Listen, guys. I know this is probably a generational thing, and I don’t expect anyone to agree with me. But I just can’t take it anymore. “Classic rock” sucks. It just sucks. It’s a romance invented by baby boomers who want their kids to believe that their generation was the last one that cared and that was able to accomplish anything (boy, do those videos of Woodstock make me believe in a nation of youth united for change! Fuck Woodstock.), and so they tell their kids that “the music meant something back then” and “they don’t make it like that anymore,” while they play the same six fucking songs on every “classic rock” station 24/7 around the stupid country. Here’s a tip, DJs: No one ever needs to hear “Born to Be Wild,” ever again, for the rest of human existence. Not once. Ever.
Also, all the classic “guitar heroes?” Absolute wankers. Jimmy Paige? Eric Clapton? Ritchie Blackmore? Keith Richards? Stevie Ray Vaughn? Pete Townshend? Joe Perry? Total fucking wankers. Skilled? Sure. Interesting? Not even a little.
Also, if it weren’t for “Yellow Submarine,” Revolver would be the only Beatles album that’s good at the wall through. As it stands, none of them are. While I’m at it, Queen sucked, the Eagles sucked, Cream sucked, Led Zeppelin sucked, and by the 70s, the Who sucked too. Also, fuck wah-wah pedals.
Yeah, all this music was very very important, and I’m not going to be so foolish as to deny that. But ex-hippies, get the fuck over yourselves.
Okay everyone, rip me apart now. I just really needed to get that out. There’ll probably be more as I think of it, too.
To allow us to formulate a clearer evaluation of your cogent and persuasively-argued critique, perhaps you’d care to tell us what music you DO find interesting.
Let me condense the OP: “In my (completely subjective) opinion, the music that so many people listen to and love is garbage.”
That some songs are overplayed is clear. But to hate on all of classic rock because of it? That’s ridiculous. Furthermore, it may not be up your alley. I’ll respect someone who doesn’t like, say, Behemoth’s “Ov Fire and the Void”, but I will verbally bitchslap you if you try to bring them down on a musical/objective level.
To me, this period represents a low point in rock ‘n’ roll. By the end of the 60s, it was all about theatrics and pyrotechnics, whether literally or in terms of guitar technique. The performers were miles away from the audience, and they were put on pedestals to a point where kids were growing up thinking, “I could never do that.” I think that’s fucked up. I don’t know how well you can play guitar, I don’t need to hear you noodling for twenty minutes, not ever.
Also, Robert Plant has a voice like nails on on a chalkboard.
Okay, I never saw the point of making statements like this. I’m clearly not going to change anybody’s mind, why pussyfoot around my opinion with wishy-washy language? I THINK all this shit sucks. Is that better?
All right, let’s get something straight here. You are entitled to your opinion, but when you get into the realm of objective criticism, then I will bitchslap you. Case in point: Plant’s voice is alternative, but it led a whole movement of people trying to emulate that wailing, crazy sound. Just listen to Whitesnake or Wolfmother and you’ll see exactly what I mean. You’re objectively wrong; and you may go fuck yourself. You’ve overstepped the bounds of “my subjective opinion” and I will nail you to the cross for doing so.
I didn’t say that. But the wankery that has become canonized and continues to pollute the airwaves is lacking (to me, anyway) the kind of viscerality that makes rock so immediate and also lacking anything else interesting enough to make up for that.
Nail me to the cross? How is it possible to discuss a subjective topic objectively? I obviously didn’t convince you, so who gives a shit whether the words “to me” are in there? I’m not trying to speak for anyone besides myself, so get off your high horse - you couldn’t “bitch slap” me from up there.
Besides, Plant did indeed encourage a movement of obnoxious wailing singers, just like Jimmy Paige inspired legions of uninspired-yet-technically-able wankers.