I am dissatisfied with the moderators.
I am dissatisfied with my job.
Most of all, though, I’m dissatisfied with my sex life.
Which leads me to a proposition:
danceswithcats, if you blow me, and pay me for it, I will vote for new moderators.
[QUOTE=El_Kabong]
Naw, too complicated; let’s just vote for the ones with the prettiest cats.
[/QUOTE]
I hereby submit Duffy.
I win.
Boyo Jim, you REALLY don’t want to make that kind of offer to danceswithcats – he’ll do it! You know he will!
[QUOTE=silenus]
I’d like to propose a white ballot of the following nominees:
**bibliophage
Cajun Man
C K Dexter Haven
Colibri
Czarcasm
fluiddruid
Frank
Gaudere
Gfactor
Giraffe
InvisibleWombat
Marley23
MEBuckner
Rico
samclem
SkipMagic
tomndebb
TubaDiva
Ukulele Ike **
[/QUOTE]
Great list. These guys would make much better mods than those jackbooted bastards we have to deal with right now.
I would like all nominees to know that my vote can be bought. Cheap.
[QUOTE=Arnold Winkelried]
No, I vote for myself! Who’s with me?
[/QUOTE]
“Big bucks! Romantic walks! Big bucks! Romantic walks!”
That can be your slogan.
The time has come for no moderators. Look at the tardboard sometime. Obviously some long-term, good-guy, newcomer and wannabe posters have axes to grind. I think we need an anonymous forum here. No holds barred. Pure kumite of snark.
This is not a democracy.
You are not a Citizen of the Straight Dope.
If you do not feel that you are given your money’s worth, vote with your dollar and go somewhere else, please.
Better yet, we should ALL be moderators. If poster A is being an asshat, poster B can give an official warning. Then poster C can move the thread while poster D closes it entirely. Whereupon poster E will reopen the thread simultaneously with poster F banning poster A entirely.
[QUOTE=kunilou]
Better yet, we should ALL be moderators. If poster A is being an asshat, poster B can give an official warning. Then poster C can move the thread while poster D closes it entirely. Whereupon poster E will reopen the thread simultaneously with poster F banning poster A entirely.
[/QUOTE]
Yes! Yes!
[QUOTE=Really Not All That Bright]
Shit on by bears, probably.
I like the mods. All of them.
In fact, Congress could totally use moderators.
“You’re not even pretending to discuss the bill on the floor, are you?”
“Well, no, I’m filibustering.”
“No, you’re House-shitting. Don’t make me put on my jackboots”
[/QUOTE]
I had a Summer job house shitting once. Turned out there was a typo in the want ad. Boy, was my face red!
[QUOTE=Rico]
I hereby submit Duffy.
[/QUOTE]
That cat is clearly evil.
Or Kryptonian.
Or both.
Probably both. And trying to give you testicle cancer with his X-Ray vision.
[QUOTE=El_Kabong]
Naw, too complicated; let’s just vote for the ones with the prettiest cats.
[/QUOTE]
Screw elections. I think we should have a gigantic Death Race to determine the victor.
I am really good at Mario Kart, so I assume that I will win this easily.
[QUOTE=kunilou]
Better yet, we should ALL be moderators. If poster A is being an asshat, poster B can give an official warning. Then poster C can move the thread while poster D closes it entirely. Whereupon poster E will reopen the thread simultaneously with poster F banning poster A entirely.
[/QUOTE]
Don’t be silly. You need Admins to ban.
[QUOTE=Scuba_Ben]
Boyo Jim, you REALLY don’t want to make that kind of offer to danceswithcats – he’ll do it! You know he will!
[/QUOTE]
Oh… er… danceswithcats is a he??!! Well, the price is certainly going up!
[QUOTE=El_Kabong]
Naw, too complicated; let’s just vote for the ones with the prettiest cats.
[/QUOTE]
Wait, wait - can you choose not to be a moderator?
[QUOTE=Boyo Jim]
Oh… er… danceswithcats is a he??!! Well, the price is certainly going up!
[/QUOTE]
Yes, he is, and I know for a fact that he doesn’t swing that way, so you’re safe.
[QUOTE=Tamerlane]
Wait, wait - can you choose not to be a moderator?
[/QUOTE]
No, I’m sorry, but I think you are now the moderator of Comments on Cecil’s Columns. Can’t be helped.
[QUOTE=BiblioCat]
Yes, he is, and I know for a fact that he doesn’t swing that way, so you’re safe.
[/QUOTE]
Well, I was dreading the feel of cat tongue on my penis anyway…
I just realized… with comments like this, I ought to be a shoe-in for election to public office.