. My dermatologist got a plastic surgeon to remove it, but I still have a scar.
I’ve got one on my upper back now (genetics are a wonderful thing; my dad and my younger sister get them too). It’s growing, and it’s starting to hurt, so I think it’s back to the dermatologist. Of course, now that I’ve read this, I’ll probably put it off for a few more years.
