Would you do anything for love? Would you do anything for your current SO? What if that entailed:
changing your faith
having a baby
putting a baby up for adoption
robbing a bank
losing weight
turning all financial decisions to them
changing your hair style
turning your back on your family
changing careers
so on and so forth
Do you draw a line at what you would do?
If I change who I am for who I love, it is no longer me who is in love, but rather her fantasy of the kind of man by whom she would like to be loved. In which case she can fuck off and masturbate fantasizing about her fantasy-man.
The question doesn’t make much sense. If you’re already in love then both parties must already love the other for who they already are. I mean, if I love my GF I must accept the good and the bad. If she was prone to putting kitties in a microwave, I wouldn’t love her.
That being said I think you’re talking about what extremes would someone go to for love? Not in the sense of getting love, but to maybe “show” love?
I would lose weight, change my idea of children (I don’t want any), make minor phyiscal changes to look/feel better.
If a drastic change was required (surgery, denouce my friends/family) she can go screw herself like transitionality mentioned.
I don’t see how changing careers can be for love? Or robbing a bank? (if money = love, then you aren’t in love).
There are things in life that are as valuable as life itself (like one’s personal belief system). There are also things in life that are important, but only up to a point (like one’s personal career). There are things that are relatively unimportant (like one’s particular weight, within reason). Then there are things that don’t mean squat (like one’s hair style).
There are also relationships that are as valuable as life itself / important, but only up to a point / relatively unimportant / don’t mean squat.
The key word here is: VALUE. All our values are in a hierarchy, and if you’re clear about that hierarchy, making this kind of choice shouldn’t be a huge problem. So it depends how valuable that relationship is to you, and how valuable that which you’re being asked to change.
I once had a bf who wanted me to grow a beard. I did. No problem. Then he wanted me to get rid of my cats. I shaved off the beard and found a new bf.
Someone who expects their lover to do all those things for them doesn’t have a lover. They have a hostage!
changing your faith Nope.
having a baby Uhhh…well, I’m already a mom, and our kids are great. But we both wanted them. I wouldn’t get pregnant on demand, or if I didn’t think it was the right thing to do.
putting a baby up for adoption Why would someone ask me to do that for love of him? I can imagine situations where that might be a good idea, but not one where it would be a good idea to do so because I’m ‘in love’ with some guy.
robbing a bank No.
losing weight I try to lose weight, I go to the gym and exercise, for me–to get stronger and to be healthier and happier. I can see asking someone else to try to change eating habits or start exercising because I love them and don’t want them to kill themselves, but the best motivation for losing weight is for yourself.
turning all financial decisions to them Unless I’m mentally incompetent or completely irresponsible, that is not a loving request. So, no.
changing your hair style Depends. It’s on my head, not his, but I’m willing to entertain suggestions.
turning your back on your family No. Unless they’re deranged, evil people, and he’s asking me because I’m being damaged. Again, something you have to do for yourself, but might initially be asked to do because someone loves you. Not his decision.
changing careers Hm. Has he become unable to work, and I’m now the sole means of support? I’d have to change careers if I were going to be a sole breadwinner or we’d starve.
People who say they’ll do anything for love are using hyperbole (Usually. I hope). There are many things that are more important than keeping ‘love,’ especially since it’s not really love if those kinds of demands are being made. People who love each other act out of concern, not because they want to control each other and make arbitrary demands in some kind of bizarre test of ‘true love.’
Don’t have an affair with a married man, Isabelle. If he is not willing to leave his wife for you, you are an item of convenience, not the love of his life.
No No No I WON"T have an affair. I want someone to call my own. Actuallly I have been dating a guys since Christmas but we just don’t have the chemical reaction me and the married guy have