The Ultimate Badass of All Media -- FINAL ROUND!

This is it. The ultimate showdown. The road has been long and brutal. Epic badasses have gone down in defeat before even more epic badasses. In the last round, Gandalf and the Terminator, were voted out. Now, here we stand at the pinnacle of badassitude. Two competitors remain. Only one can emerge victorious:

Brock Samson

The rules are the same: vote for the bigger badass. I’ll tally the results on Wednesday night. Explaining your decision is always entertaining, but never mandatory.

So it’s come to this.


It’s like choosing between my children.

Batman. Don’t make me explain it–it’s too painful.

It’s the goddamn Batman.

(Conan would have ground his bones into the dust. Just sayin’.)

Batman - unless he hits Brock with a truck.

In a fight, Batman, easily.

In badassitude, Brock, easily. So Brock.


Brock Sampson. He’d make Batman cry like a little girl.

Brock Sampson. Batman has a secret identity to protect those he’s close to, Brock Sampson kills everyone who tries to hurt who he’s close to. Also, he gets bonus points for his “love interest” who is also bad ass (Molotov Cocktease).


Also, Brock tore out her eye and keeps it in a jar on his nightstand.

gotta go with Brock Samson


(was there any doubt?)


Batman is a tortured soul, yearning to avenge the death of his parents.

Brock likes killing.

Brock in a walkaway.

Brock Samson.

Batman only wins if he’s prepared. He is not prepared to be destroyed by Brock Samson’s anus grip.

Brock. He’s taken way more punishment than Batman, both physical and psychological, and keeps on kicking ass. It’s all fuel for his badassery.



Batman has a costume and high tech gadgets. Brock has ugly clothes and a knife. Also Brock is much less wangsty than Bats.

Like Batman, Brock is a “normal” human who routinely kicks the crap out of superhumans.

Unlike Batman, Brock almost never has any trouble with them, and the outcome is never in doubt.

Brock in a walk.

Who the hell is Brock Samson? Some friggin’ upstart? The answer is Batman, if only for timelessness and the fact that he gets away with indulging his rubber fetish in public.